Never Satisfied Syndrome

Do you, or does someone you love, suffer from Never Satisfied Syndrome?  The primary symptom is always wanting more.  This is often shown by accomplishing a goal and immediately setting a new one, and also by always finding at least one thing that could have been better about any performance.  It is quite common in Type A endurance athletes, and I definitely have a case of it.

I once read an article that said runners like this are hard to coach, so sometimes I feel bad when I send an email to my coach describing that I am thrilled with a PR, and then in subsequent paragraphs tell him what could have been better and what bigger thing I want to work towards next ("I'm so happy, BUT...").  The day after the BMO Mesa-Phoenix Marathon, I was celebrating my PR, but I was also planning bigger goals.  I rode the high of that race for weeks, but at the same time I was very clear on my next big dream goal of 2:44:59 even at the post-race celebration.  Before Phoenix, 2:49 was a pipe dream, but afterward, it wasn't good enough; I decided I could do better.

I know I'm not the only one who operates this way, so how can we strike a balance?!  I think I'm pretty good with being thankful and content, but never satisfied.  I'm pleased with how my training is going, but I know I can do more.  I'm happy with my current PRs, but I think I can go faster.  On one hand, this outlook can diminish accomplishments ("It's never enough!"), but on the other hand I think it's part of what keeps me approaching training with abandon day after day (the other part of that is simply because I love running).

I put 2:45 as the label on my morning alarm some time ago, so it was the first thing I saw when I woke up to run every morning (during my Phoenix build, I had 2:49:59 as the label, but never told anyone).  After showing the alarm to Jon, I changed it to 2:44:59, saying, "Who wants to run 2:45:00 when you could run just 1 second faster so you can say you've run a 2:44 marathon?"  Then we both laughed and he said, "I think you'll take a 2:45:00", followed by more laughter and "Yes, I will, but then I'll spend the subsequent months wondering why I couldn't have found just 1 more second."

It's a slippery slope!  Don't get me wrong -- I will be elated if I hit 2:45:00 on the nose at any point, because that's what it takes; I will also be proud even if 2:49 stand as my forever marathon PR.  But I want to try to do better!  When I started this "work my marathon time down" journey, I genuinely oh-so-naively believed that if I broke 3:00 I would be completely satisfied and wouldn't even need to run another marathon.  We all know how that turned out -- I was ecstatic, but I knew I had a faster one in me.  I became obsessed with 2:49, and was very blessed for that one to work out.  Then in true form, it's been onto the next obsession with 2:44:59!

I told Jon that if I get a qualifying time then I won't run another marathon between running it and the 2020 Trials.  Then we had another good laugh about that; he acknowledged, "If you run a 2:44, you'll then want a 2:42."  At least he knows what he could be in for!  I like to think at some point I will acknowledge I'm at my max, and right now I really do think I would feel that way about 2:44:59.

Thankful and content, but never satisfied -- it's not the worst way to operate, right?  Dream big and then dream bigger!