What I Read in 2019

These were my reads for the year!  Yes, I know I need to get a Goodreads account.

Bold titles = a favorite that I recommend.  I was really stingy with these recommendations, or else I'd have bolded 75% of these books!

1. Once Upon a Time There Was You by Elizabeth Berg
2. The Life We Bury by Allen Eskens
3. The Best of Adam Sharp by Graeme Simsion
4. You Will Know Me by Megan Abbott
5. The Man of My Dreams by Curtis Sittenfeld
   
6. Time Keeper by Mitch Albom
7. Fitness Junkie by Lucy Sykes & Jo Piazza
8. Clay Girl by Heather Tucker
9. A Child Called "It" by Dave Pelzer
10. The Reason You're Alive by Matthew Quick
11. Far From the Tree by Robin Benway
12. The Lost Boy by Dave Pelzer
13. Something Like Happy by Eva Woods
14. A Man Named Dave by Dave Pelzer
15. Christmas in Paris by Hazel Gaynor and Heather Webb
16. Winter Street by Elin Hilderbrand
17. Where'd You Go, Bernadette? by Maria Semple
18. Three Things About Elise by Joanna Cannon
19. The Stranger in the Woods by Michael Finkel
20. Surprise Me by Sophie Kinsella 
21. The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold
22. After Anna by Lisa Scottoline
23. Winter Stroll by Elin Hilderbrand
24. Winter Storms by Elin Hilderbrand
25. Winter Solstice by Elin Hilderbrand
26. Look Alive Out There by Sloane Crosley
27. Feared by Lisa Scottoline
28. Joy School by Elizabeth Berg
29. I See Life Through Rosé-Colored Glasses by Lisa Scottoline & Francesca Serritella 
30. My Grandmother Asked Me To Tell You She's Sorry by Fredrik Backman
31. Lost Cat: A True Story of Love, Desperation, & GPS Technology by Caroline Paul
32. Beautiful Day by Elin Hilderbrand
33. Talk Before Sleep by Elizabeth Berg
34. I Might Regret This:  Essays, Drawings, Vulnerabilities, and Other Stuff by Abbi Jacobson
35. The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown
36. Almost Sisters by Joshilyn Jackson
37. South Pole Station by Ashley Shelby
38. There are No Grown-Ups by Pamela Druckerman
39. Us Against You by Fredrick Backman
40. The Next Person You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom
41. My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult
42. The Fever by Megan Abbott
43. An Unacceptable Death by Barbara Seranella
44. Small Great Things by Jodi Picoult
45. The First Phone Call From Heaven by Mitch Albom
46. The Road Home by Richard Paul Evans (this is the final book in the Broken Road series I recommend reading the trilogy in order - I read the other two in 2018 but this one wasn't released until spring 2019)
47. Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty
48. Okay Fine Whatever by Courtenay Hameister
49. Leaving Time by Jodi Picoult
50. Barefoot by Elin Hilderbrand
51. All the Wrong Places by Joy Fielding
52. A Walk in the Woods: Rediscovering America on the Appalachian Trail by Bill Bryson
53. Between the Lines by Jodi Picoult and Samantha Van Leer
54. The Magic Strings of Frankie Presto by Mitch Albom
55. Someone Else's Love Story by Joshilyn Jackson
56. Beyond the Point by Claire Gibson
57. This Could Change Everything by Jill Mansell
58. The Library of Lost and Found by Phaedra Patrick
59. Commonwealth by Ann Patchett
60. Now That You Mention It by Kristan Higgins 
61. Good Luck With That by Kristan Higgins
62.  As Bright as Heaven by Susan Meissner
63. Run by Ann Patchett
64. Meet Me at Beachcomber Bay by Jill Mansell
65. 26 Marathons by Meb Keflezighi
66. Gods in Alabama by Joshilyn Jackson 
67. The Daddy Diaries by Joshua Braff
68. Let Your Mind Run by Deena Kastor 
69. Sisterland by Curtis Sittenfeld
70. Meb for Mortals by Meb Keflezighi
71. The Joy Project by Tony Reinke
72. Night by Elie Wiesel
73. Lottery by Patricia Wood
74. The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins
75. What Made Maddy Run by Kate Fagan
76. Into the Water by Paula Hawkins
77. Summer of '69 by Elin Hilderbrand
78. George by Alex Gino
79. Run to Overcome by Meb Keflezighi
80. Running Home: A Memoir by Katie Arnold 
81. Never Have I Ever by Joshilyn Jackson 
82. Reconstructing Amelia by Kimberly McCreight
83. The Christian Atheist by Craig Groeschel
84. All You Can Ever Know by Nicole Chung
85. This is the Story of a Happy Marriage by Ann Patchett
86. Roar by Stacey Sims
87. Mercy by Jodi Picoult
88. How Bad Do You Want It? by Matt Fitzgerald
89. Strong by Kara Goucher
90. The Happy Runner by David Roche and Megan Roche
91. Double Cross by Jackson Pearce 
92. Counterfeit Gods by Timothy Keller
93.  Riven by Jerry B. Jenkins - top book of 2019!
    
