Don't let comparison steal your joy!

I first read this quote on an Instagram post from Sarah Hall, who I really admire as a runner and as a person. Now if a professional runner can run joyfully in that manner, I sure should be able to as well! On one hand, I really enjoy running each and every day; on the other hand, sometimes I am hard on myself because of what I can't do.

This is a conundrum. Racing is about competition, and how can you have competition without comparison? Although I strive to place my best in races and to beat my competitors, ultimately my competition is against myself and improving my PRs. I wouldn't care if I placed dead last if I ran a sub-3:00 marathon! If I don't hit my time goals I am far more disappointed than if I don't win or place; in fact, I've had plenty of disappointing wins because of times. In training, I always compare my times to what I've done before, and sometimes that brings me joy while other times it does steal my joy. 

Although I'm not yet quite sure how to reconcile this, I am definitely going to work on not letting comparison steal my joy. I'm not very good at living in the moment or rejoicing in the present - I'm always thinking ahead - but I think the more I can find joy in each moment the more fulfilled I will be, in running and in life. I shouldn't lose another moment on comparison - with running or with my career, parenting skills, marriage, helpfulness, productivity, possessions, etc. After all, we are all on our own journey and no one person has it all!

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! - Philippians 4:4

I did it!

This workout has been staring me down in an intimidating manner for 5 weeks - ever since I received the training schedule containing it.  It was written as "2 miles warm-up, 8 miles tempo, 5 miles cool-down".  When you have 5 mile cool-downs you really know you are marathon training!  This was a combination tempo workout and long run.

My coach gave me 6:15-6:25 as my goal pace range for the tempo miles, and also said to start slower and speed up if I could.  I've written a few times about his grandiose ideas for my tempo paces, and I've mostly just been hanging onto the top of the pace ranges he has given me.  I had the same pace range for my last 6 mile tempo a couple of weeks ago, and I averaged 6:24 on it so had no delusions of running anywhere near 6:15 pace for 8 miles, and really figured that 6:30 was probably a more realistic pace goal for this run (I could NOT have run 2 more miles at tempo the day I did the 6 at 6:24).

I've felt kind of crummy all week; I think it's been a combination of a hard running weekend (Saturday race plus Sunday 18 miler) in the heat, not getting enough sleep, and the stress of and work of getting ready to leave on an 8-day vacation.  Then when I don't sleep enough I end up eating crappier, so I've been on sugar which gives me a temporary lift, then I feel worse, and then have to reach for more sugar and end up in a bad cycle (and I also feel bloated!).  I did not feel confident about this workout (goal pace or total mileage) - especially considering how I felt on Wednesday (I ran a fartlek that day and wasn't even hitting near 6:25 pace on the "ons", which were only 2-3 minutes!).  So I was feeling a little doomed, but decided that all I could do was give it a try with both the tempo and total mileage, and if I couldn't do part of it or any of it then I couldn't; sometimes your body just can't do it and I am learning to respect that more.

I think having a super short easy run yesterday helped, because I didn't feel awful when starting this run - the first time I could say that this week.  I did my warm-up, which ended up being 2.3 miles, peed and got a sip of water, and started off.  I ran this on the YMCA dirt half mile loop, which sounds awful when you think about 16 laps, but which I love because I get in a really good rhythm and pace well on it without looking much at my watch.  I also think it's a fast course, and I knew that it was probably my only chance to hit my pace goal!  I planned to start around 6:30 pace and knew I would feel fine about this workout if I ended up averaging 6:30, but figured if I felt good then I could try to drop the pace a bit as the run went on and try to sneak closer to the 6:25 goal average.

My first two miles were both 6:30 exactly, and they were okay but I did not feel confident about finishing the 8 miles tempo at that point.  I felt like I was having to push a bit too much to keep my pace there (on a good tempo I usually feel like I am holding back on the beginning miles, especially with a tempo this long).  Mile 3 felt a little better and my pace dropped a bit, and then as I came towards mile 4 I actually started to feel good!  For the first time I thought that I was going to be able to finish the workout! Miles 4-5 were great and I was in the zone, and mile 6 was a little harder but I felt like I had a good chance at keeping it under 6:30 for the remainder.  I looked at my overall pace average, which was 6:27 at that point, and told myself that it was only 2 more miles. "It's like mile 11 of a half marathon!" 

