Indy Women's Half: Thankful, but not satisfied

The Short:
I ran a bright, shiny new half marathon PR of 1:20:50 under circumstances that were not nearly as ideal as those I had for my previous PR of 1:21:26.  I walked away from this race feeling like I'd nailed one of my best workouts ever, but not exactly like I'd raced or PRed (you'll have to read The Long for an explanation of why).  However, the more I analyze this race the happier I become with it.  I placed 5th overall, netted some cash, and best of all enjoyed an amazing weekend trip to Indianapolis with my parents. 

Official results can be found here.

Sunny clock shot courtesy of my mama

The Long:
I looked at a lot of fall halves trying to find the "perfect" goal race before deciding that none were.  The major things I was looking for were: A) fitting into my schedule (marathon training and non-running), B) likelihood of good weather, C) straight course/minimal turns, D) flat course, E) competitive field, and F) within driving distance.  The Indianapolis Women's Half fit the bill on 5 of the 6, only missing requirement C), but the more courses I looked at the more I realized how hard it is to find one as nice as the White River half (which, alas, does not meet requirement A) this year since it is only 2 weeks before my goal marathon).

So I landed on Indy, and was accepted as an elite entrant and honored as one of the "5 Women to Watch" in the race.  The race organizers were amazing and I was fortunate to be a part of this event.  The race was on a Saturday, so I made the trip to Indy on Friday with my parents.  Since I won't pull Albani out of school for a race, she and Jon weren't able to come.  I treasure my time with my parents so greatly, which also meant that even if I bombed the race, it would be worth going to!  I never got nervous for this race, and I think that was big part of why.

From the event program

Expo fun

More expo fun

I was quite excited for this checkpoint in my marathon training cycle.  After 10 consecutive weeks of mileage in the 60s plus 2 weeks with mileage in the 70s, I had a 50 mile week the week of this race.  While I may not have been completely rested since I ran 20 miles one week before the event, I was the most rested I'd been in months, and I also had the opportunity to race in NOT 70-80* with 100% humidity for the first time in months!  I felt like a new woman!

Feeling like a new woman in the hotel room pre-race

Based on the "5 Women to Watch" and a handful of other elite entrants, I expected to have several woman right around my pace.  I lined up on the starting line feeling very relaxed and ready to give it a go.  I kept reminding myself to trust my training and to trust God, and to go get what I'd trained for!  Nothing is ever guaranteed in these long races, but fretting about it never helps.  I planned to aim to keep my pace at 6:05-6:10.

I'm looking weird on the starting line as per usual

At the gun, a lead pack eased out, and a check of my Garmin around a quarter of a mile in showed 6:05 pace as I settled in right behind the leaders. For a brief moment, I thought, "Perfect!  Maybe this will be the 6:05 pace pack!  Couldn't be better!"  After that brief moment, I could feel 5 of the girls accelerating (the 2 others who were not accelerating were 2 I expected to drop off before the mile at 6:05 pace).  I couldn't decide; should I risk going through the first mile in 5:55-6:00 for the benefit of running with the pack, or should I stick to my plan?  I let them go and stuck to my pace.  I knew that if they could maintain sub-6:00 pace, I could not compete with them, and if that was too fast for them, they would come back.

When 6:05 pace was briefly happening

The 5 quickly pulled away from me, and at the mile I gauged them as over 20 seconds ahead of me (I later spoke to one who said they went through in 5:45).  I came through the mile in 6:08, right where I wanted to be, but so alone.  I felt antsy during mile 2, and really had to hold myself back because I wanted to chase the leaders, and kept questioning my decision about not going with them.  However, the gap grew and I settled into complete no man's (no woman's?) land.  Somehow I could feel that no one was close behind me.  With the turns on the course, I simply couldn't see anyone.  I had to start paying attention to the course markings/signs, which the event did a really good job with (including course marshals at all turns), but which just takes extra work.

In regards to the course markings, in many places the cones on the road were set up in a way that did not allow you to run the tangents on turns and curves.  When a course is certified, it is measured on the tangents of the road, but I noticed early on that many of the tangents were blocked.  I knew I was not running the shortest route, but I didn't want to risk disqualification by going outside of the cones (and in some places the tangent was occupied by an aid station in the road, which I clearly could not go through).  I was frustrated about this early on because I knew I was picking up extra distance, and there was nothing I could do about it.  We all know I dislike anything out of my control!

Between miles 4-5, I picked up a cyclist escort.  I believe there were 10 cyclists, for the prize money positions, but I am not sure why they didn't pick up with the runners until that far into the race.  I sure needed my guy earlier!  Having him was a great help in regards to navigating the course, but I think the cyclists were probably told not to aid the runners (as they should be), so it wasn't helpful pacing-wise.  I was extremely thankful to have him to keep me on course though - no more thinking about markings and signs!

Between about 5.5 and 7.5, the course doubled back on itself, so I could see the runners ahead of and behind me.  The leading 4 ladies were still pretty closely bunched when I saw them, significantly ahead of me (about 1:30).  There had been 5 women ahead of me when I lost sight of them, but one of them was in the 5K (I hadn't been able to see the 5K turn off, but confirmed the 5K winner from the bib number in the photo above).  At the time I thought maybe someone dropped out or stopped in a porta-potty, but regardless I knew I was in 5th at that point, with little chance of moving up.  As I turned the other direction, I saw that 6th was farther behind me than I was trailing the leaders, so I also had little chance of being caught.  I checked my watch at the 6.55 mile mat, and I was at 40:23, which was about what I wanted (the online results have the 6.55 splits wrong for everyone).

I pressed on, feeling solid at the pace I was at and happy with my splits, and also really channeling those long tempos that I'd done solo.  I kept thinking, "This is just like that 8 mile tempo, only 5 miles farther" -- which I am really not sure was the most encouraging mantra I could have invented, haha!  I've really been working on pacing by feel, and after the first 2 miles when I used my Garmin to ensure I didn't go out too fast, I only looked at it when it beeped mile splits.  I believe all of my tempo runs have really helped me pace consistently.  My pace felt like exactly what I could maintain for a half marathon, but at the same time it's intimidating to try something you've never done before so I hoped that the wheels didn't fall off before 13.1!  I tried to focus on trusting -- trusting my training and trusting God -- but I kept coming back to, "It's just like those 8 mile tempos, just 5 miles longer."  Hah.