94. The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood 
95. How to Fall in Love with Anyone by Mandy Len Catron
96. Even If I Fall by Abigail Johnson
97. Right Beside You by Mary Monroe
98. French Twist by James Patterson
99. All the Dirty Parts by Daniel Handler
100. The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman
101. The Grip of It by Jac Jemc
102. The Mother-in-Law by Sally Hepworth 
103. Mercy Me by Margaret A. Graham 
104. The Seven or Eight Deaths of Stella Fortuna by Juliet Grames
105. Does This Beach Make Me Look Fat? by Lisa Scottoline and Francesca Serritella

I didn't set a goal of reading a certain number of books, but in November when I realized I was getting close, I decided I wanted to hit or exceed 100!

The Happy Runner

Just a few days after I wrote about how the passion is in the process, I began reading "The Happy Runner" by David & Megan Roche, on the ride to the Indianapolis Monumental Marathon.

I highly recommend this one!  I'm going to be brief and vague, but most of the information in it really lined up with how I think about my running when I'm the happiest with it.  Results are sure great, and there is nothing wrong with having big goals, but if you don't love the process, then in my opinion you're really missing out.  I also think that runners who are the most successful generally love it, because loving it makes us more consistent - and nothing helps your running more than consistent mileage day after day.

The book also has some great training tips, and although not really anything I hadn't read before, it would be very valuable to a newer runner.

So read this and be happier!  :-)  If you're like me, happier at any given fitness level also equals the fastest I can be at that fitness level.

Christmas Cheer Compression

I own an embarrassingly large amount of compression socks, including 4 Christmas pairs that I wanted to get plenty of use out of this month...

These say "Sock it to me, Santa"

Reindeer games

We met at the Brewski Barn to run by El Dorado
Lake, so a photo with the sign was a must

Setting the camera timer & sprinting to climb
up on this sign via the rock on the side was no
easy task!

Festive headbands really completed this one

Reindeer socks on snow

Christmas morning

My niece's unicorn socks on Christmas topped
them all, though!

I also love ugly Christmas sweaters - after Christmas lights run #1

After Christmas lights run #2 - please note
our red & green Noxgear vests too!

Not compression, but my other festive socks

100 miles

For the second and third times, I ran 100+ miles within a 7 day span.  Since these rolling 7s overlap, I'm only counting it as once, but from Dec. 5-11 I ran 100 miles exactly (unbeknownst to me until I pulled up my Strava training log when I started this blog post), and from Dec. 7-13 I ran 100.8 miles (discovered after uploading my second run on Dec. 13).  I guess running an 100 mile week is less intimidating when you don't actually know you're doing it!

Miles with friends are always better!

On Dec. 2 and 3, I was in a taper for the California International Marathon, but when everything changed, I didn't open my training schedule again that week.  I ran whatever I wanted each day, which ended up being a lot since running is my coping mechanism and because I wanted to do tribute runs for my brother for Psalms 24 and 139, 24 and 13.9 milers.  I guess I am thankful I didn't have time to double most days, or I would have probably pushed the envelope too much.

I started back on a training schedule on Dec. 9 (I think we can all agree I need a plan to save me from myself!), and I followed it exactly except I moved a double from Dec. 15 to Dec. 13 due to the weather.  It was 54 degrees and sunny the afternoon of Friday, Dec. 13, and on Sunday, Dec. 15 we were supposed to have an ice storm (which did happen).  Here is what I ran Dec. 5-14 (149 miles in 10 days).  I was at my parent's house/off work Dec. 5-9.

Dec. 5:
AM: 13.9 easy Miles for Mark for Psalm 139 with April on the Red Bud Trail.  This was the first time following Mark's death that I was around someone who wasn't in the middle of it all, and talking with her helped tremendously.
PM: 4.2 easy miles, because we finished all preparations and it was 70 degrees out on Dec. 5.
Extras: 35 minutes glute yoga

Dec. 6:
AM:  8.1 miles with an unstructured fartlek in the final few miles (mostly 2 telephone poles on/2 off just to get my heart pumping and to breathe in the cold air).
Extras:  30 minutes body weight strength and 30 minutes post-run yoga

Dec. 7:
AM:  24 easy Miles for Mark for Psalm 24.  I started this run from my parent's house with my friend Michelle, who came to town for my brother's funeral and stayed the night in order to run most of this with me (isn't she the best?!).  We picked up April around mile 5, and she did 10 miles with us.  I dropped Michelle off at mile 18, and completed the final 6 miles by myself, including running by my brother's grave.  Most of the run was on dirt roads and the pace was a little slower than I usually run, so it wasn't very hard on my body and it was really good for my spirit.

Dec. 8:
AM:  7.1 easy miles. I couldn't decide whether I wanted to run 6 miles or 8 miles, so I ran 7!
PM:  6.2 easy miles with April. I was planning to do 5 miles but she told me if we did 6 we could run by a creepy house and it was definitely worth it!  The owner did not want the rails-to-trails Red Bud Trail behind his property, and put up all kinds of threatening signs plus an owl hanging from a noose in his backyard.  We wanted to take photos but we heard a door open so we didn't stop running.
Extras: 35 minutes yoga for tight hamstrings

Dec. 9:
AM:  7.3 easy miles in 25-35 mph wind, gusting to 45 mph.  Kansas is much flatter than Missouri but is generally also much windier!
PM:  5 easy miles that I stopped to do on my drive home to Missouri before it started sleeting.

