I’ve started and deleted this post several times. I loved this marathon training cycle and went into the Twin Cities Marathon feeling that I didn’t even need to run the marathon to be satisfied. I then finished TCM thinking that I’d have definitely been happier if I had not run it! I thought I’d had bad marathons before – such as
the first time I tried to break 3:00 and ran 3:01,
the times I tried to OTQ and ran 2:46-2:49, or
the time a wrong turn cost me a PR - but I've kind of felt like 2022 said, “You thought
those were bad? I’ll show you!”
The short:
My training indicated that I was ready to run 6:20-6:30 pace at TCM. I wanted to start conservatively, which I did at around 6:40 pace for the first 3 miles and then moved closer to 6:30 until about 10. My effort level felt correct for the beginning of a marathon, the endorphins started flowing, and I began feeling confident about having a good day. Around mile 10, both of my legs began feeling clumsy and uncoordinated – particularly not ideal in Alphaflys! The unbalanced sensation got progressively worse and my pace got progressively slower, until I rallied a little in the final half mile when another masters female nearly passed me. I ended up finishing in 3:06:50. The bright spot was that I managed to get on the female masters podium in 3rd, but I was pretty disappointed in my performance. The time wasn’t what I trained for, but the worst part was that I felt really betrayed by my body and had no explanation of why.
My race results are
here, including videos of my finish at the bottom.
My dad's video of the finish is
here.
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| We finished by the beautiful capitol building |
The long:Twin Cities was a last-minute pivot, when the Milwaukee Marathon cancelled about 3 weeks before race day. Since my training had been targeted at October 2, I wanted to find an alternative race the same weekend, and the Twin Cities organizers were kind enough to let me into the professional field of the already full race. I greatly appreciated this gesture and the opportunity to run a marathon as planned, and I don’t want my notes about my disappointment to take away from that. The professional perks I received were super helpful (I wrote
a separate post about those awesome experiences), the race as a whole was very well-run, and the course was beautiful and lined with cheering spectators.
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| You can see me at the back of the pro field at the start |
I was somewhat nervous about the long climb near the end of the race, and the fact that the point-to-point course gained about 100 ft more in elevation than it lost. It was also warmer than I’d like at high-50s/low-60s, so I wanted to keep my effort and pace extra controlled at the start. Because of this I checked my splits for the first 3 miles, and thought the 6:39, 6:46 (uphill), and 6:28 (downhill) I ran were pretty perfect. I settled into 6:30ish effort from there and everything felt great. I generally race best by feel, and I didn’t look at my watch for the rest of the day.
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| Of course I didn't buy the pics! |
Around mile 10, I kind of tripped over my own feet. I thought it was just a fluke, the uneven road, or the huge soles on my Alphaflys initially, but I continued to have some clumsy feelings. I’d experienced some of the same on my shake out run the day before, but figured it was just from the long car ride and ignored it.
I could tell I was slowing down between mile 10 and the half because I started getting passed. I reminded myself that this bad patch could end any time, and then I would get back on pace. The half point had a clock, and I saw 1:27:58 on it and told myself, “you can do that again!”. Although I didn’t have a specific time goal for this race, I wanted to pace well and finish strong, and be under 3:00.
I did everything I could think of to stay engaged and positive, including trying to latch onto people who passed me, keying off the energy of the spectators, using the downhills, positive self-talk, smiling, caffeine gels, etc. My legs felt kind of like they do when I haven’t run for a long time – you know that first run after injury when everything feels sloppy? I stumbled several times but was always able to catch myself, which I was thankful for.
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| Just keep smiling... |
The miles from about halfway through mile 20 were the most demoralizing of the race, because I was getting passed almost constantly. The 3:00 group went by me around mile 17, and although I hadn't been able to hang onto anyone else, I tried even harder to hang onto them, but my body wouldn’t respond. I made peace with not going sub-3, and with just doing what I could and finishing. I didn't want another poor marathon performance, but I wanted a DNF even less. Even though I was getting passed left and right, it was mostly by men, and the hope that I was possibly in a masters female podium position helped keep me going.