Around mile 9.5, for the first time since about mile 1 I could see someone ahead of me!  I realized that one lady had fallen off the lead group and even though she was still uber-far ahead of me, I was gaining.  I told myself to give it my all to finish strong and to pull her in.  I looked at my total time when I passed the mile 10 marker, and when I saw 1:01:35 (a huge unofficial 10 mile PR), I knew that it wasn't my day to break 1:20 because I knew I couldn't close with an 18:24 5K, but I also felt confident that I would PR.

I worked on pulling in #4 throughout the final 5K.  Mile 11 felt great, and then the final 2 miles were into the wind.  I truly believe that I maintained a 6:00-6:05 effort on those 2 miles, but when you're running into a 14 mph wind, that does not translate into 6:00-6:05 splits.  Although this was a tough time to encounter the wind, I am thankful that much of the course had fantastic wind block, because the main other time I felt it was at the beginning of the race (which makes sense, since we started and finished in the same area).  Also, for what it's worth, Strava gave me a grade adjusted pace of 6:02 for mile 13.

I was happy to see the mile 12 sign, and I knew I could gut out one more mile, but I was sure ready to finish!  As we turned onto the final stretch, the finish seemed so reachable yet so far.  I gained a lot of ground on #4, but not enough (she went on to finish in 1:20:40), and it was apparent I wasn't going to catch her by the long final stretch.  It was a mental battle between easing off since I couldn't pass her, and going with all I had left to get the best PR I could.  My kick was a far cry from my best (5:59 pace), but it was what I could do mentally and physically at that point, and that final half mile or so was the most prominent incline of the race (still very minor, but I could feel it!).  I crossed in 5th in a new PR of 1:20:50.  My dad's video of the finish is here, and the announcer even pronounced my last name correctly!

Splits

I guess I called it quite well when I noted here that I felt ready for a half PR but not ready for a 1:19!  Although I'm very thankful for this race, I could also identify key factors that, if different, would have led to a faster time:  A) less wind, B) people to run with, and C) being allowed to run the tangents.  My Garmin read 13.19 at the end of this race, and in my last 3 half marathons it has read 13.10, 13.09, and 13.08, and it almost always reads slightly under on certified courses (it read 26.10 in my last marathon and 6.15 in a recent 10K).  Whenever someone says their Garmin was right and the certified course was wrong, I am the first to say that, nope, your Garmin is wrong and the course is right; but we were not allowed to run the shortest route on the road, which is how courses are certified, and I think that cost me about 30 seconds.  The course was right, we just didn't run the shortest route that it was measured on.  My pace on my Garmin was 6:07.X (must have been 6:07.9+ because Garmin Connect rounded up to 6:08), and per the course was 6:09.96 (no, I am not rounding up to 6:10, bahaha!), so not a huge difference, but when you're chipping away at your PR, every second counts!  A 1:19:59 takes 6:06.07 pace.  Fun fact:  my last 8 mile tempo was 6:07 pace, so this pretty much was just like that 8 mile tempo, just 5 more miles!

One of these distances is not like the others...

However, I've decided to let these factors boost my confidence that I can run faster.  When I ran a 1:21 in Arizona, I wasn't sure if it was something I could top because everything aligned so nicely for that one; I am very pleased to beat that time when things did not align as well.  The lower you work down your PRs, the more you really need that White Unicorn of race day conditions to improve them.  I got a bit spoiled because I actually had those conditions for not one, but for three winter/spring races (Arizona Rock 'n' Roll half, BMO Mesa-Phoenix full, and the Wash U Distance Carnival 10,000 m).  Maybe I can find them again at CIM, God-willing!  When I told my coach about the race, he said, "You need to see what you can do on a straight course", and I look forward to doing just that.

I've also been thinking, we often discuss trusting God when things go wrong, but it's just as important when things go right!  Throughout the race, I kept reminding myself to trust Him, and to relax and just remember that whatever He had in store for me that day was far better than anything I could have planned myself.  Luckily, things went right in the form of a new PR, but regardless I trust Him and I trust the process.

"God is within her; she will not fail." - Psalms 46:5

Awards ceremony

My sweet dad

My sweet mom

One of these things does not belong (that would be ME!), w/ podcast affiliated runners & the race director

I got to post-race brunch with my dear friend Briony who was in Indy from Kansas!

Bling

Results

The trip home

Now it's back to marathon training!  Less than 9 weeks until CIM!

CIM Training Journal #3: Why do these goal paces keep making me laugh?

This continues CIM Training Journals #1 and #2.

August 28, 2017
My running confidence is a pretty fickle thing.  Some days I think I am going to be ready to try 26.2 at 6:17 pace in December, and other days I don't think I can even run a 5K at 6:17 pace!  It is heavily influenced by my surroundings and recent events, which of course I know as a behavior analyst (environment determines behavior, and confidence is really just verbal behavior).  I am not exactly sure how I can be less dramatic about it though.  Right now it's good workout = "I am ready to take on the world" and bad workout = "I'm never going to run anything good again".

My coach advises me to focus on the week I'm in and on getting in the day-to-day training.  It's all targeted at getting me to my goal, and success is the sum of small efforts repeated day after day.  I love the every day process, and sometimes I get lost in enjoying it (and stop thinking about the end goals), which is the best!

I think some of my worry stems from setting a very big and very public goal.  Before the BMO Mesa-Phoenix Marathon, I was quite open that I was chasing a PR, but that wasn't a super challenging goal given how my fall 2016 marathons both has snafus that prevented me from performing my best, that I'd raced two break-through half marathons, and that the Phoenix course was faster than those I ran in 2016. I didn't share my big scary secret goal of 2:49 until after the race. Perhaps I should have taken that approach with CIM -- but I was just so excited I couldn't hide it and now I've told the world!  Live and learn, right?!

