2:45:01 and Beyond: Ashley Mena

I started following Ashley's journey on social media when we were both training for the Indy Monumental Marathon.  I thought it was really special that both she and her husband were going for the OTQ at Indy.  Later, I admired her dedication and treadmill workouts during Colorado winter weather as she prepared for the Houston Marathon.  Neither Ashley nor I had the race we'd hoped for in the Houston, but the miles we shared during the second half of the race were the best miles of that marathon for me; those miles of camaraderie were a great reminder of everything I love about running even when the marathon doesn't love me back.

I really liked what Ashley said about the controversial Nike shoes (hint: they aren't the reason so many women OTQed!) and I think everyone who has missed a goal will relate to what she has to say, especially those who also missed the OTQ.  She came to running after competing on her college's equestrian team, and also has some of the cutest dog pictures you've ever seen!

Name: Ashley Mena

Age: 27

City/State: Boulder, CO

Occupation: Sales Associate for Go Far Shop (full-time) + Picky Bars Front Range Field Pro Rep 

Hobbies/Interests outside of running:
Horseback riding, snowboarding, hiking with my husband and pup, wine tasting ;)

When did you start chasing the OTQ and what inspired you to try?

"Officially" I started chasing a sub-2:45 in the fall/winter of 2018. I had just run a 2:52 at the Victoria Marathon in October 2018, which put me in a range close enough to 2:45 that I felt comfortable training specifically for it at that point, and believed it was in my wheelhouse. However, a 2020 OTQ was (very secretly) in the back of my mind ever since watching the 2016 Marathon Trials. Even though it was a beautiful day in Michigan (where I'm from and lived at the time) that day, I opted to run my long run inside on the treadmill so I could watch the entire race. My PR at the time was 3:25 and I'd only ever run one marathon, but I had read stories + blogs about women who qualified and never ran in college, ran their first marathons in 4+ hours, qualified after just having kids, etc...I was so inspired by that race and thought if they could do it, why couldn't I? 

Tell us about the races you attempted to OTQ at and the outcomes.

My first attempt was supposed to be at the inaugural Valley 7 Lakes Marathon in April of 2019. I planned to go for it and, at the very least, end up with a nice PR in the mid-high 2:40s, still leaving myself 1-2 chances in the fall to run if I needed to. A low-stress plan mentally for me! However, a foot injury that began in my buildup for the 2018 Victoria Marathon got progressively worse in the months after the race, and I ended up having to take 3 months off running from February-April 2019, followed by 6 weeks of walk/run to build back into running. I then set my sights on the November 2019 Indianapolis Monumental Marathon, but signed up for January's Houston Marathon as well as a backup, in case Indy didn't go well or my training had to be postponed a bit. You never know what race day or marathon training will bring you!

Leading up to Indy 2019, training went about as perfectly as you could hope for, despite a nagging adductor strain that I had been dealing with since my return to running in the spring. It mostly only bothered me on easy runs, and I was able to hit all the workouts I needed to hit in the Indy buildup (without pushing myself too hard). I honestly didn't know how Indy was going to go and whether or not it was going to be an issue, but a half marathon in Denver 3 weeks before left me optimistic - no pain and marathon pace felt easy, at altitude! That half marathon had 20+mph headwinds in the final 5K, which sucked but left me feeling prepared for Indy as we got closer and the weather called for pretty strong headwinds in the final miles.

The week before Indy, I was SO nervous. I put a lot of pressure on myself to hit the OTQ, and honestly thought if I didn't run sub-2:45 my whole world would come crashing down. My husband was there gunning for his trials qualifier as well, and both of our families had made the trip to watch us race. Early that week I developed some calf tightness out of nowhere, but attributed it to "taper crazies" and figured it would work itself out by race day.

I won't go too in-depth into a recap of the race, but basically I felt flat from the start and was in my head a lot, the calf tightness got progressively worse, and I accidentally spilled water on my hamstring which, in the upper 20s/low 30s cold of that day, caused my hamstring to tighten up and hurt (but magically, no adductor pain!). I got to about 17 miles breaking a whole bunch of PRs along the way, but was so mentally drained by that point and afraid of causing further injury or going too deep into the hole if I tried to push further. Coincidentally my husband stopped at 16 miles with his own issues and waited up for me, originally with the hope of pacing me. We jogged the last 9 miles in together, disappointed but feeling like we couldn't have done much else, and finished together in 2:53. I texted my coach after crossing the finish line and told her I didn't want to run Houston.

