Doing me vs. the comparison game

I've always been bad about playing the comparison game with my running (as well as with other aspects of my life, but that's a different post).  Now, with today's online presence of all levels of elite, sub-elite, competitive, and recreational runners, it's possible to not only compare yourself to others you know and race, but also to runners from all around the world!  You of course get snapshots of information and not a complete contextual comparison, though (e.g., she is running 100-120 mpw, but spent 10 years building up to that, has twice weekly massages and physical therapy, works part-time, etc.).  Being in my 30s, I've gotten a lot better about doing me and not trying to do what others are doing, but the comparison game can sneakily creep in, and platforms like Strava make it easy to fuel that fire.

My running goals are primarily about beating myself and improving my PRs; I'm not worried about how I place a whole lot, although when I am competing with other women it drives me push myself harder, and I absolutely strive to perform and place my best in competitive situations.  Training with women in recent years has shown me that I can support others in achieving their bests while at the same time pursuing my best; I get just as excited about my friends' races and achievements as my own, and theirs in no way take away from mine.  There is certainly room in this world for all of us to be our personal bests!  Also, I would take a PR and a second place (or 100th place!) finish over a win with a mediocre time any day.  So my comparisons come from thinking that there are women out there training harder than me (some much harder!), and if they can train harder then I should be too, if I want to meet my goals.  I alluded to it here.  I have big aspirations for my half and full marathon times particularly, and somehow when I see others running more mileage, more workouts, more doubles, etc. I begin to think that I am not working hard enough to achieve the results I want.

Patience has never been my strong suit when going after something I want.  I want to work and to push!  The comparison thoughts that taunt me are:

"You're peaking at 65 miles a week.  People are running 80, 90, 100, 120?!  How can you expect to run a fast marathon averaging 58-60 miles a week?!  That's not enough mileage!"

"Everyone else is doing three hard runs a week - a speed/hill workout, a tempo run, and a long run - while you're only doing two. That's not enough workouts!"

"Those girls are running doubles every day, or at least 3-4 days a week.  Doing one (rarely two) isn't going to get you very far.  That's not enough doubles"

"All of the fast women run 7 days a week.  Why do you still need a day off running every week - in addition to one really short day each week?  How are you ever going to PR with that?  That's not enough running!"

However, I am also trying to appreciate that I have been PRing, while staying healthy and feeling great!  I think there is this assumption in the running community that if you are doing marathon training right, you'll be running around in a constant state of fatigue on dead legs.  Runners pride themselves on being run-down during peak training.  I used to believe this, but not anymore; I think if you feel that way you are over-training.  Anyone is going to have periods of tiredness and "dead leg" days, but if that's the norm instead of the exception, it probably means you are pushing too hard - I know for me that was the case.  After all, it's actually rest and recovery that make our bodies stronger - the workouts break our bodies down, and then training adaptation occurs when they build back up (an amazing process when you think about it).  If you don't allow your body to build back up, you're not going to experience the desired training gains.  It's a whole lot easier to focus on making improvements through the hard work than through the recovery, though!

All of this to say - I am wiser about my training now than I ever have been before, but I still compare and feel like it's not enough.  My training is working for me, and I am thankful, but I also want more!  I am going to try to look at those women running more/harder/faster, and strive to build up to that, intelligently and patiently, and under my coach's expertise, because we all know I'll screw it up on my own.  I'm not selecting my fall marathon(s) until after Phoenix, as my performance in Phoenix will influence my decision, but I am already excited about my next training cycles, which will be more, in a planned and conservative way.

Dare to compare?