August 30, 2017
15 base pace miles before work this morning!  Beforehand I figured if I ran it in about 1:45, I could even be on time to work (it was a day I had a little flexibility and could roll in at 8:30 instead of 8:00 if I needed to) -- and I finished it off in 1:44:15, or 6:57 average pace.  Now I *just* need to run 1 hours longer 40 seconds/mile faster, bahaha!  I am feeling good about my long runs right now though...my speed, not so much!

August 31, 2017
I don't know why God has blessed me with running, but I am so thankful for it every day.  I recently saw the quote, "Happiness is based on happenings, but joy is based on Jesus."  I am guilty of letting disappointing performances put a damper on my mood, but at the end of the day I've got the joy of Jesus in my heart no matter what!  May I run and do everything else like a soul on fire!

September 7, 2017
I'd call this an un-confident week.  I'm tired from the weekend, swamped at work, and keep thinking that if 6:10 pace was all I had in the Run for a Child 10K, then working towards 6:17 pace for 20 miles farther in 12 weeks is impossible.  My coach told me that no one runs well when the dew point is in the 70s, and that my training wasn't targeted at a fast time in that race (it was supposed to be more of a tempo than a race, but the high end of my tempo range is 6:10 so it was barely that!).  I think I am really caught up in thinking that I have to hit a certain time for a 10K in order to hit a certain time for a half in order to hit a 2:45:00 for a full.  But obviously there are additional factors at play, including tapering or lack of tapering, peaking, weather, competition, course, etc. (I later mentioned the amazing effects of these things here).  I am just feeling discouraged and worn out this week!

September 11, 2017
Running the Plaza 10K was a really good call.  I didn't feel like I could mentally handle another race that felt like the Run for a Child 10K, and with the temperatures forecasted for Plaza I almost wondered if it would do me more harm than good to run it.  But I am so glad I gave it a go!  I was able to average 5:59 pace with temperatures in the 70s/85% humidity on a somewhat rolling course (170 ft of gain).  I like to think I could do 5:55 pace with ideal conditions, and this race made me more confident that I really could, or a tad faster if I tapered.  I also feel better about my half marathon goal on September 30; I will need ideal weather conditions to hit it, but with a taper I think it's reasonable to give it a go!  Now let's see if my 2 x 4 mile tempo workout tomorrow confirms that... (Follow-up:  the 2 x 4 mile tempo workout went well considering I was feeling the Plaza race/long run combo on my legs.  I averaged 6:02 for the first 4 mile tempo and 6:06 for the second, and all of my miles were within my goal range of 6:00-6:10, although I had to really fight for it in the final 2 mile, and clearly would have preferred a negative split!).

September 14, 2017
This morning after mentioning to one of my training partners that CIM is 11 weeks away, I started thinking about "life after marathon" and Plan B.  Right now, Plan A is to try for the OTQ B standard at CIM, but if I get to CIM and it's 75*, I won't try -- which would be disappointing, but I'm not that big of an idiot.  If I have nice weather and try, I could very well fail.  I didn't break 3:00 the first time I tried either, and if I were into setting easily achievable goals this would not have been one I selected.

No doubt that I will try again if I don't achieve my goal, but should I try another one off of the same training cycle?  I've had success running two marathons off of one training cycle before (Bass Pro + Dallas in 2015, Prairie Fire + Bass Pro in 2016, and even back with I was training myself pretty cluelessly with Heart of America + Bass Pro 2010).  With my Mesa-Phoenix training cycle I only ran one, but I was able to hold near my peak long enough to also run PRs in the half and 10K (plus a solid 12K and a second solid half), so I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility to give it a try.  I just hadn't thought about it until now because I've been so focused on CIM being IT, and on choosing no future races until after it.  I'm not sure if it's a good or bad approach to have a Plan B already, but since I'm a planner...

I looked up the Chevron Houston Marathon, because I knew it was in January, notoriously fast, and a USATF sanctioned event where several people net OTQ times.  I qualify for their Athlete Development Program (ADP), so I could get some perks, including a free entry.  It's 6 weeks after CIM, so close enough that I could probably hold peak or close, but far enough that I would have enough time to fully recover.  I like knowing it's there as an option, so I'm heavily considering submitting my application for the ADP, but I should probably discuss it with my husband and coach first...

Either way, there will be life after marathon, which is almost unbelievable! 

September 17, 2017
I had a really good long run today that made me think that maybe, just maybe, 6:17 pace for 26.2 at peak on a fast course in ideal weather with a group to run with is something I can do.  I feel like I really need a big half PR before I try it, though.

September 18, 2017
Well, I made this today...  There's a lot of 6:15s on there (insert freak out face here)!

September 22, 2017
I told Jon I wanted to take it easy over the weekend, "because I have to try to run 13.1 miles at 6:06 pace next weekend", and we both laughed at how crazy it is to run that pace for a half, and the irony that it is not a completely unrealistic goal.  Seeing it on paper terrifies me!  I am glad I will have another go at it in November.  Right now I feel ready to go for a PR (under 1:21:26), but not a 1:19 -- which is the same way I feel about my marathon (ready for a PR but not a 2:45).  I also made this, although I don't think I'm going to use it this time.

I've been thinking about how God puts dreams in our hearts for a reason, and this concept is going to be a complete blog in itself, but I hope I am using things that happen along the way to serve Him and to serve others.  Building each other up is what it's all about, and I've been so blessed to have so many amazing people come into my life through running.  I hope I help them as much as they help me.  I try to be encouraging of others, in running and in non-running life.  Sometimes running feels like a selfish pursuit (especially in regards to pursuing big goals like these), but I pray I am using it as I am supposed to!

September 23, 2017
I'm wrapping up this training journal following my first 20 miler of this training cycle!  It felt great at a 6:49 average pace, and in general my long runs have made me feel good about my goal because I'm averaging over 20 sec/mile faster than I was running them at before BMO Mesa-Phoenix.  With my marathon goal pace being 10 sec/mile faster than I ran at Phoenix, it appears the math is in my favor.  After my run today, I thought, "Now I *just* have to run 10K farther at 32 sec/mile faster"...and I then laughed out loud.

