Grandma’s Marathon: Half through 20

As I entered the second half of the race, I felt good but not good enough to put the pedal to the metal.  For most of the race, I just felt like I was running exactly what I could maintain for 26.2 miles.  When my coach asked me afterward how I felt the majority of the race - all-out effort, strong, fast, etc. - the only way I could answer was that it felt like the maximum pace I could sustain for a marathon, and I still can't think of a better way to describe it.

After the half, I ran with the man in the red jersey for a bit, then moved back into No Man's Land.  Although I felt fine enough physically, I went through my roughest patches mentally during this portion of the race.

Thoughts like, "I'm never going to be good enough to run the 2:45" started creeping in.  I began wondering if this race was worth it, knowing I wouldn't PR or run the standard.  Why had I trained for so many months to at best run a 2:48?  Was I even going to make it under 2:50?  I was disappointed that race day magic hadn't made 6:15 feel easy and maintainable.  I was angry that I couldn't force my body run a faster marathon.  I wondered what I'd done wrong, and what all of the women ahead of me were doing better.

But I fought the negative, reminding myself of the progress I've made and how just 18 months prior I'd never have believed I could run a marathon at 6:2X pace.  It's so easy to want more, but often so hard to appreciate how far we've come.  I reminded myself to be thankful that I'd made it to this marathon, after how poorly my training cycle had started.  I was truly thankful, but sometimes when I'm getting tired it's more difficult to remember!

Based on my posture, this was probably
taken after mile 20, but I need a photo!

It was also in this section of the race that I realized how terrified I was of finishing this race feeling like I felt at the end of CIM.  I did not want to experience that again; I wanted to err on the side of being conservative to avoid it.  I was also scared about the time that can potentially be lost in the final miles of a marathon.  I can take end-of-race physical pain, but the mental anguish of falling off pace while fighting with every ounce of my being to stay on is harder for me to handle.  Sometimes in a marathon, there is just nothing you can do to make your legs do what you want them to do.  I'm not sure I'll ever get completely over being unable to force my body to move any faster at the end of CIM, but I didn't really realize that until this portion of Grandma's.

The half to mile 20 was a net uphill, and although it was hardly noticeable when running, it influenced my splits particularly in miles 17 and 20 (I think it's clear why from the elevation profile).  I am thankful for many reasons that I didn't run this race by my watch, and this is one of them!  My Strava grade-adjusted paces were more even than my actual splits, which I am very proud of.

The closer I got to mile 20, the more runners I started reeling in and the more spectators I saw lining the streets.  The mile 20 clock read 2:08:5X as I passed (officially 2:08:51), and I told myself to give it my all and try for a sub-40 final 10K.  I took an inventory of how I felt, and noted that I had more left than I'd had at that point at CIM (but also that my time at 20 at CIM had been 2:06:10).  Nothing hurt or felt off.  I was fatigued but didn't feel like I was going to bonk, which is always promising!  I reminded myself to run the final 10K with joy and thankfulness, with all my legs had in them.

Elevation profile

Splits