Dec. 10:
AM:  10.9 miles with 3 warm up, 8 x 0.5 with 2:00 recovery jogs, 2.1 cool down in 2:53, 2:54, 2:54, 2:55, 2:51, 2:51, 2:53, 2:50.  My goal was to start at tempo pace (5:55ish or 2:57ish) and work down to 5K pace (sub-5:40 or sub-2:50).  I started a little quick and couldn't get under 5:40 (I am sure those two things are related!), but after the week I'd had I was pretty shocked I could even run sub-7:00 pace, let alone sub-6:00.
PM:  4.2 easy at lunch, which was needed on my first day back at work.

Dec. 11:
AM:  9.1 easy miles with my running group.
Extras:  45 minutes strength workout and stretching in the YMCA steam room

Dec. 12:
AM:  8.3 easy miles with Rebecca and Missy, with 8 x 15 second hill sprints towards the end.
PM:  5.1 easy miles at lunch
Extras: 15 minutes hip-opening yoga

Dec. 13:
AM:  8.2 easy
PM:  5.1 easy at lunch in gorgeous weather.
Extras:  15 minutes core work

Dec. 14:
AM:  21 with 3 progressive fast finish.  I couldn't get my fast finish miles down to my goal pace of 6:40, 6:20, 6:00 - I managed a progression but only to 6:38, 6:36, 6:26.  I felt strong but not fast.  After writing this post, I know exactly why!  The same thing happened on a 24 miler at the end of my first ever 100 mile week; I felt strong but not fast.  As much as I want 100 mile weeks to be my sweet spot, my body seems to be telling me they should only be used sparingly at this point.
Extras:  30 minutes post-run yoga

I wrote about my first ever 100 mile week here, and a 96 mile week here.

I am crazy enough to run 100 mile weeks and 20+ milers without training for anything, but currently I may or may not be training for something.  I change my mind often.  Initially after losing my brother and missing CIM, I said I was done with OTQ-chasing and that 2:46:08 could just be my marathon PR forever.  At the urging of my husband and dad, and because I know myself well enough that I know I need a structured running schedule, I asked my coach to train me as if I am going to run Houston on 1/19/20, the last day you can net an OTQ for the 2020 Trials.  In December I have generally felt physically very strong, but I have been completely exhausted emotionally and mentally.  On Dec. 9 when I started back with structured training, I felt there was no way I'd have it in me to run Houston, but since then here and there I have moments of "I'm going to do it", and everyone tells me that Mark would want me to do it if I feel up for it, which I believe is accurate.

So, I might run Houston.  I might not.  My coach said I don't need to decide until the week of.  My marathon PR might stay 2:46 forever, but more likely I will chase a sub-2:45 at some point in the future (at Houston or after).  I trust that God will give me the wisdom to decide when the time is right!

100 miles in the winter yields a lot of laundry

Everything else is trivial

On December 3, everything changed.  While my top priorities are always my faith and family, I am very guilty of getting caught up in the day-to-day.  Little worries like errands that need run, saying the right things at the right times, hitting certain split times on runs, chores that need completed, remembering my to-do list, wondering if I'm eating the right thing or recovering in the best way, etc. get pulled to the forefront.  After my brother was killed in a car accident, all of those things seemed so insignificant.

God gave us a gorgeous sunset tribute

Mark's funeral service was a beautiful tribute to Jesus.  Mark loved God and had read the full Bible multiple times.  He was a member of the church where his funeral was held, where my parents are also members.  Songs included were Amazing Grace, What a Friend We Have in Jesus, and I Can Only Imagine (this one played during a slideshow of photos from Mark's life).  Bible readings were from Isaiah 43:1-3 and John 10:27-30, and their pastor provided a beautiful sermon about how God has us in His hand based on the passage from John.

God gave us a stunning sunset for the graveside service.  Family and friends came from near and far, and many more sent flowers, kind words, and tributes.  My family felt so loved, even in this time of extreme grief.  It goes without saying that this was completely devastating for my parents.  I was fortunate my job was extremely understanding and I was able to leave work as soon as I got the news and stay with my parents a state away for a week.

I decided to honor Mark in the best way I knew how, by running for him.  His favorite Bible passages were Psalms 24 and 139, so on December 5 I ran 13.9 miles for him and on December 7 I ran 24 miles for him.  I had company from wonderful running friends for most of those miles, running only the final 6 of the 24 solo.

Dec. 5 - 13.9 miles with April

The longest duration on feet I've
had for years!

Dec. 7 - 24 miles for me, with Michelle for the first 18 &
April for 10 in the middle (I have no idea what is wrong with
my jacket here but I do NOT have a pregnancy announcement
coming, hah)

Many runners reached out and told me that they were sorry about Mark, and although it probably seemed insignificant, they were also sorry that I missed CIM.  It meant a lot to me that people acknowledged that disappointment, but more than anything I was upset that the world went on as usual after Mark was gone.  I wasn't upset that I couldn't run CIM, I was mad they were still having the race.  I was upset that people were still running races, going to work, going shopping, eating at restaurants, doing all of the every day things that we all do as if the world hadn't changed, when in fact it had changed so drastically.  Of course everything goes on, but when it's your family member who has passed, it can almost feel insulting; how can everything go on as if everything is the same?

Fortunately my family has our faith.  We know Mark is in heaven and that he is rejoicing with Jesus. We know we will all be there some day.  I've been floored by the helpfulness and generosity of family and friends.  I've been overwhelmed by the sheer number of people praying for us, near and far.  Really everything on this earth is trivial when you really stop and think about it, but love and family are pretty special.