Plaza 10K: That's more like it!

The short:
When I put this race on my schedule, my goal was to hit 36:59, but as go-time neared and the forecast refused to cooperate, I revised my time goal to 37:30ish.  I believe I'm in shape to break 37:00, but I'm going to need 45* to do it; a temperature in the 70s with high humidity isn't going to cut it!  I finished in exactly 37:30.  This is a new road PR for me, and while it is not as fast as my track PR of 37:09, I believe it was a stronger performance due to the weather (it was in the 40s for my track PR), the course (this one had 170 ft of elevation gain), and running this during a 64 mile week (also it was kind of my third race in 8 days).  The field was deep, and I was 8th overall female and 1st in the 35-39 age group.  I ran smart and strategically with my competition, and could really only be happier with this one if I could have found 5 seconds more in the last mile and/or it had actually been 45*!  It was a huge relief after not feeling like my fitness showed at the Run for a Child 10K on Labor Day, and I am now ready to tackle my half marathon goal (which I get a taper for!) on September 30, weather permitting.

Clock shots are my husband's specialty

The long:
I was oh-so-hopeful for cool weather for this one, because we saw morning lows of 45-50* during the week preceding the race, but Mother Nature wasn't ready to hand me those conditions yet.  I contemplated pulling out of the race because I wasn't pre-registered, I was coming off of a fatiguing week at work (hello, 10-11 hour days!), and the main reason I put this one on my schedule was for a PR attempt, which would not be happening in the 70s (my Labor Day race had sure reminded me of that!).  I decided it would still be good for me to run it in order to race in a competitive field, and with the pressure of a PR attempt lifted I got pretty excited to just get out there and compete!

Race morning I did all of my usual routines and lined up at the starting line ready to roll.  There were a lot of very fast women on the starting line; some who I knew, others I knew of, and a few who just looked super speedy.  I knew pretty quickly that I wouldn't place in the money (top 4), but I also welcomed the competition because I always run best in races I do not win.

10Ks make Albani yawn

I got off the starting line behind a large group of Kansas City Smoke girls.  I knew there were several in the group who would likely be right around my pace (deja vu of the Big 12 12K).  In the first bit I was behind them all, but I felt like I was pacing well, so I looked down at my watch for confirmation and it read a big fat 0:00.  I'd pressed start at the gun, but clearly I hadn't gotten it started, and I hadn't noticed with thousands of other Garmins beeping.  I started it at that point, and then lapped it at the mile marker so I would have my real course splits from then on.  That was also the last point in the race I looked at my Garmin.

Start -- Can you find me?

The whole race was a "spot a ponytail, work to reel her in" endeavor for me, so with that strategy and the elevation variations I ran by feel.  I always seem to race better this way, but I'm always afraid to do it when I'm gunning for a certain time goal.  The race was large (5,000+), but it was still pretty thin out front so I really never ran with anyone, but there were always others in view.

If you look good in your race photos, you're not running hard enough!

There was a huge clock at the 5K, which I came through at about 18:38, feeling so much better than I had at halfway in Monday's race!  I knew ahead of time that the course would be difficult to negative split due to the elevation (chart below).  Mile 4 had a lot of decline, which I simultaneously enjoyed and worried about, because I knew we would go back up it on a road a few blocks over in mile 5!  Mile 5 was tough and I was surprised my split wasn't slower than it was, but I think it's what took a strong finish out my legs for the final mile (plus the final mile also had a lot of up!).  I'd been working on pulling a gal in front of me in, and I gave it my all to pull up on her at the end, but I ran out of real estate and she finished 2 seconds ahead of me.  Although I wished I'd have had a stronger 6th mile and moved up a place, I was still happy because I gained about 30 seconds on her in the final 2 miles.

I went pretty deep into the pain cave in the final 2 miles.  Dropping to 10K pace is challenging during marathon training, and doing so without being rested even more-so.  However, it is amazing what a difference small variables and a different day can make.  There was no difference in my fitness on September 4 vs. September 10, but there was a huge difference in my performance and how paces felt, and about a minute difference in my 10K time.  6:10ish felt like death on September 4, and 5:59ish felt maximal but do-able on September 10.  This further illustrates the need for ideal conditions for any of us to run our best, and also shows the benefits of being rested.  The Plaza course and weather were slightly better than the Run for a Child course and weather (85% humidity vs. 100%; 170 ft of gain vs. 240 ft), and I was a tad more rested for this one, but I sure can't wait to see how an actual taper feels!  This was a great check-point in my training cycle that showed my training is working; I'm so thankful I had the opportunity to find that out and I am ready to push forward to my next step.  I also still believe I have a 36:50 in me, but it's going to take 45* and a taper to find it (and perhaps also not running 3 races in 8 days!)!

Official results are here (the 5K splits are about 15 seconds fast for everyone, though).  Look at those smokin' top 4 ladies (33:57-35:15!).

"Anything is possible if a person believes." - Mark 9:23

Awards

Splits shown one way (missing first 0.4)

Splits shown another way (also missing first 0.4)

Elevation chart

It pays to be old

One thing Albani and Jon did during my 7 mile cool-down...

This trip to Kansas City also included our first trip to IKEA, a hotel pool, and fantastic family time with my sister's family!

IKEA

Cousins

Cuteness

Also in our hotel, hah

Cousin love

Labor of Love: Double Race Weekend

The Short:

2017 was my 3rd annual KLife Stars & Stripes 5K + Run for a Child 10K Labor Day weekend combo.

I pulled off an overall person win in the 5K, despite the lead bike taking me on a detour that cost me about 0:20.  I ran my first mile at about goal marathon pace (6:15) and miles 2-3 at about goal half pace (6:05 and 6:07) for a 6:08 average (official time 19:26) -- I was pleased with how controlled the paces felt during the race, but it's hard to judge much from running such a short distance at those long race paces.  Results are here.