That thought helped me push more and speed up mile 7.  Then I decided to hammer mile 8 and see how much I could take off my average pace.  I was happy to see that I dropped to 6:11, and also quite happy to be done!  I walked for probably 2 minutes and got a drink before starting my cool-down.  I didn't feel too confident about running all 5 miles of it, but again I decided to try!

The 5.1 mile cool-down felt much like I expected it would when I saw this crazy workout on paper, and believe it or not "good" was not the adjective that came to mind!  I felt like I was really slogging, but my pace stayed right around 8:00 or just under, so it was just fine and I got the miles in. It wasn't the easiest but it was manageable. 

My legs are pretty hammered from this, but my next 3 days are pretty light (5 easy miles, 7 base pace miles with strides, cross-train), so hopefully I can recover well - although I will be on vacation which will be a barrier.  I don't have my August training schedule yet (I am expecting it on Sunday - but I know that August 1 will be no running because I never run on Mondays).  I am both excited and terrified to see what it brings! I once read a quote that was something like, "If your goals don't scare you, they aren't big enough", and I guess the same could be said about your tempo paces!

Splits

 

Because (s)he's racing and pacing and plotting the course

That Cake song is a classic in my book! And I did a little pacing and racing this week, or at least pretended to!

Week in review for July 18-24:

Mileage: 53.3 with one double, one split tempo, one 5K, one long run, one strength bootcamp, and a set of strides for good measure.

Jamie & I before the Bentley 5K ("I'm not going to touch you for the picture" - it was very hot!)

Monday - Cross-training Monday kicked off with 30 minutes of elliptical to warm up and 45 minutes of bootcamp.  We don't run much in bootcamp, which is good because I go on non-running days, but today we did a ladder type thing that included jumping jacks, squats, push-ups, and mountain climbers, with short sprints between sets.  Got my heart pumpin'!

Tuesday - 11.5 base pace miles total with 8 in the morning (7:29) and 3.5 at lunch (7:16).  I always think it's neat to see how my pace fluctuates with slight elevation changes as I maintain an equal effort throughout (see below).  I also love Strava for being able to look at my run data this way! Side note: if you're on Strava, add me!

I couldn't remember if my second run was supposed to be 3 or 4 miles, so I ran 3.5 (it was 3).  After last week my coach told me to slow down my second short runs, and I have never before been one to run easy runs too fast, so I don't know what's happening on these second runs because I sure felt like I was going slower than I was on this one!  First world runner problems. Next week I promise it will be slower than 7:30.

Elevation fluctuations

Wednesday - 10 miles with 2 warm-up, 3-2-1 mile tempos with 0.5 recoveries, 1 cool-down.  My target pace on this was 6:15 and it went very well with splits of 18:41, 12:26, and 6:09.  I liked this workout a lot, because although it was 6 miles of work, the recoveries split it up nicely and also with each repeat being shorter it seemed very do-able to maintain pace.  Full description and splits here.  This was a confidence-boosting workout, and I wish I had it last week so it could actually have helped my 5K race instead of being so close that it could only hurt it.

Thursday - 6.1 miles easy (7:49) with 6 strides in last mile.  My first mile especially was quite a slog, as I was feeling Wednesday's workout!  I felt better as the run went on, as usual, but I was okay with only having 6 miles.

Friday - A day off...which was 10 minutes on the elliptical to maintain the workout streak.  I set my alarm for 7:00 a.m. but woke up at 5:32 a.m. - boo!

Saturday -7.5 miles total - 2.5 warm-up (7:30ish), 5K race (6:12) at the Bentley Fund 5K, 1.8 cool-down (8:20ish).  Jamie talked me into running this one, and I acquiesced because I hoped to hold onto her in the race as long as I could to get a good time, and because the race had prize money.  Since my recent workouts have been tempos and not speed work, I thought that 6:10 was a good 5K pace goal for me - especially considering that this race took place during an extreme heat advisory.  Jamie talked me into trying 6:05 pace, and said the race would be "interesting".  Refer to my response to her and to my actual race splits below!

I knew what I could be in for!