Mark's obituary is online here.

White River Half: Winning at recovery (part 3)

Part 1 of my White River race recap is here, and part 2 here.

A PR is a PR, and as Steph Bruce quoted, "You're not allowed to be disappointed with a PR because it's the best you've ever done".  I'm embarrassed to admit that I have been disappointed with PRs, many times - but I have recently come a long way with not letting the disappointment of not meeting a higher expectation overshadow doing something I've never done before!  It's rare (unheard of?) to have everything align perfectly for any of us at any race, so I guess I often walk away thinking, "That was awesome, but if X had gone a little better, or if Y had been different, I could have run Z".  Part of that is what keeps me chasing faster times, though, so I wouldn't change it!  I don't think I ever want to cross a finish line and think, "I'll never run faster than that."

I am thrilled that I ran a PR completely alone.  Running with a pack can help you run up to 10 seconds/mile faster, which I fully believe based on my performances alone vs. in larger races.  It is very difficult to "time trial" a PR at any distance, at least for me.  I will be aiming to average 5:5X pace for a half in a bigger race soon, but I'm pretty proud of how I paced and pushed myself running solo.  Perhaps God didn't want me to push quite as hard being 2 weeks out from CIM!  I didn't feel beat up from the race at all, which I was very thankful for.

The downside is that I really thought I had the 1:19 in the bag, so that was a letdown kind of like when I thought I was winning the Kansas City Half Marathon but actually placed 2nd.  My Strava half time was 1:19:37, so I'm using that as my "confidence" time.  Of course I'll count the official 1:20:18 as my PR, but based on the USATF certified course map, the fact that my Garmin was beeping after the mile markers on the way out then before them on the way back, that the course is famous for measuring right on, and that everyone else had the course measuring around 0.1 long too, I think the turnaround cone was placed slightly too far out (the 2016 race/13.09 distance is on Strava here).  Screwing up turnarounds on out-and-back courses is common, and happened to my friend Liz in one of her goal half marathons, at the Ugly Sweater 5K in 2017, and at the Frisco Half I paced a friend in (with specific race director permission) in 2017, to mention a few others.

In retrospect I've wondered if I could have run 19 seconds faster if I'd have known, as opposed to thinking I was going to for sure make it under 1:20.  I'm really not sure; the mind is a powerful thing, but at the same time I like to think I push myself to my maximum in any given race.  My goal is to run faster this spring and make the debate irrelevant!

A friend suggested that I Sharpie over "female" on my award

Post-race I snarfed down half of a banana, stashed my finishers medal near the finish area, and ran back out on the course to cheer for Amy in the full and to pick up my gloves that I'd dropped during the race.  I'd been comfortable racing in a crop and shorts (plus light gloves through about mile 10), but I was absolutely freezing running 8:00 pace in that attire!  I was so cold that I picked up a random shirt that someone had discarded on the side of the road around mile 12.5 and put it on (my husband thought this was absolutely disgusting, so he has obviously never been that cold!).  I then ran to cheer for Amy looking ridiculous in a random XL cotton Turkey Trot shirt.

When I spotted Amy, she tossed me the shirt and gloves she'd started the race in, since I'd told her I'd take anything she wanted to discard.  I then took off the random throw-away shirt and put on hers!  She looked strong and like she was thoroughly enjoying herself through the half.  She was using it as a training run for the Dopey Challenge so was running a training pace vs. a race pace.  After cheering for her and everyone else while running most of my cool down, I grabbed my finishers medal, ate another banana half on the run, and started the trek back to my car and the awards. 

The final mile of my cool down required running back up the hill that the first mile of the race ran down, which was quite a way to end a 20.7 mile morning with a hard half marathon.  I am not embarrassed to admit that I stopped my watch and walked for a minute about halfway up!  The race provides a shuttle back to the start, but I didn't want to wait for it and no shuttles passed me on my run up so I got back to my car faster my way.  I did remember why in 2016 I said I would take the shuttle next time, though!  Note to self:  take the shuttle next time!

I then got my bag out of my car and hurried inside to change.  I thought I was short on time because the half awards were supposed to be at 10:00 and I got inside at 9:48, so I skipped the shower and rushed back out in order to wait for at least 45 minutes.  This gave me plenty of time to eat, stretch, and foam roll though.  This race has amazing homemade soups and an assortment of other great eats post-race - I was able to nab a 6-inch Subway sandwich along with chicken tortilla soup, and later they brought in BBQ, pizza, wings, salad, baked beans, etc. along with coffee, hot chocolate, and Gatorade to drink.

Awards ceremony

Eventually the award ceremony started and I got my award and watched several other runners I knew pick up theirs.  The female masters and grandmasters Arkansas state records were set in this race, which was awesome!  A lot of Marathon Maniacs were doing the White River Marathon on Saturday plus the Route 66 Marathon on Sunday, which blows my mind.

Not too long after the awards, Amy returned from her 26.2 and was freezing; luckily I had her long sleeve shirt that she'd discarded and I'd worn for awhile with me since I'd changed out of it, so she put it back on (as pictured below), hah!  If we would have thought things through better we'd have put a change of clothes for her in my bag, but we now have a better system for next year.  She ended up going out to the car to get more clothes, and then moved my car closer to the building and onto concrete, which was also nice because I was concerned we would be stuck in the muddy field I'd parked in (many cars had to be pushed out)!

