CIM Training Journal #3: Why do these goal paces keep making me laugh?

This continues CIM Training Journals #1 and #2.

August 28, 2017
My running confidence is a pretty fickle thing.  Some days I think I am going to be ready to try 26.2 at 6:17 pace in December, and other days I don't think I can even run a 5K at 6:17 pace!  It is heavily influenced by my surroundings and recent events, which of course I know as a behavior analyst (environment determines behavior, and confidence is really just verbal behavior).  I am not exactly sure how I can be less dramatic about it though.  Right now it's good workout = "I am ready to take on the world" and bad workout = "I'm never going to run anything good again".

My coach advises me to focus on the week I'm in and on getting in the day-to-day training.  It's all targeted at getting me to my goal, and success is the sum of small efforts repeated day after day.  I love the every day process, and sometimes I get lost in enjoying it (and stop thinking about the end goals), which is the best!

I think some of my worry stems from setting a very big and very public goal.  Before the BMO Mesa-Phoenix Marathon, I was quite open that I was chasing a PR, but that wasn't a super challenging goal given how my fall 2016 marathons both has snafus that prevented me from performing my best, that I'd raced two break-through half marathons, and that the Phoenix course was faster than those I ran in 2016. I didn't share my big scary secret goal of 2:49 until after the race. Perhaps I should have taken that approach with CIM -- but I was just so excited I couldn't hide it and now I've told the world!  Live and learn, right?!

August 30, 2017
15 base pace miles before work this morning!  Beforehand I figured if I ran it in about 1:45, I could even be on time to work (it was a day I had a little flexibility and could roll in at 8:30 instead of 8:00 if I needed to) -- and I finished it off in 1:44:15, or 6:57 average pace.  Now I *just* need to run 1 hours longer 40 seconds/mile faster, bahaha!  I am feeling good about my long runs right now though...my speed, not so much!

August 31, 2017
I don't know why God has blessed me with running, but I am so thankful for it every day.  I recently saw the quote, "Happiness is based on happenings, but joy is based on Jesus."  I am guilty of letting disappointing performances put a damper on my mood, but at the end of the day I've got the joy of Jesus in my heart no matter what!  May I run and do everything else like a soul on fire!

September 7, 2017
I'd call this an un-confident week.  I'm tired from the weekend, swamped at work, and keep thinking that if 6:10 pace was all I had in the Run for a Child 10K, then working towards 6:17 pace for 20 miles farther in 12 weeks is impossible.  My coach told me that no one runs well when the dew point is in the 70s, and that my training wasn't targeted at a fast time in that race (it was supposed to be more of a tempo than a race, but the high end of my tempo range is 6:10 so it was barely that!).  I think I am really caught up in thinking that I have to hit a certain time for a 10K in order to hit a certain time for a half in order to hit a 2:45:00 for a full.  But obviously there are additional factors at play, including tapering or lack of tapering, peaking, weather, competition, course, etc. (I later mentioned the amazing effects of these things here).  I am just feeling discouraged and worn out this week!

September 11, 2017
Running the Plaza 10K was a really good call.  I didn't feel like I could mentally handle another race that felt like the Run for a Child 10K, and with the temperatures forecasted for Plaza I almost wondered if it would do me more harm than good to run it.  But I am so glad I gave it a go!  I was able to average 5:59 pace with temperatures in the 70s/85% humidity on a somewhat rolling course (170 ft of gain).  I like to think I could do 5:55 pace with ideal conditions, and this race made me more confident that I really could, or a tad faster if I tapered.  I also feel better about my half marathon goal on September 30; I will need ideal weather conditions to hit it, but with a taper I think it's reasonable to give it a go!  Now let's see if my 2 x 4 mile tempo workout tomorrow confirms that... (Follow-up:  the 2 x 4 mile tempo workout went well considering I was feeling the Plaza race/long run combo on my legs.  I averaged 6:02 for the first 4 mile tempo and 6:06 for the second, and all of my miles were within my goal range of 6:00-6:10, although I had to really fight for it in the final 2 mile, and clearly would have preferred a negative split!).

September 14, 2017
This morning after mentioning to one of my training partners that CIM is 11 weeks away, I started thinking about "life after marathon" and Plan B.  Right now, Plan A is to try for the OTQ B standard at CIM, but if I get to CIM and it's 75*, I won't try -- which would be disappointing, but I'm not that big of an idiot.  If I have nice weather and try, I could very well fail.  I didn't break 3:00 the first time I tried either, and if I were into setting easily achievable goals this would not have been one I selected.

No doubt that I will try again if I don't achieve my goal, but should I try another one off of the same training cycle?  I've had success running two marathons off of one training cycle before (Bass Pro + Dallas in 2015, Prairie Fire + Bass Pro in 2016, and even back with I was training myself pretty cluelessly with Heart of America + Bass Pro 2010).  With my Mesa-Phoenix training cycle I only ran one, but I was able to hold near my peak long enough to also run PRs in the half and 10K (plus a solid 12K and a second solid half), so I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility to give it a try.  I just hadn't thought about it until now because I've been so focused on CIM being IT, and on choosing no future races until after it.  I'm not sure if it's a good or bad approach to have a Plan B already, but since I'm a planner...

I looked up the Chevron Houston Marathon, because I knew it was in January, notoriously fast, and a USATF sanctioned event where several people net OTQ times.  I qualify for their Athlete Development Program (ADP), so I could get some perks, including a free entry.  It's 6 weeks after CIM, so close enough that I could probably hold peak or close, but far enough that I would have enough time to fully recover.  I like knowing it's there as an option, so I'm heavily considering submitting my application for the ADP, but I should probably discuss it with my husband and coach first...

Either way, there will be life after marathon, which is almost unbelievable! 

September 17, 2017
I had a really good long run today that made me think that maybe, just maybe, 6:17 pace for 26.2 at peak on a fast course in ideal weather with a group to run with is something I can do.  I feel like I really need a big half PR before I try it, though.

September 18, 2017
Well, I made this today...  There's a lot of 6:15s on there (insert freak out face here)!

September 22, 2017
I told Jon I wanted to take it easy over the weekend, "because I have to try to run 13.1 miles at 6:06 pace next weekend", and we both laughed at how crazy it is to run that pace for a half, and the irony that it is not a completely unrealistic goal.  Seeing it on paper terrifies me!  I am glad I will have another go at it in November.  Right now I feel ready to go for a PR (under 1:21:26), but not a 1:19 -- which is the same way I feel about my marathon (ready for a PR but not a 2:45).  I also made this, although I don't think I'm going to use it this time.

I've been thinking about how God puts dreams in our hearts for a reason, and this concept is going to be a complete blog in itself, but I hope I am using things that happen along the way to serve Him and to serve others.  Building each other up is what it's all about, and I've been so blessed to have so many amazing people come into my life through running.  I hope I help them as much as they help me.  I try to be encouraging of others, in running and in non-running life.  Sometimes running feels like a selfish pursuit (especially in regards to pursuing big goals like these), but I pray I am using it as I am supposed to!

September 23, 2017
I'm wrapping up this training journal following my first 20 miler of this training cycle!  It felt great at a 6:49 average pace, and in general my long runs have made me feel good about my goal because I'm averaging over 20 sec/mile faster than I was running them at before BMO Mesa-Phoenix.  With my marathon goal pace being 10 sec/mile faster than I ran at Phoenix, it appears the math is in my favor.  After my run today, I thought, "Now I *just* have to run 10K farther at 32 sec/mile faster"...and I then laughed out loud.