Rock the Parkway Half: When starting line predictions come true, & choosing gratefulness

The short:

I had several pre-race thoughts that came to fruition:

• "I think I can get 3rd overall, behind Kim and her [an unknown girl I pegged as fast]"
• "I'm still tired from that 10,000 m last week; I don't think I'm going to have the strongest race"
• "In this wind, if I can run faster than my second half of the Phoenix Marathon, I'll be doing good"
• "The slow miles will be: 1-3, 8-9, and 11"
• "The fast miles will be: 4, 6-7, and 13"

I finished in 1:23:15, good for 3rd overall female in the largest half marathon in the Midwest, and slid in 20 seconds faster than my second half in Phoenix (phew!).  The wind made the race one to run for place and not time -- we had a 20 mph headwind for the second half of the out-and-back race -- and although I'm not thrilled with my time or how the race played out, I am really happy about taking 3rd.  I have mixed feelings about the day, but I also know I did the best I could with all of the factors at play.  I thank God that I'm healthy and get to be out there, and I ran happy the whole way even when I was running on empty!  On to the next!

Official race results are here, and you can scroll down to see a finishing video and several pictures (including a screenshot of my splits that I predicted well based on the elevation).

The wind rocked the parkway, I tried to rock it, & I was wearing shorts!

The long:

Rock the Parkway is a large competitive race, and I put it on my spring schedule for that reason.  The timing of it wasn't wonderful, but I could never figure out an ideal mid-March to mid-May schedule that included every event and distance I wanted to include, so eventually I stopped trying to make things perfect and committed to my current plan.  In the week leading up to this race, I struggled with gearing up for race-day, because I was tired all week.  My 10,000 m race on March 31 that was followed by a sleepless night and a power-packed weekend, which rolled straight into a busy work week that concluded with my monthly visit to our Kansas City division, did not leave as much as I would have liked in the reserves.  I didn't get excited about the race until the day before it, which is unlike me.

I'd been eyeing the race morning forecast, and it looked a little warm (50-60*), but good enough.  I didn't look at the wind forecast until I asked my coach a couple of strategy questions about the course and he mentioned that we were supposed to have quite the headwind during the second half of the race.  I'd been wavering back and forth between a couple of time goals for the race, but when I saw the wind speed I decided to throw out time goals and mainly aim to place as high as I could -- always a vague goal since it all depends on who shows up.  I knew a win was out, as my super fast friend/coach's wife Kim was entered and had historically run 1:16s there, but I hoped to nab a top 5 spot to finish in the prize money.  Not pushing for a time goal was disappointing, but I had perfect weather when I ran my half PR so I was under no delusion of having any chance of beating it with a 20+ mph headwind for half the race!

Race morning came, and I was feeling pretty "meh".  I was tired during my warm up, but I've had every combination of good/bad warm up and good/bad race, so I tried to not worry about it as I went through my normal pre-race routines.  I was in the elite starting wave, and either personally knew or knew of most of the other women in the wave.  Based on my knowledge of their recent performances, I thought I had a good chance at 3rd overall, behind Kim and a girl I didn't know but who looked faster than me (through this story she will be called "the brunette", but I will point out that she looked like she was Kenyan to back up why I thought she looked super fast).

I looked tired before the start (Jon says I looked tired all week)

Gun time came, and I went out conservatively per my plan.  I wanted my first mile to be about 6:25, and I came through in 6:23.  As the field sorted out, Kim and the brunette were far in front, and by the 1 mile mark I found myself running side by side in third/fourth with a girl we will call "the blond."  I didn't feel awful but I didn't feel wonderful, and with first and second way in front of me I decided maybe I should do the minimum it took to get third, and I settled in next to the blond.  I didn't look at my splits as we cruised along side by side, but the pace felt conservative and I knew miles 2-3 would be/should be slow since they were all uphill.

I was happy with my newfound goal of running next to the blond until towards the end, and I felt confident that I could outlast her because I knew she'd run 3:00 at Phoenix 6 weeks ago (how was that only 6 weeks ago?!).  I almost breathed a sigh of relief thinking that I could possibly run a 1:25-1:26 and get third, as I just wasn't sure what my legs had to give.