I netted an overall female win in the 10K; my first overall win in this competitive race in my three times running it.  In the heat and humidity, 6:10 average pace did NOT feel controlled in this one (it felt HARD!), especially running the entire race solo.  I'd hoped to break into the 37s on this challenging course, but had to settle for 38:18.  It was still a course PR (and actually a road PR, although I've run about this during the final 10K of half marathons), bettering my 38:43 from this race in 2016, but I wanted more from myself.  I'll chalk it up to a good effort on tired legs and look forward to better racing weather!  Race results are here.

Action shot that I do not hate!

The Long:
These races and associated travel have become a Labor Day tradition for my family, and this was the third consecutive year we made the short treks to both (both 2016 races are described here, and Run for a Child is detailed further here).  It's a pretty easy combination, with the 5K on Saturday and the 10K on Monday.  We usually do several other family activities along with the races, including spending Sunday night in a hotel with a pool, so the child loves this tradition too!

My goals going into the races were to run the "5K" (which has ranged from 2.95 to 3.3 miles) at marathon goal pace, to beat my 2016 time in the 10K, and to net some cash at both (this was my husband's biggest goal).  I have a goal 10K next weekend, and my coach kind of nicely asked what I was thinking with scheduling 3 races in 8 days (and really, what WAS I thinking?!).  Since CIM training trumps everything, it made sense to train through all of these races, and running the 5K at goal marathon pace gave it a purpose that I was content with while saving my legs for the two 10Ks.  My coach mentioned that this first 10K would be more like a tempo run than a race also.

KLife Stars & Stripes 5K

I started off Saturday's 5K at a pace that felt about like marathon effort.  I looked at my watch less than a half mile in to see that I was averaging 6:10, so backed off a bit.  Marathon goal pace is always such an awkward pace - not fast but not slow, but always work - and right now mentally it's really weird to me because when I think about running 6:17 I think I'm going to be huffing/puffing/dying, but on this day I was not.  I passed a few men to move into first overall a bit before the mile, which I came through in 6:15.  The lead cyclist led me a bit off course around that point, and if he had not I think the course would have been exactly accurate this year (my Garmin had 3.17 with the course error; usually I get 3.08-3.11 in certified 5Ks).

I had a hard time staying at marathon goal pace, in part due to having a lead cyclist pushing me, and in part due to feeling like I was running way too easy for a 5K.  I ended up speeding up a touch and came through mile 2 in 6:05, which is about my half goal pace.  I did the same for mile 3 (6:07), and then the lead cyclist was giving me a hard time about chatting with him and told me he was going to pull off to the side and let me kick in.  So I kicked the final bit, with a Garmin reading of 5:36.  I always enjoy an overall overall win, and the race organizers of this one are very kind.

Being heckled (in a nice way) by the lead cyclist

I was encouraged by how comfortable my pace felt.  I felt that I could have sustained the pace for a half that day (my average was 6:08, and I want to average 6:06 for my next half).  The weather was great -- about 60* (not sure on humidity, it's always humid here but when it's that cool it's not bothersome) and no wind -- so that certainly helped.  I finished off my mileage for the day with a 4 mile cool-down at 6:50-7:00 pace, and felt good about that too (my warm-up was 3 miles).  After the race we played around Branson Landing and took a train ride on the Branson Scenic Railway.

Celebrating at the awards

They had free Chick-Fil-A, & I won coupons for 3 free meals & desserts

Kicking back & relaxing on our train ride

Monday's weather was not nearly as nice as Saturday's.  It was 78* with 95% humidity at race start, and based on how this weather has affected my performances this summer in training and racing, I knew I was not in for the greatest race, but everyone has to deal with it so I hoped to get out there and compete.  This race offers prize money to the top 3, and in both 2015 and 2016 I placed 3rd overall in it.  My parents surprised me and showed up at the starting line, so I was pleasantly distracted from thinking too much before the race!  My dad's video of the race start is here.

Surprise!  Best cheer crew ever (photo by my mom so she isn't in it though)!

I started with a 6:15 mile, according to plan.  This put me in 1st female position, which was a welcome surprise.  This course's elevation is challenging, with the first mile being nearly all uphill before rolling ups and downs the rest of the way, so I'd hoped to start around 6:15 and then drop to 6:00ish, but it's really one you have to pace by feel because your pace will vary throughout each mile.  Mile 2 was 6:09, and in sharp contrast to Saturday, the pace sure did not feel comfortable!  I also heard people cheering "Go Aubrey", and I could tell the second female was right on my heels.  This made me even more uncomfortable, because I hate leading in a close race and I didn't feel like I was going to be able to speed up if she challenged me.  I was also running completely alone, with the men in front of me too distant to be beneficial to me.  I kept telling myself that I needed to catch the one closest to me to be in the 37s (which turned out to be accurate), but that didn't seem to help; my body was more for trying to hang on than to speed ahead in this race (again, in contrast to Saturday).

It would be nice to run the first 1.5 miles in the opposite direction

My third mile was also 6:09, and I was becoming even more sure that I was not going to be able to speed up.  I thought about the irony that I was running almost exactly the same pace I'd done on Saturday, when I'd felt like I could run for 10 more miles at end of that 5K, but at that point on Monday I wasn't sure I was going to make it another 3 miles (my breathing was much more labored on Labor Day)!  I told myself to just lock into that pace and reminded myself that the gal behind me probably felt just as bad as I did.  I made it through miles 4-5 in 6:08 and 6:13, but it was tough!  I dumped water on myself at 3 aid stations, which seems pretty excessive for a 10K, but I just wanted something to cool me off (not sure it actually helped).  I even turned and looked at how much lead I had on turns around mile 4 and 5.5, because I was not sure I could hold off any advances by #2.  She was not far back at mile 4 (probably the only reason I did not run mile 4 in 6:30!), but at 5.5 I knew I had the win and was able to breathe a sigh of relief.  The final mile has a lot more downhill than up, and going into the race I thought I'd be able to hit a 5:45 on that mile (nope -- about 20 seconds slower!).  I was able to close at 5:23 for the final 0.22, mainly because I just wanted it to be over.

My dad's video of my finish is here, and one of the awards ceremony here.