2 miles of racing + 1 mile of giving up + 0.2 redemption sprint

Jamie and I warmed up together and started the race together.  My plan (which she knew about) was to let her set the pace and to not look at my watch.  I seem to do better in 5Ks when I run this way - I think because they are fast and intimidating from the gate. We had another lady, Amy, in the mix with us, and we all three clipped off those first two miles right around 6:05 pace.  Around 1.8 or 1.9, Amy made a move and Jamie and I both tried to cover her, but neither quite could.  At that point we also turned up a long incline (this entire course except for the final 0.3 seemed like incline!).  Going up the incline, Amy pulled out and Jamie pulled away from me.  At the mile 2 mark the gap from Jamie to me was small (2-3 seconds), but it was enough that I'd lost contact.  I wanted Jamie to go with Amy, and I also wanted my legs to go with both of them but they sure wouldn't!

The gap grew a little more and a little more, and I kind of just gave up.  I knew I was going to finish third female at that point, and I was dying.  I didn't look at my watch at all but kind of wish I had because maybe that would have got me going at least a little better than I was during mile 3.  In retrospect I am mad at myself over it, but at the time I don't know if there was much more I could do anyway. I ended up finishing in 19:34.  My Garmin had the course at 3.18, and it's impossible to know if it was a little long or if I didn't run the tangents (there were a lot of turns), or Garmin error was a bit more than usual - or some combination of all of the above.  Even if it was a tad long, there is still no question that I crashed and burned in the last mile!

I think/hope I could have held onto 6:05 pace if it had been 60 degrees and a flat course (and perhaps without the Wednesday workout) - so I will try again.  The 5K knocks me down every time, but darn it, I am going keeping trying to run another one in the 18's before I get too old to try!  My husband tells me that I need to try this not during a 53 mile training week (novel idea, but not sure I can ever justify resting more than 1 day for a 5K).

Finish

Sunday - 18 mile long run (7:34).  I wasn't the most motivated to start this run; it was 5:30 a.m., we were still in that extreme heat advisory, I ate a lot on Saturday night, and I was still kind of mad at running and wondering if I should even be marathon training (over my poor final mile on Saturday -- I finally told myself that not even Galen Rupp could run his best 5K off of marathon training, as shown at the Olympic Trials!).  Due to logistics, I also had to run this one solo, but Jon decided to bike part of it with me since Albani was with my parents.  It ended up being about 9 miles alone followed by about 9 miles with him on the bike.

My long run base pace range from my coach is 7:30-7:45 so I decided that I needed the upper range on this run and started closer to 7:45.  My miles stayed pretty close to 7:40 for 14 miles, and I was feeling good at that point so dropped the final 4 to 7:27, 7:17, 7:16, and 6:49, which improved my overall pace average.  I think I was fearful of crapping out at the end of this run, so being able to finish strong and feeling good sure made me thankful.  The miles went pretty fast and I can't believe that I am already up to 18 miles and 11 weeks out from my marathon!

Long run part 1

Long run part 2

Are workout PRs still PRs?

I'm not talking about comparing training times to racing times, but about comparing workouts to other workouts. We can all use a little more PR in our lives, so I say these can be celebrated in addition to race PRs (and these are easier to come by!)! Garmins aren’t perfect and will always have some margin of error, but comparing one workout on a Garmin to other workouts on a Garmin is close enough for a workout PR for me (as for race PRs, I won’t count them unless they are on certified courses).

Anyhow, the workout I had yesterday was only the second time I had run this sequence, so my chances of a workout PR were pretty good!  I often look at my past times and try to beat them when I’m repeating a workout, but I did not this time because my overall objective was different across the reps (even pacing this time).  The workout was 2 miles warm-up, 3-2-1 mile tempos on the road at 6:15 with 0.5 recoveries, 1 cool-down.

I felt okay going into this workout – not fresh but not exhausted.  It was of course a million degrees with a million percent humidity, but overall I’m a good heat runner so didn’t stress about that.  I ran my warm-up, got a drink of water from the bottle I set on my mailbox, and was off on my first tempo of 3 miles. My pace was pretty even right around 6:15 throughout the first mile and I came through it at 6:14.  I hoped I could maintain that for 5 more miles!  Mile 2 was 6:17, and mile 3 was 6:09 (I pushed a little more on it knowing I would get a recovery after) – for 18:41 for the 3 miles.