Just as I got comfortable with this plan, it changed; as race plans that depend on other people often do (also why I prefer time and split goals!).  I saw the brunette up ahead of us, and we were gaining rapidly.  I could tell we weren't running that fast, so I was surprised she was coming back to us, and quickly.  I knew mile 4 would be fast with more downhill than up, and around the end of that mile we caught the brunette.  I assumed she must have gone out too fast, because she was running much slower than us as we came up on her and (I thought) went by.  I would later look back at this point as a mistake, but I don't know how I possibly could have avoided it given the knowledge I had at the time; she was probably running 7:30 pace when we came up on her (after starting around 6:00 pace).

I continued on with what I assumed was the blond right on my heels.  I eased up at times thinking she'd come up beside me, as she had been good with running side by side earlier on, but she didn't so I just assumed she was barely holding on.  I could feel someone right on me, and I also kept hearing spectators yell "go ladies" and "2nd and 3rd female", so I knew she was right there.  I tried to work off the men around me, and told myself to stay close to a tall man who I'd been running around so that maybe I could draft off of him when we got into the headwind.

My spectators rocking the parkway

I looked at my watch for the second time in the race when we crossed the 10K mat, to get a vague idea where I was at.  My 10K was 39:20, which I knew was 6:20 pace.  Miles 6-7 are fast, and I tried to enjoy them knowing that 8-9 would be hard due to the elevation and the wind.  For the first time, around mile 8, due to seeing her hair and running form in her shadow, I realized that it was not the blond who was sitting on me, but the brunette who I'd thought was dying around mile 4.  She was the one I'd pegged as fast on the starting line, so then I started to worry.  It was also a surprise because she'd slowed so significantly from her first couple of miles to when I thought I'd passed her.

Mile 8 of this course is hard, and with the headwind it was brutal.  A man ahead of me walked up part of the hill -- not something you see a whole lot from runners doing 6:20 pace!  I started doubting myself, but I also reminded myself of the climbs on the Rock 'n' Roll Arizona course in miles 8-9, and how I didn't feel good on those but was able to re-group afterward for a strong finish.  The race was becoming a mind game for me too, as I realized what the brunette was doing:  she was doing the least she could to get second, and I wasn't sure there was anything I could do about it.

After I survived the climbs in miles 8-9, I knew I needed to do more to try to get her off my tail, because leading is always harder than following.  I tried surging but she went right with me.  I tried slowing down -- at one point I bet I slowed to 8:30 pace -- but she would not go around.  I weaved back and forth across the road.  During the 2016 Olympic triathlon in Rio, Gwen Jorgensen and Nicola Spirig had a similar battle, and I remember watching and thinking how frustrating that must be for the leader.  Now I was living it!  She weaved with me, she sped up with me, she slowed down with me, but she would not come up beside me or go around me.  I'd of course had the "do the least I can to get third" thought early in the race, but I ran beside the blond and did not sit on her like this girl was doing to me.

This was the situation

At this point in the race, we were also battling the intense headwind that would continue through the finish of the out-and-back course.  My mind was bouncing back and forth between my frustration with the brunette and my worries about not having much left.  Every incline felt like a mountain, and I kept telling myself just to get over the next one and I'd get relief.  I gave up on getting the brunette to do anything except sit on me, and I pulled in the tall guy we'd been going back and forth with since around the 10K mark and tried to draft off him.  I couldn't quite find the sweet spot to use him as much of a wind block, though.

At mile 10 I looked at my watch for the third time in the race, to see my split of about 1:03:40.  In my other recent halves, I've taken on the final 5K with abandon, challenging myself to run around or under 19:00, but all I could think was, "I hope I can pull off a 20:00 final 5K to finish under 1:24".  My legs felt completely empty at that point, and I saw another guy walking uphill (what?!).  I started thinking, "What if I have to drop out?  How pathetic will that be?  And which would be worse, finishing in 1:26 or dropping out?"  I had no idea how far back fourth and fifth place were, but I started worrying not only that the brunette would soon be over-taking me, but also that everyone else was coming for me.  My form fell apart as I battled the wind on dead legs.  In hindsight, I actually ran pretty even splits for the two halves of the race, since my 10K was 6:20 pace and my finishing time was 6:21 pace, but it didn't feel like it!