Despite my disappointment about how hard this effort felt, I enjoyed the overall female win, with a time of 38:18.  The second female ended up running 38:53.  I ran 38:43 in this race last year, and I thought I would be able to run at least 10 seconds/mile faster than that this year, but I did not have that!  It's hot and humid every year at this race, but since we've had such nice morning temperatures recently, I felt like this year I wasn't as adapted for it.  I also seem to be more affected by this weather than I used to be for some reason - or at least I notice and complain about it more!  Last year I spent much of the race chasing down the female who ultimately placed 4th, while this year I was in no man's land the whole race.  Last year I had a fantastic day and this year was average.  Final excuse, last year I had a little rest for this race, and this year I was coming off a 62 mile week (I also ran 14 miles total on race day).  My coach said this would be more of a tempo than a race, but my tempo range is 5:57-6:10 so it was barely that!  I guess I am just trying to rationalize why I didn't run faster than I did, because I thought I could get into the 37s.  This is my second best 10K ever and best road 10K...just quite a far cry off my track PR of 37:09, and mainly a testament that I don't run many goal 10Ks.  I didn't expect to rival my track PR that I ran at 45* in a deep field, even though I think I'm in a little better shape right now; I would not tell anyone to go for a PR on this race's course.  My coach reminded me that we separate road and track PRs for a reason; I just think I have a much faster road 10K in me than this!

I was NOT encouraged by how uncomfortable my pace felt.  What a difference a different day makes, eh?!  6:10 pace did not feel maintainable, and I certainly could not have run a half at that pace on this day (I barely made it a 10K!)!  But I'm working on being thankful for the win and moving on! Admittedly it is shaking my confidence for my next races...and how can I even think about 26.2 at 6:17 pace when all I had for 6.2 was 6:10?!

My expression here is hilarious

I love an oversize check!

Dr. Bob is a local running legend & this was his birthday!

After the race, we went to Crystal Bridges in Bentonville, which is something I've wanted to do every year after this race but have usually been too tired to handle!  My friend Mary and her daughter Ro joined Jon, Albani, my parents, and me.

Crystal Bridges

My sweet husband with the girls

Best mom and grandma

Crystal Bridges cuteness

At the end of the day, I feel extremely grateful and blessed with this weekend for many reasons.  I treasure the family and running memories, and the step in the journey.  Nothing is always easy or perfect in this world, but it's exactly where God wants us to be, and we can give glory to Him for the comfortable and the uncomfortable!  Clearly 6:10 pace falls into both categories for me!

Winnings

Professional photo (late addition)

CIM Training Journal #2: Hills and Valleys

This continues CIM Training Journal #1.

This training block is a step in my journey, regardless of the outcome, and I am enjoying it.  I have big goals for CIM, but it's not the be-all end-all of my running.  Whether or not I hit my goal, I will still love running, and this build will help me with future builds.  God-willing, there will be future builds!

A day in the life (Meet the Teacher Night)

August 8, 2017
I had a tired break-down last night where life, including training, just got overwhelming. Sleep has improved my perspective on things (as it always does), but I sometimes feel like I am doing so many things that I'm not doing my best at any of them.  These include working, Mom-ing, training, maintaining a home, weekend activities/memory making, etc.

After a power-packed weekend during which we hosted 5 family members (including 3 children age 5 and under), I awoke sleep deprived on Monday morning to run and strength train.  Then I worked my usual 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. workday, and while I was working my husband took my daughter to buy school supplies since we hadn't had time to go over the weekend.  They also bought her an early birthday present of fish tank and accessories.  I felt like I missed out by not being a part of any of this (I was also mad that he didn't ask me about the fish tank first), and then after I spent an hour that evening catching up on cleaning and laundry, I started noticing that my house's baseboards needed cleaning, the cabinets needed wiped down, the blinds were dusty, etc.  I waited until too late to eat dinner and got hangry, then stayed up until 10:00 p.m. (too late for my 4:50 a.m. alarm).  I was also coming off a sub-par training weekend, and it all suddenly just became too much.  I felt like I had too many balls in the area and I was dropping them all.  I don't feel like I'm doing a lot of things I can "give up" (the irony of writing that on a blog; I could give up blogging obviously!), but for that evening I felt like pursuing a 2:45:00 was just too much.

Today I'm feeling back on track, and I had two solid runs; both were just base runs, but my 8.1 miles this morning was 6:58 average pace while keeping it easy, and I am always pumped when my relaxed pace dips under 7:00 (some days it is closer to 8:00; I really try to go by feel).  Strava also informed me that the route I did on my second run (4.2 miles) on was "trending faster", so I looked to find out that run was the fastest I'd ever run that route, which I've only ever run on second easy runs.

So, another hill and valley.  I once read a quote about running hills that made me laugh:  A hill is like a break-up; eventually, you'll get over it.  Marathon training is not the top priority in my life, but it is my top leisure pursuit and undeniably a major personal goal.  I can't do it all, in training or in life, so I guess I will just wait until they add more hours to the day and I'll be able to come closer.

August 10, 2017
The joy is in the journey, and I am very much enJOYing my miles with friends this week!

August 14, 2017
Last week was my 6th consecutive week of mileage in the 60s!  I looked back at my training logs from my Phoenix build, and I had 5 weeks total that were in the 60s, so I have already surpassed that.  Provided I can stay healthy, this is very confidence-boosting since I am still 16 weeks out from CIM. This mileage is the highest I've done, although I often have whomp whomp moments when I realize that others who are marathon training are running triple digit mileage!  But don't let comparison steal your joy, right?!

August 16, 2017
Today's tempo was a grind, and felt far too much like the Dam to Dam half marathon for my liking!  I probably should have adjusted my expectations for the workout based on the weather (71*, dew point of 70*/96% humidity, breezy, storms in the area), but I didn't.  I wanted 8 miles at 5:59 or better, but I got 8 miles at 6:07 via 6:09, 6:07, 6:00, 6:05, 6:09, 6:08, 6:15, 6:08 (also no pretty negative split!), and I had to fight for it the whole way.  Although it wasn't what I wanted, I was glad to just hang on and to keep all of the miles except for mile 7 within my goal pace range of 5:57-6:10; it was good practice gutting it out when I wasn't feeling it.  I was ready to stop the workout at the beginning of mile 4, and at mile 6 I was really done, but I'm not going to quit if I go through rough patches or can't maintain goal pace during races, so this was practice at doing the best I could with what my body had to give today.