The day after Indy, I texted my coach again and told her I thought I might want to try one last time. I knew I would regret it if I didn't try again, and Indy had showed me that I belonged in that OTQ pace group, that I absolutely could do it on a day that I felt more like myself. I had learned that the world doesn't end if you don't qualify (duh), and felt like I was in a much better head-space going into this next marathon. My husband, Kyle, didn't want to try again (he's since moved on to bigger goals, keep your eye on him!), so I wanted to run the OTQ at Houston for him. Qualifying for the marathon trials had been his dream since long before we even met, and I wanted to do it so bad for him - he is the one who initially convinced me I could break 2 hours in the half-marathon, convinced me to run a marathon, convinced me I could BQ, believed in me when I wanted to break 3, and didn't think I was crazy for wanting to go for the OTQ...I had to try one more time. 

Despite being someone who historically takes a LONG time to recover from marathons, I was able to bounce back from Indy really quick and within a few weeks was back to running workouts at the same paces I had been before.  My coach gave me a very conservative buildup for Houston 2020, just trying to maintain fitness and adding in lots of cross-training in place of runs.  The adductor injury never went away though, and it started wearing on me more and more mentally as the weeks went on. I was tired of running in pain all the time and not being able to push in workouts - it wasn't getting worse with training, but also hadn't been getting better.

About 2-3 weeks before Houston, a switch flipped in me and a large part of me stopped caring. All I wanted was a break from running and to be healthy again. Everyone told me I was silly for feeling this way, that I had put all this hard work in and would crush 2:45 and shouldn't quit now...but when I told Kyle, he said "okay". He gave me an out. He said we didn't have to go to Houston, that it's okay, that qualifying for the trials isn't end all be all. That he loves me either way. And his response is the one that made me realize part of me still wanted to try. And even though I didn't admit it to anyone, when race week (and race day) arrived I felt calm. Excited. Ready. That I belonged. My body felt GOOD and relaxed and ready to go!

Ultimately, the race didn't go as I hoped. I felt amazing from the start, the pace felt like a jog, I was chatting with friends and having fun, the weather was perfect...I really believed it was going to be my day. I had hoped my adductor pain would magically disappear like it did at Indy, and for the first 10K it had...but about 7 miles in it started nagging a bit and by 9-10 I was in enough pain that I could no longer keep pace or run with a normal stride (despite everything else feeling SO good). I debated dropping, but had come all this way and at this point, didn't care if I ended up more injured at the end - I was taking time off anyway and was in no rush to get back in shape. I decided as long as the pain never reached a point where I couldn't keep running, I would continue on. Sara caught me a bit later (mile 14? 15?) and running a few miles with her and chatting really lifted my spirits and I found myself enjoying the day. I was sad to see her not having the day she wanted, but grateful for a friend. After a porta-stop at 19, I jogged the final 10K in as fast as my adductor would allow me, ultimately finishing in 3:04. 

I burst into tears after crossing the finish line, and it took me a long time to stop. I felt silly for opening my heart up again that week to the "what if?" of running the trials qualifier. Not running an OTQ (or even a PR, which I knew in my heart I would be more than happy with as well if it wasn't my day) hit me a lot harder than I expected it to. There was no more hope of "trying again". Houston was my last chance, and it honestly took me a couple weeks to process it all. I cried every time I saw someone post about their training for the trials. I was truly happy for them, but also believed with 100% of my being that I would be there too. It hurt every time I was reminded that I wouldn't be there.

I felt betrayed by my body, as I have so many times over these past few years despite ultra-conservative runs and buildups. I felt like the last 4 years of dreaming, making sacrifices, pushing through tough workouts, getting to bed on time, doing all the strength/core/PT exercises, eating right, was all for nothing. I felt like I had let down all those who were supporting me and believed in me wholeheartedly through these years as well - my family, friends, coach, work, teammates, Kodiak Cakes, Maurten, NOW Foods...the list goes on. But, by now I've accepted it.