Marathoning is this fun!!!

The marathon awards also got delayed, but we enjoyed taking pictures, socializing, eating more, and using the foam roller/stick/stretching tool station the race had set up.  Amy won her age group in the marathon (running a training run!) so we had to stay for that!  Eventually we got on the road home, stopping at TCBY for frozen yogurt - we had no idea those still existed.

I am in a Jen sandwich here

Awards + all smiles

With Tia, who set an in-state female half
marathon record for masters!

TCBY!

A few things I learned from this:

• Running a half 2 weeks after a full seems to work quite well for me personally.*  
• I did it with the Bass Pro Marathon and the Tulsa Route 66 Half 2010, running PRs in both races.  
• I did it with the Bass Pro Marathon and the White River Half 2016 (this was even more nuts because Bass Pro was 4 weeks after the Prairie Fire Marathon), kind of running PRs in all 3 of those races...Bass Pro is complicated because my pace was faster than at Prairie Fire but I took a wrong turn and ran a good 1:20 extra, so my official time was not a PR.
• And now I did it with the Indy Monumental Marathon and the White River Half 2019, with PRs in both.  
• Also related, I did the Chisholm Trail Marathon and the Rock the Parkway Half 2019 three weeks apart, with Rock the Parkway being my first solid post-injury performance.  
• I also did the Dallas Marathon and the Run for the Ranch Half 2015 with 6 days between, running a PR at Dallas and my second best half at that time on a course that isn't fast (just to clarify, I only did that because I won a free entry to that local half, but it ended up being super fun!).
• Not doing everything "perfect" is a lot more enjoyable, and the passion is in the pursuit, AND I think I run best when I'm the happiest.
• I haven't been able to run a 2:45, but I think I'm winning at recovery!

*Just because I've had success with this strategy doesn't mean it's right for everyone, or for me every time.  My biggest indicator that I'm good to race again soon after a marathon is because I'm dying to - I want to do it so badly!  After I ran Houston 2018, I had NO desire to race again for a couple of months, so I didn't.  We are all an experiment of one, after all.

"Do you not know that in a race all runners run, but only one gets the prize?  Run in such a way as to get the prize." - 1 Corinthians 9:24 

White River Half Marathon: Beating all of the boys is fun (part 2)

Part 1 of my White River race recap is here.

The first mile of this race contains a significant downhill, and then the course follows a curvy road along the river out and back 6.05ish miles.  My plan was to start at my goal pace, 6:05, which would be like 6:25 effort (per Strava's grade adjusted pace) on mile one, making it kind of a "free" mile.  Last time I ran the race, many runners went out ridiculously fast on the downhill, so I expected that again.  I eased out and while I felt like I was barely moving, there were only 5 men ahead of me, so I checked my pace to ensure I wasn't going too fast.  It was 6:24 at that time, so I let myself pick up the cadence, making it slightly more comfortable, and moving up a couple of positions.  I really felt like I had the brakes on through the whole downhill, but I came through in 5:55.  I will never run a Revel race where every mile drops that much - ouch.  Around mile 1 you pass nearby the finish line, then run the same road out and back, which is one reason I love this course (no turning except one hairpin turnaround and in the final 100 meters or so).  The other reason is that it is super flat from mile 1 to the finish.

There were 3 races that started together:  a 5K, the half marathon, and a full marathon, so I didn't know which race the 3 men ahead of me were in, but I was gaining on 2 of them pretty rapidly during mile 2.  Those 2 turned at the 5K turn around, moving me up to second runner overall.  The first male was significantly ahead of me (from Strava I saw he ran a 5:19 first mile), but I focused on him and hoped I could gradually pull him in.  Whether he was in the half or full didn't matter at that point, because the full runners would run the half course twice.

This was in mile 1, and I wasn't actually leading the race at
this point but I think the police car thought the 3 men ahead of
me were all in the 5K

The wind was only 9 mph per weather.com, but it sure felt stronger by the river!  I focused on settling into half marathon effort and kept telling myself that I would work my way up to the man ahead of me and draft off him.  I wanted to keep my average pace around 6:05 in order to finish in 1:19, and I was staying right around where I wanted to be.  I looked at each mile split because it felt more like a workout than a race, running alone.  I felt fine, but I had to focus to keep my pace where I wanted it, in contrast to my final long run workout 2 weeks before Indy when I ran 10 miles at 6:02 pace and had to keep myself from running too fast (I was supposed to run that a tad slower that day and was hoping to feel that good for this race).  The pace felt do-able, but not as easy as I hoped it would feel, and I drifted to 6:10ish if I lost focus.

When I signed up for the race, I knew that there was a possibility I'd end up running it solo, so I'd been mentally prepared for that and also confident that I could "time trial" a half PR on this course on a decent day.  I used other things to help me along:  looking towards the man ahead of me, using the energy from the early start marathoners I passed (many of whom were beyond sweet and encouraging!), pumping myself up when the aid station volunteers told me "Go get that guy, girl, you're strong!".  On the way out, my Garmin was beeping after each mile marker, which is pretty typical, and I knew the last time I ran this race it measured 13.09, so expected to be really close to or just under a 13.11 reading on my watch (it is also famously adored in our area for measuring exactly at 13.1).  Breaking 1:20 takes 6:06 average pace, so I thought I was good as long as I maintained 6:05 or under.