I also reminisced on an 8 mile tempo I did in 2010; I remember it well because I could not even hit my goal marathon pace for really any of the miles that day, but a month later I ran a marathon faster than that goal pace. Compared to that workout, this 8 mile tempo at 1 second/mile slower than goal half pace was not that bad (although mile 7 was bordering on marathon goal pace!)!  I think my confidence is in a much better place now than it was a couple of months ago, because in spite of this off day I still feel good about my overall trajectory.  For awhile, I was fragile enough that one sub-par performance made me feel like I would never run anything good again!  I know I have more to give on a long tempo, and when I run my 10 mile tempo I'll get the chance to show it!  I am also aiming to appreciate what I got out of this one, which was practice hanging on when not feeling good; lucky for me I hadn't practiced this in my previous 3 tempo workouts.

August 19, 2017
Well, this week contained the previously described non-stellar tempo, then a fantastic long run.  I had an 18 miler, which was my first long long run of this training cycle -- I consider 13-16 milers long runs, but not long long runs.  It was a base pace long run across the board (no workout or fast finish), with the goal of having most of my miles between 6:57-7:07, or goal marathon pace + 40-50 seconds. My coach told me to think in terms of mode vs. mean on pace, because my first 1-3 miles will probably be slower as I warm up, but then I should try to keep the others miles in that pace range. My go-to easy pace isn't quite that fast (at least not in 70* and 98% humidity), but I knew I could run it, particularly running with Zach, who is faster than me.

I ended up with 18 at 6:57 average (even though I was instructed not to worry about the mean, hah)! My splits were:  7:39, 7:27, 7:10, 7:09, 7:15, 7:07, 6:59, 6:57, 6:53, 6:57, 6:55, 6:49, 6:51, 6:48, 6:39, 6:40, 6:36, 6:30.  Although I could feel that the final 4 miles were faster, they were still conversational, and being able to carry on a conversation at 6:30-6:40 is a relatively new thing for me.

I felt very strong, and afterward I realized that if I'd have run 8.2 more miles at an average of 6:38 pace, I could have run a sub-3:00 marathon in training.  I got really excited about this, because I believe if I'd fueled I could have done that (this was an intentionally fasted run; I did not fuel before or during aside from nuun in water, which is hydration/electrolytes but not calories). Last summer, I was training for a sub-3:00 marathon as my goal race; currently, I could do it in training on a rolling course.  On the other hand, since I'm currently training to run 15 minutes faster, I suppose a sub-3:00 should be fairly easy.  Whomp whomp.  #neversatisfiedsyndrome  Nonetheless, this made me very happy.  I also had a 66 mile week (week 7 in the 60s)!

I'm looking forward to testing my fitness in a couple of 10Ks in early September (one will be run un-rested, but the other will be slightly tapered).

August 26, 2017
I had another solid long run today! 17.2 miles at 7:01 average per my watch/6:59 average per Zach's (so clearly I am going with his).  My splits were a little more even than last week; after 2 slow beginning miles almost all were 6:50-7:06 (the final mile was 6:47, so we did not fast finish, which is good since I was not supposed to).  It was really confidence-boosting because it felt relaxed the whole way and it flew by.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, I failed at my track workout on Tuesday - basically I ran one good 1600 m. (5:42) and then quit.  I got the chance to re-do it on Thursday, but on tired legs (13 miles with a double on Tuesday, 12 miles in a single on Wednesday).  I couldn't hit my goal range of 5:35-5:40 (I did 5:48, 5:44, 5:46 for full miles on the road because I couldn't mentally get myself back to the track either; 3:00 jog recoveries between), but considered it a success that I got back out there and tried.

I need to write a complete post about this, probably titled "If you don't believe you can do something, you're probably right," because I really mentally defeated myself over this workout, twice.  A friend told me that it's only failure if you don't learn anything, and I suppose what I learned is that I am not ready for a sub-18 5K - at least not un-rested!  I could not have run 3 miles straight at the pace I did these repeats.  Otherwise the day confirmed what I already knew:  I'm stronger at tempos and long runs than at speed work and 5:4X pace is HARD!  5:55 is fairly sustainable for me, but when I have to drop 10 seconds off of that I am DYING.  Whew.  I tried not to let this workout get me down too much, and in the end I don't need to be able to run good mile repeats to run a good marathon, but it worries me for my upcoming 10Ks.  Luckily I am not trying to run 5:45 pace in them (I need 5:57 to break 37:00 and PR), but it is hard to believe in myself when I can't hit my workout times.

On to the next - still trying to dream big, even on days my legs are sloshed!

This was how I felt about the mile repeat workout

CIM Training Journal #1: One way or another

Embarking on what's going to be a lengthy build to the California International Marathon on December 3, I decided to keep a little journal about my thoughts.  I keep a detailed running log with my precise mileage, workouts, paces, and little relevant notes about the weather, my health, etc., so I'm surprised I've never done anything like this; my monthly or weekly training recaps on here are the closest I've come.  So much about accomplishing big goals is believing you can, so this is me working on that component.  I'm not exactly sure how often I'll publish these or what direction they will take, but here goes nothing!

Tuesday, June 20, 2017
This felt like my first official day of the training block since June 19 was a non-running day (although I did bootcamp, as typical for Mondays).  I ran an easy 8.6 miles in the morning and 3.4 miles in the evening.  I didn't feel too chipper starting out in the morning, as I was suffering from a "vacation hangover" and fighting off catching my husband's post-vacation sickness, but every mile got better.  About halfway through the run, which was solo, the song One way or another came on the radio, and I realized what a perfect theme song it was for my 2:45 pursuit.  "One way or another, I'm going to get you, 2:45!"  It may not be at CIM, but I will try and try again -- either until I get it or until the qualifying window closes in January 2020.  If this goal is not accomplished, it is not going to be for lack of trying; it will be because it is outside of my ability and/or I get injured trying.