I cropped this one so it's just me ;-)

Around mile 11, the tall guy who we'd been leap frogging back and forth with said to me something like, "I see what she's doing to you; do you want to draft off me?" and eased right in front of me again.  I said yes and thanked him, but again struggled to find a good drafting spot.  I am so thankful to him because at the very least he took my mind off of quitting for a mile, and it was such a kind gesture!  The brunette was still right there too, and I just wanted her to pass me and get it over with; I knew it was inevitable.

At the mile 12 sign, she did just that.  I willed my legs to pick up and go with her, to sit on her, and the tall man encouraged me, "You can do it, you can go with her", but I didn't have it.  I pushed with all I could, but she pulled further and further away, and step by step I knew it was over.  Spectators were yelling at me to "Go get her, you can catch her!" since we were close, and I kept thinking, "You don't understand, you don't understand what's happening here, she just got me."  The last mile seemed so very long.  I ran a 6:04 final mile (and 5:40 final 0.1), but she ran a 5:48ish last mile to beat me by 16 seconds - she ran 1:22:59 to my 1:23:15.  There was nothing I could do.  So ends my streak of out-kicking 20-somethings!

Clock shot, with 5Kers on the left (the road was divided by cones at least)

Although I was thrilled with third place, obviously I didn't like how it went down.  Kim said that the brunette started with her, so my guess is that she was gunning for the win and when she realized she couldn't hang with Kim she decided to do the least she could do get second (Kim won in 1:18).  I'm assuming the brunette could have run a few minutes faster had she wanted to, but no one was going to have a great time with the headwind so she was content to sit on me.  In hindsight, I thought maybe I should have said something to her, but I didn't want to show weakness.  Once I realized what she was doing, I pretty much knew I was doomed to be passed -- especially considering how drained I felt.  All is fair in racing, and really I guess she ran smarter than I did, but it left a bad taste in my mouth because I wouldn't do that to someone else.  Hindsight is 20/20, but I really thought she was dying when I (barely) passed her, so I am not sure what I could have done except learn from it!

Admittedly, the experience has a tinge of disappointment hanging on it from that piece of it, and also because I feel like if I want to run a 2:45 marathon (which I do!), I should be able to hit a 1:22:30 half even in crappy conditions.  And I guess I should be able to when I get to that fitness point, but I'm under no delusion that I'm to that point right now.  Other elites in the race were 2-5 minutes off their usual times/PRs (the blond would go on to finish in 1:28:58), so being 1:49 off of my PR isn't the end of the world and may actually be normal.  Sometimes I like to think that I'm different and should be able to power through no matter what; but I would never tell any of my friends to expect their best time running half of a race into a 20 mph headwind, so why should I expect that of myself?

So I choose gratefulness!  Gratefulness for third, gratefulness that I did not totally bonk despite racing on tired legs, gratefulness for a half time that only 6 month ago was my dream time, gratefulness for my amazing family members who came to cheer, gratefulness for so many awesome fellow runner friends, and most of all gratefulness that I am healthy enough to travel to races and run 13.1 miles, period.  And a little more perspective:  in 2015 I ran this event as my season goal race, aiming for a 1:26 (at that time my PR was 1:27:17).  We had perfect weather that day, and although I didn't run the course strategically as I should have based on the elevation, I came away with a bittersweet PR of 1:27:08 that was also pretty painful via a positive split.  What I wouldn't have given for a 1:23 that day!  I'm grateful.

Now onto the next!

These girls brightened my day, and Lauriel ran an amazing race!

Bling

Splits - please reference these with the elevation chart, haha!

Results

My dad is an amazing race videographer!  The 5K was finishing on the left and the road was divided by cones, which I am also grateful for.