A bit after mile 6, I caught the man.  This excited me briefly, until I realized that I wasn't going to be able to draft off him or work with him after all; he was slowing (he would go on to finish in 1:26).  I encouraged him as I passed and then I led through the U turn that was around mile 7.

Since the course is mostly out and back, you get to see everyone else in the races no matter what pace you're running, which is really fun!  Behind the man I'd passed, I saw Chelsea with a pack of men around her, Eliud Kipchoge Breaking-2 style.  They were not very far behind me, and my initial thought was, "Well, crap, she has a whole entourage to help her and I'm fighting this stupid wind by myself", but I quickly changed that to, "I'm strong enough to do it on my own" and I pressed on towards my pace goals.  For several miles I passed the rest of the field running the opposite direction.  I knew many people running the race, and their encouragement helped me immensely.  Many runners I didn't know cheered for me extra hard, being a women in the overall lead, and the water station volunteers who'd seen me in second overall on the way out were particularly excited that I'd taken the lead!

The 6ish miles of the course going out feel like decline, but running the opposite direction on the same road also feels like decline!  Strava tells me it's just flat both ways, and apparently I just don't run anything flat because a lot of Indy also felt like decline.  After the first time I ran this race I told everyone that the course was downhill in both directions (in contrast to our local Frisco trail, which is uphill in both directions!).  However, in 2019, it also felt like it was against the wind in both directions!  I thought we'd get a reprieve after the first half, but I think with it being by the river and the road winding, it wasn't as simple as headwind going out and tailwind coming back.  Amy agreed that it was downhill both ways but against the wind both ways.  I guess that evens out, eh?

All things considering, I felt good on the way back - not amazing I'm-going-to-crush-the-world and drastically exceed my expectations, but strong and like I could maintain through the end.  My Garmin was beeping before the mile markers on the way back, but I wasn't worried about that at all since I'd gotten 13.09 on the course in 2016, rarely are any mile markers in a race like this exactly right, and sometimes it would beep just before and others significantly before (just like on the way out, it would sometimes been just after and others 30+ seconds after).  I pretended that I was running a workout and that my coach had told me to average 6:05 or faster for 13.1 miles.  I had a few splits drift slightly, with 7 at 6:07, 8 at 6:08, and 9 at 6:10.  I didn't like this trend and knew that I needed to keep my pace down to run 1:19, but I focused and felt good when I saw 6:03 for mile 10.

Solo with 0.2 to go

I told myself that I "just" needed to run under 19:00 for the final 5K and I'd have it (in hindsight this is kind of nuts because it wasn't long ago I could barely break 19 in an open 5K)!  I grabbed a cup of Tailwind at the mile 10 aid station and did a little swish and spit.  I checked my pace more often than usual, seeing 6:0X steadily.  Mile 11 and 12 were both 6:04, and my average pace was 6:05 at that time.  I was hurting, but I believed I could run another mile at that pace.  I thought, "I'm going to get that 1:19, and I did it all by myself!"  I pushed with everything I could, with mile 13 coming in at 5:59, although I did not look at that split until after the race because I was running with all I had to the end.  The finish is slightly off the main road in a little curvy cul-de-sac, making it difficult to get a great final finishing sprint.  Also, the finishing clock isn't visible until the final 10 seconds or so, and when I saw it the reading was over 1:20.  It was really fun to win the race outright, and I was smiling through the finish line - and even remembered not to stop my watch immediately!  I stopped my Garmin at 1:20:20 at 13.22 miles and my official chip time was 1:20:18.

I am happy with this finishing shot

My race recap continues with part 3 here.

Splits

Official

White River Half Marathon: Sometimes being nuts pays off, the sequel (part 1)

The short: 

When a race really excites me, I just know it's a good idea!  Once I brought up the possibility of racing the White River Half 2 weeks after the Indy Monumental Marathon and 2 weeks before the California International Marathon, I became almost giddy with excitement about the option.  My coach and I talked it over, and since I recover well and would be doing my biggest workout of this very abbreviated training cycle on November 24 anyway, we decided to go for it!  I ended up winning the race outright (men and women), and running a small half PR of 1:20:18 (although I'm unofficially counting my Strava time of 1:19:37 - details in the longer recap).  I ran alone the entire race, so it wasn't unlike a long workout, and I was proud of my pacing and how I pushed myself without anyone to work with.  I also had the best girls' trip to the race with my dear friend Amy!

Official results are here (direct link to mine).
My Strava activity is here.

With Amy at packet pick-up

The long:

Ever since I ran the White River Half Marathon in 2016, I've been eager to return to the race.  In 2017 I was obsessed with doing everything absolutely perfect en route to CIM, so when my coach at that time told me that racing a half two weeks before a full wasn't ideal, I crossed it off my schedule.  In 2018 I was injured at the time of the event.  This year my friend Amy expressed interest in running the race, and I told her that if I got the OTQ at Indy I'd run it as well, but if I didn't I was going to switch my focus to CIM.

After missing the OTQ at Indy, I took White River off the table, but as my recovery went well I started itching to bring it back up.  Amy still wanted to go, and my coach and I brainstormed about it together and decided it was right for me!  Every marathon recovery is different, and every person is different, but we really looked at how I had no trouble training right through the Indy Women's Half (I ran 21 miles on race day, then 14 miles the day after and felt great doing all of it) and at how quickly I'd bounced back after all of my long workouts when making this decision, plus I've had success with similar turnarounds in the past.  In addition, the fact that I was jumping out of my skin to run it said a lot.