Around mile 20, the course begins a long, mostly gradual, but nearly constant climb. By the time I got to it, so much had already gone wrong that it didn’t even matter, but surprisingly from 20 to the finish I began passing people. It wasn't because I was speeding up; there are a lot more people bonking at 3:00-3:10 than in the 2:40s! Encouraging those I passed helped me continue on. Those 3 miles would have been tough to run fast on; even though they were not steep, the incline was just so long without respite and everyone was on already fatigued legs. On a good day I could have minimized the time lost, but that course would be difficult to negative split on!
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| Final kick |
I was relieved to finish the worst of the climbs, though there were still hills in the next couple of miles. Since halfway I’d been counting down to mile 25 (e.g., at mile 15 I told myself “only 10 miles left!”) because I knew the final mile had a lot of downhill. As I started down the final half mile, a woman who looked like she was in masters passed me. I was able to pick it up and outkick her; I was determined not to give up a place. Her chip time was faster than mine, but my gun time was faster than hers – fortunately prize money goes by gun time! Though I'm thankful I had that kick, it also bothered me; why could I do that when I couldn't run any better for the 16 miles before then?!
The experience of this event was great. My Minnesota trip with my parents was amazing. The actual race was disappointing and upsetting. I’m thankful for another marathon finish, and any day any of us can complete a marathon is a good day – but I feel really betrayed by my body. I am usually so good at pacing by feel, but now I feel like I can’t trust how I feel (but on the other hand, that went great in all of my 2022 races that were not marathons!). I used to be able to finish marathons feeling super strong, but I have completely bombed both of my 2022 marathons. My marathon split of my
gravel 50k remains my fastest marathon this year, which feels pretty sad. I used to see people have fantastic training cycles then significantly underperform in the marathon and wonder, "How could that happen?" Well, now I know!
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| Finish tent |
My training for TCM wasn’t that of a 3:06 marathoner, but on October 2 that was what I was. Although I am thankful I got to run the race, I am also pretty confident I’d feel far better about my running if I hadn’t run it! Why did my body respond so differently in this race than it had in all of my long training runs? Why couldn't I
make myself run better? Why have all of my 2022 races gone fine except for my marathons? Why can't I do what I used to do in the marathon this year? Of course, there was no way to know how it would go in advance. I’ve been reflecting back on all of my long run workouts that went well and that I finished strong – including a 6:13 mile at the end of my 10 miles at 7:30 + 10 miles at 6:30 business, which was the day
I ran 24 miles at 5 a.m. at the end of 3 x 100 mile weeks at basically the same pace I ran TCM. I wanted to feel strong in the final 10k of TCM – like I did at
Tobacco Road, at
Phoenix, at
Grandma’s 2018. Even other marathons that I “blew up” slightly at the end like
CIM,
Indy, and
Grandma’s 2019 I didn’t
really blow up compared to this (I mean, I even ran a 2:58 wheezing at
Houston 2020). It’s frustrating! If you train with me, follow me on
Strava, or read my monthly recaps on here, you know how consistent I am with training. Yes, I absolutely love training, but when you follow a solid schedule exactly and feel great doing it, you expect a reasonably good race performance out of it.
I basically just want to marathon train without actually racing a marathon now. That may sound crazy, but sign me up for it! I love running, but I'm not too fond of racing right now. I love the day-to-day of marathon training, but the actual events are raining on my parade this year. For several years I thought it would be a long time before I'd ever run another marathon over 3:00; now I feel like I'll never run another under 3:00. One bad marathon is a fluke; two is a pattern.
“Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” - Romans 5:3-5
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I heard a lot of "Go 123" cheers + my
last name was not correct... |
Late addition:
Update on what happened during the race: diagnosis,
vestibular balance disorder. When tested for it I did several exercises that a person with a fully functioning vestibular system can do without getting dizzy, and I got so dizzy I was nauseous. I feel immensely better having a label and plan of attack for this.
Outtakes (some bits I kept from the posts I deleted):It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...
Bests:
Worsts:
- Weird clumsy, uncoordinated sensations in my legs starting around mile 10 and progressively worsening
- My training wasn't that of a 3:06 marathoner
- Over 6 minutes slower than my 2022 gravel 50k marathon split
- Two disappointing marathons in a row, i.e., all of my 2022 marathons
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A perk of marathon training without racing would be that I'd never have to taper, right??
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The joy is in the journey until a crap race sucks the fun out of it.