I'm not feeling very fit or fast right now, and the reasons for this are:  1)  summer is here, 2) I recently ran 6+ minutes slower than what I thought I was in shape for at Dam to Dam, 3)  I haven't done any real workouts since May 30, 4)  I just had 2 weeks of relatively low mileage (e.g., a recovery phase).  I'm working on accepting that I simply won't run as fast in hot and humid weather, but it's sure not as fun to go this direction as it is when paces start dropping in the cool weather of the fall! I feel like I am so grossly far off of the fitness I'll need to run a 2:45, and I'm feeling like I'll never get there -- but I'm trying to focus on doing what's scheduled day to day and trusting that the results will come in time...easier said than done.

Wednesday, June 21, 2017
It's a lot easier to perceive a 2:45 marathon in the realm of possibility soon after running a 2:49:20 than 4 months later at the beginning of summer...

Sunday, June 25, 2017
I read a quote from Arthur Lydiard about big training cycles, and it was something I needed to hear! "You will be running in last when others are running in first.  But, when it matters most, you will be passing them."  You can't be in PR form all of the time; peaking at one time usually comes at the expense of something else.  You have to pick the right time to be 100% and accept that the times when you're not are part of the process.

Tuesday, June 27, 2017
It's impossible not to play the comparison game, so I am trying to play it in ways that are optimistic; comparing where my fitness is at now to where it was in June 2016.  I may not be PR-sharp right now, but I'm way ahead of where I was in June 2016 and I'm farther from my goal marathon (then I was under 4 months out from an early October race, and now I'm over 5 months out from a December 3 race).

Monday, July 3, 2017
Training to break 3:00 last summer was less stressful, and I think that's because I'd come close (3:01:45) in a race that I classified as so-so.  For a 2:45:00, I need to find 4:20 (260 seconds) more than I had in a race that was pretty much perfect (Phoenix and CIM courses are supposed to be similarly fast, which is a very good thing).  I'm doubting myself every day and kind of wondering if I shouldn't try.  It feels like too much pressure and like I'm not good enough.

Tuesday, July 11, 2017
The 2:45:00 B standard is official and I ran a 5:53 average on my 4 mile tempo!  It was a very promising running day!  It sounds crazy or pathetic, but I almost cried when I got the news that the standard was set at 2:45:00 officially and not any faster -- a blessing for sure!  I've had 2:45 in my mind for so long, even a standard of 2:44:00 would have shaken me, and something like 2:42:00 probably would have stopped my dream in its tracks.

Monday, July 24, 2017
Balancing being happy about improvements with striving for more is hard!  I ran the Access to Health 5K 15 seconds/mile faster than in 2016 (5:57 vs 6:12), which I was stoked about.  However, I also think I *ought* to be able to run a lot faster than that for 3.1 miles if I want any chance at running 6:05 pace for 13.1 and 6:17 pace for 26.2.  Oy!  But then I felt super strong on my long run the day after the 5K, running "out" around 7:20 pace and coming back around 7:00 pace, and feeling effortless the whole run.  I told my coach that I always feel much stronger on long runs than on 5Ks, which I suppose is a really good thing!

Tuesday, July 25, 2017
My 6 mile tempo today has me feeling like building up to running 13.1 at 6:00 pace is a real possibility!  Still a terrifying possibility, but if your pace goals don't scare you, they aren't fast enough, right?

Friday, July 28, 2017
I set a fast finish long run final mile PR today with a 6:05 at the end of a 15 miler.  Now, to replicate that at the end of a 24 miler and at the end of CIM!

Tuesday, August 1, 2017
My coach told me NOT to try to PR every workout after I sent him last week's runs, which included a workout PR 6 mile tempo and a PR fast finish mile in my long run (both mentioned above as big confidence-boosters for me).  My first thought was, "But I should be running workout PRs since I am trying to run a marathon faster than I ever have before (not to mention a 5K, 10K, and half marathon along the way!)", but I have since acquiesced that I will stick precisely to the pace ranges he gives me and not try to dip under.  We all know that I am a pro at over-training, and he doesn't want me to do too much too hard too early.  I also have some fear about peaking too early, so I will listen to his expertise.

Wednesday, August 2, 2017
I came close to staying exactly in my pace range on my 3 x 2 mile split tempo workout today with tempos in 11:53 (5:57, 5:56), 11:47 (5:51, 5:56), and 11:43 (5:52, 5:50), only a tiny bit under my range on 3 of the mile splits.  I finished feeling like I had another repeat in the tank.  That is technically how you are supposed to finish workouts, to maximize training gains while minimizing stress on the body, but it's easier said than done because I love pushing.  This was still a workout PR, within following coach's orders, so yay!

I just read back over the beginning of this log, and what a difference 6 weeks can make!  I'm now feeling much better about my fitness and progress towards my goal than I was on June 20, and I'm also feeling fully adapted to sticky summer weather conditions (although I've had some pretty nice weather for my past couple of workouts).  I know I'll wax and wane, have bad workouts when I don't feel fit, and have many days where a marathon PR seems impossible, but I'm happy with my progress and also believe the recovery phase in June did me good.  Regardless of the outcome, I believe that God places dreams in our hearts and goals in our heads for a reason, so however CIM goes, there is a reason for this build.

Saturday, August 4, 2017
Today I got my "bad" long run of the training cycle out of the way, cutting a 16 miler at 13 due to serious stomach issues (the first time in my life I have ever thrown up during a run).  Since this was a novel occurrence, I've chalked it up to something I ate while traveling for work on Thursday and Friday disagreeing with me, and am moving on.  I've actually surprised myself with how non-upset I've been about it, but since it wasn't a key long run or workout, it was good timing to have a bad day.  I was supposed to have a shorter long run next week, but now I'll call this my cut-back one and do the 16 next week, provided my coach is good with that.  I was torn between going back out this afternoon for the extra 3 miles or adding it on tomorrow in order to keep my weekly planned mileage, and I decided on the latter since I only had 6 scheduled for tomorrow (now 9).  I'm feeling depleted but mostly okay now, I think.

I've decided this one is long enough that it's time to hit "publish"!  Until part 2...