Amy decided to run the full marathon so she wanted to drive the 1:45 down to the race the evening before.  We picked up our packets and located our hotel about 10 minutes away from the small town the race started in, Cotter, Arkansas.  The trip held many memories and inside jokes, and I'm sure glad that God connected us through our shared love of running.

We travel light, bahaha! This is Amy's luggage alone.

Race morning we arrived around 6:20 a.m. for the 7:00 a.m. start, then had to wait in a line of vehicles to park.  The latest I wanted to start my warm up was 6:30 a.m., and I ended up getting started at 6:32 a.m., only because I parked in a very muddy field to avoid waiting any longer.  I was worried my car would get stuck but figured I'd deal with that later!  Note to self: arrive earlier next year.

Pink power for me, & Lulu power for Amy

I ran a 2 mile warm up with a little uptempo running followed by a few strides.  I didn't have much extra time, so hurriedly changed into my race shoes and discarded my jacket and pants at the car.  I made my way to the starting area, where a woman approached me and asked if I was Tia's friend, to which I replied, "Yes - you must be Chelsea!"  I think I was identifiable by my racing crop, as Chelsea was by her bun huggers!  Tia was also running the race and I'd asked her if she knew of anyone aiming for about 6:00 pace, since she knows most every runner in Arkansas.  She'd told me that Chelsea was aiming for about 6:15.  I talked with Chelsea for a few minutes and she told me 6:15 was her goal and she'd brought several men to pace her.

It was past 7:00 a.m. with no indication the race start was imminent when they announced that the start was delayed until 7:15 a.m.  I was not disappointed with this since my warm up had felt rushed, so I was able to do drills, jog more, and pee again before we started 15 minutes late.

My race recap continues with part 2 here.

Indy was Monumental: Mental prep work

I did more mental preparation for Indy than I have before any other marathon.

Some podcasts I found particularly beneficial were:
A Pre-Race Pep Talk - this was my favorite!
Keys to Enduring Pain in Training and Racing
Mental Tips and Tricks for Race Day

I read the following books during race week:
How Bad Do You Want It? by Matt Fitzgerald
Strong by Kara Goucher
The Happy Runner by David Roche and Megan Roche
My top recommended book for the mental side of running is Deena Kastor's Let Your Mind Run: A Memoir of Thinking My Way to Victory, though, so prioritize that one!

I wrote my goals on my mirror.  I told myself often:  "I am a sub-2:45 marathoner."

I watched the course tour video and visualized different points in the race.

I thought about my "whys":  because God gave me this passion and talent for a reason, to share my faith, because I love it, to be part of this amazing time in women's marathoning, to prove to myself that I can do it, to be an example of persistence, to show my daughter that you don't stop trying when you don't accomplish a goal quickly, to help others know they can do more than they think they can.

During the rough parts of the final miles I used every strategy I could.  My favorites were thinking about what feels good, remembering that my body can do more than my mind wants to let it, and running the moment I was in.

My mantra

I think I've always been good at pushing myself - racing hurts so good! - but I was at a really good psychological point for this race.  I learned many things that I'll carry forward from here, and hopefully some of them can help you as well!

Indy was Monumental: I've still got a lot of fight left in me

I've experienced a lot of feelings over this race.  Elation about a PR in windy conditions, thankful for the opportunity to try, disappointment because for the fourth time I wasn't fast enough, fury about the control this arbitrary time standard has over me, frustration that my body just couldn't run 2.2 more miles at 6:12 pace, heartbreak because something I tried for so hard is still outside of my reach, and beyond thankful to be healthy.  I previously wrote that it's difficult to be unhappy with a 2:47 marathon, but it's also difficult to be content with a 2:47 marathon.  Guess what - it's even more difficult to be unhappy with a low 2:46 marathon, and more difficult to be satisfied with one.

When I entered the finish chute at Indy, I saw women who'd finished just 70 seconds before me wrapped in American flags, and that picture best exemplifies how my heart hurt at times during the week following the race.  I'm absolutely thrilled for all of the women who've achieved the standard, especially those who I know personally, and I am proud to be part of such a strong time in U.S. women's marathoning. 

When I read Meb's book, something that really stood out to me is his note that God expected him to use the tools He gave him to reach his goals, but the final results are up to Him.  I am giving this goal everything I have, but I can have contentment, regardless of success, because of Christ.  I certainly understand the disappointment that comes with coming up short, though, so whatever your 2:45:00 is, I pray that you get it.
 
While I believe the standard is in me, I greatly debated about whether or not I would try another time within the qualifying window that closes 1/19/20.  Initially there was no question; I decided I was running the California International Marathon (CIM) to go for it before I even left the Indy finishing chute.  I texted my coach about trying again right after I explained my race to her.  I was absolutely adamant that my PR would not be 2:46:08 at the end of 2019.