My heart rate and breathing were high at the end of the 3 miles, but dropped pretty quickly on the recovery jog.  A half mile was plenty of time, and I was as ready as I would ever be for the 2 mile.  Sometimes I have a hard time getting going again after a recovery jog, but this time wasn’t bad, although I did feel better as the rep went on and negative split with a 6:17 then 6:09 for a 12:26 2 mile.  Then off for another half mile recovery jog.

On paper, the 1 mile at the end of this workout seems like it will be easy – because 1 mile at tempo pace isn’t a big deal – but in reality it wasn’t because I had the cumulative fatigue of 5 tempo miles on my legs.  I felt confident I could run a 6:15 but hoped to make it a little faster, and did with a 6:09.  This meant that my average for all 6 of the hard miles was 6:12.

Last week I had a 6 mile tempo with a goal range of 6:15-6:25, and finished that in 6:24 average.  I can’t currently do 6 miles straight at 6:15 in a workout, but give me a couple of half mile recoveries and I can exceed it.  I know the latter will help me improve on the former.  I liked this workout mentally too, as it was easy to think about maintaining the same pace but running a mile shorter each time.  Also splitting the miles up made it less intimidating than 6 miles straight tempo, particularly since I ran this alone.

I had a feeling that I’d run quite a bit faster this time than the last time I ran this workout, so I looked back at my training log and found it – run back in March 2015 (I remember the weather being nice and cool!), on a course I consider a little faster than what I ran on this time.  My splits then were 19:17, 12:41, 6:13 – so I improved this round with my 18:41, 12:26, and 6:09.  That made me feel good about my recent training, and like I am progressing.  I’ve been getting caught up in kind of feeling like I’m maintaining but not getting faster.  I know I'm not out of shape by any means, but I wasn't sure if I was improving enough to try for a sub-3:00 marathon in October; however, this made me feel like I really am getting more fit. I need a confidence-boosting race to really feel good about things, and hopefully that will come sooner rather than later!

Splits

 

Olympic Trials

Who else loved watching the track and field Olympic Trials?!  I watched more television in the 6 days they were on than I have in the previous 6 months (well, perhaps not quite, as I watched an awful lot of TV while on the spin bike in February when I couldn’t run for 5 weeks!).

I of course enjoyed the distance events the most, although several women I was hoping would qualify did not (Sara Hall, Kellen Taylor, Jordan Hasay, Stephanie Bruce, to name a few).  I was ecstatic that Brenda Martinez qualified in the 1500 m. after getting tripped up in the 800 m. final (I was confident that she would have qualified in the 800 m. had she not been clipped on the final turn so really felt for her).  It was also fun to see a runner from Nixa, Missouri (15 minutes from where I live!) qualify in the 3000 m. steeplechase (Courtney Frerichs).  It was no surprise to see Molly Huddle victorious in the 5000 and 10,000, Emma Coburn win the steeple, or Jenny Simpson dominate the 1500 m.

My favorite men’s moment was Benard Legat winning the mens’ 5000 m. at age 41!  I can’t quite be a big Galen Rupp fan, and I’m not exactly sure why because I do think that he will do well in Rio, but I think it’s something to do with all of the Salazar doping possibilities and also because I thought he was just showing off by running the 5000 m. at the trials with already having Olympic spots in the marathon and 10,000.  Jon and I played a lot of "who's doping" while watching these, which is sad that it has become so common.

I also enjoyed seeing someone I raced against in 2015 in the 1500 m. final (Stephanie Brown).  Not that I was ever actually in the running with her in the race we both ran, but I saw her at the starting line and running away from me in the first mile, and also receiving her overall female award before I went up for my 3^rd overall female award.

When we were watching the womens’ 5000 m. finishers come in around 15:00, Jon told me, “You’re only 3.5 minutes off of the Olympic Trials, Sug!”  I laughed so hard…yes, “only” 1:10 per mile improvement on my best 5K time is needed!  That’s going to take more dope than anyone has available!

I was 3rd overall female (way) behind two pros in this one