Ultimately, the one who cares the most about your running is YOU. And just because I can't call myself a "2020 Olympic Trials Qualifier" doesn't mean that that's not something I'm capable of, or that I'm not a fast runner...on the contrary, I believe I'm capable of so much more. And I saw glimpses of that through these last 6 months of training and racing. It doesn't always work out on our timeline, and that's okay. By now, I've read so many stories of women who missed the 2016 OTQ who, 4 years later, are the kind of runner I could only DREAM of becoming someday. So who's to say that can't happen to any of us who missed it this time? This is only a piece of my story that's still being written, and I am proud of the runner I've become over the past 4 years.

What did you gain from this journey?

I got faster, faster than I could have ever imagined 4 years ago. And through training, I saw glimpses of the runner I can still someday become. I've learned to slow down and enjoy life, and that it's totally okay to lay on the couch watching movies for an entire day! ;) 

But more than anything, I've gained so many friends - online and in real life. I've celebrated with those who've qualified, and mourned with those who didn't. I was introduced to an incredible community of strong women runners who I so greatly admire and respect, and was given the opportunity to meet so many of them at races this past fall.

A lot of people say "it's the shoes" that led to so many women qualifying for this year's Olympic Trials - but I disagree. The explosion of social media over the years, allowing us to connect and share our wildly different journeys with the world so openly has shown people that "not only can it happen for me, but it can happen for you, too". That is so powerful and it has been so inspiring to watch women's distance running grow so quickly over the few years I have been a part of the sport.

What are you most proud of about your OTQ pursuit?

I am most proud of never giving up. Despite all the times I wanted to. Whether or not I ran the trials qualifier or not, I wanted to look back on this new-to-me "Olympic Cycle" with no regrets. Feeling like I did everything I possibly could to put me in the best position to succeed. And I can honestly look back and say I did that!

Do you have any regrets or things you wish you'd done differently in your OTQ pursuit?

Honestly, I don't. The only thing I sometimes wish I had done differently was pushed on at Indy for a PR, now that I know how Houston turned out. But hindsight is 20/20, and I truly felt like I was making the right decision by jogging it in at Indy to save myself for another shot at Houston. I know I don't recover well from marathons, and knew it was risky to try to run 2 so close together. And with how I was feeling 16 miles in, for all I know I could have tried to push on and bonked so bad that I stumbled across the finish line much slower than the 2:53 I did run. 

I obviously wish I hadn't had to train through an injury (and it's not something I ever recommend people doing), but we approached everything conservatively enough to allow me to do so. I had the support and insight of my coach and health professionals. I feel like I run much better marathons when my training weeks are in the 80s-90s, but with the situation we were presented I had to be okay with 40-50 mile weeks peaking around 60 and don't regret riding that line for my shot at an OTQ. 

What message would you like to send to those following your running pursuits?

Don't ever count yourself out. Your goals aren't big enough if they don't scare you, or seem juuuuust out of your reach. Just because you may not achieve them on your timeline doesn't mean you can't do it!

Tell us something unique about yourself.

I didn't start running until after college - I made a New Years Resolution one year to finish a half marathon and figured I would quit running after that (spoiler alert, that never happens). Before doing a complete 180° on my life and becoming a runner, I grew up horseback-riding and competed collegiately for my college's equestrian team. I still LOVE to ride (I often plan my long run routes to go by my favorite horse farms), and though I don't ride all that often anymore I always try to get out when I'm in a period of downtime from running! I feel so at home and at peace when out on the farm :)

What's next for you?

I am currently on a nice break from running! I don't plan to start again until the adductor injury is healed up, so for now I've been resting, sleeping a lot, strength training, cross training when I feel like it, and trying to become an overall better athlete. Doing all the fun extra-activities I can never do when I'm busy training (horseback riding, snowboarding, hiking with my pup, etc.)...and when I'm back to running, I'm going to take a couple months to just do what feels good and fun that day.

Once I am back normal training, I plan to focus on new things this year - I've never raced a mile, I've never raced on a track (unless you count my one year on the track team in middle school), and I've never trained specifically for the 5K. All distances that honestly scare me. After a summer of speed I'd like to race a fast half in the late fall, slowly building my mileage up throughout the year and then look into crushing a spring marathon in 2021! I'm actually excited about picking ANY marathon I want to run, and not being limited to the sanctioned ones :)