Two days post-race, I started getting really emotional about this miss.  I also realized that I wasn't sure if I could handle going to CIM and not getting the standard.  I'm still not sure I'll handle that well if it happens, but I realized that always wondering "what if" would be worse.  Worst case scenario:  I go to CIM and blow up, and know that I went down fighting.  I know I have it in me, some day, somehow.  If positive thinking could get it for me, I'd have it; I told myself for months that I was doing it at Indy so that there was no need to plan anything else; that I am a sub-2:45 marathoner.  I guess I'm going to pull that all back out and tell myself that I'm doing it at CIM...

You know what they say, fifth time's a charm!

Yes, I know that no one actually says that.  :-)

But maybe on December 8 I will.

And if I don't, I got a blessed journey out of this goal and regret nothing!

I haven't erased this yet

Indy was Monumental: Elite stories

I was fortunate to receive an elite entry into the CNO Indianapolis Monumental Marathon.  From my experience, it is very clear this race knows how to host elite athletes and I was pleased with all aspects of the race (and we all know I am not easy to please, hah!).

I received very detailed information about elite perks by email during race week, including specific maps of an elite parking area, the meeting where the elite meeting would be held near the expo, and the elite warm up area.  I also received information on logistics regarding bottles and race weekend timelines.

On Friday evening I attended the elite meeting and bottle drop, where picking up my race packet was super easy (we didn't have to go to the main expo at all if we didn't want to, which I appreciated even though I still went for a few minutes).  The elite field was huge - 62 women and 60 men in the marathon alone (plus half marathoners and 5Kers)!

The elite coordinator explained how to locate our bottles during the race very specifically, and they'd even set up an example table of what the fluid stations would look like.  The elite tables were placed in the middle of the road, with women's bottles on the left side and men's on the right.  We didn't have to move to the side of the course to get our bottles (they then moved the tables off the course when 3 hour pacer came by to clear the course).  We were all assigned a specific bottle table and position.  Mine was table 7, bottle 3, which meant my bottle was always on the 7th table, which was marked with a huge "7" sign, third position.  Each table had 6 bottles with a lot of space between, and it was extremely easy to find my bottle every time.

My little bottles work perfectly for me!

At the meeting, they also gave us information about the OTQ pace groups, which were provided for both the men's and women's marathons and for the women's half marathon (the men's half field had 12 men seeded at the qualifying time and they thought having more people in there running that fast of a pace would be a hindrance...or maybe they just couldn't find anyone who could run that fast!).  Another thing I enjoyed about the meeting was meeting up with several friends, many of whom I'd connected with on social media or through mutual friends in my 2:45 pursuit but hadn't met face-to-face.

The race gave us an large indoor warm up area right by the start/finish, which was really great on the cold morning we ended up with.  We had indoor bathrooms and enough room to jog around and do drills in the halls of the large government building we were in.  We also were allowed to leave bags and anything we wanted after the race in the room set up for us.  They had some pre-race food and drinks available, although I don't think anyone touched it until after the race.

15 minutes before the start they walked us all out to the line, where we were able to continue moving and warming up out on the first few blocks of course.  They had several volunteers with garbage bags who took our warm-up clothes at the last minute, which I really appreciated!  They then took our gear back to the elite room and spread it all out so you could find it after the race; the main thing I learned from this is that everyone had black warm up pants, hah.

After the finish, we were able to go right back into the warm building and use the bathroom, change, eat, etc.  It was also a great opportunity to check in with how our friends in the field did in the race, with everyone being in the central location!

The race offered hotel accommodations for the really fast elites (I think it took 2:37 for a female marathoner), prize money for the top 5 finishers, and performance bonuses for anyone who achieved the OTQ standard.  It was very clear that the coordinators knew what they were doing, and I would certainly go back to this race and recommend it for anyone looking for a fast marathon!

Late addition:  This is a great podcast about another elite's experience at the race.

Indy was Monumental: Post-race & splits

I experienced the whole gamut of human emotions over this one, from endorphins to tears.  After the dust settled, though, I feel good knowing I gave my race goal everything I had, and nothing could compare to what I've gained through this entire twisty turny journey.  I know that God is using my repeated OTQ misses for a bigger purpose, and I have certainly developed more as a person than I would have if I'd attained the standard the first time I tried.  I trust He has me just where I'm supposed to be, and because of Him I also know that I am always enough - and so are you!

The biggest event of Nov. 9 was my dad's birthday!
How blessed am I that he spent it out in the cold
watching my marathon followed by a 7 hour car
ride home?!

I mentioned in my race recap that my Garmin was wonky for some of the race due to underpasses and tall buildings, so I didn't have my actual mile splits.  Well, as luck would have it, one of the women I was running with took manual splits at the mile markers, and I was pretty much right next to her her through mile 18, so I now have those.  I didn't have them when I wrote the initial recap, so I thought I'd add them here.

6:29

6:15

6:15

6:14

6:12

6:12

6:12

6:15

12:33 (she missed a marker, so 6:16 average for these 2)

6:10

6:18

6:16

6:17

6:16

6:20

6:17

6:22

Then my Garmin splits from there on (not quite as accurate but probably close) were:

6:17

6:18

6:25

6:31

6:22

6:47

6:43

(final "kick" 6:42)

Needed 6:17 from 30K on; ran 6:26...

The field as a whole was amazing - easy to navigate results are here.  22 women ran under 2:45:00 (one ran 2:45:03 and I really feel for her!), 38 women ran under 2:50, and 79 women went sub-3:00. A sub-3:00 would win most marathons, so this is truly astounding.  How strong is women's marathoning right now?!