CIM Training Journal #3: Why do these goal paces keep making me laugh?

This continues CIM Training Journals #1 and #2.

August 28, 2017
My running confidence is a pretty fickle thing.  Some days I think I am going to be ready to try 26.2 at 6:17 pace in December, and other days I don't think I can even run a 5K at 6:17 pace!  It is heavily influenced by my surroundings and recent events, which of course I know as a behavior analyst (environment determines behavior, and confidence is really just verbal behavior).  I am not exactly sure how I can be less dramatic about it though.  Right now it's good workout = "I am ready to take on the world" and bad workout = "I'm never going to run anything good again".

My coach advises me to focus on the week I'm in and on getting in the day-to-day training.  It's all targeted at getting me to my goal, and success is the sum of small efforts repeated day after day.  I love the every day process, and sometimes I get lost in enjoying it (and stop thinking about the end goals), which is the best!

I think some of my worry stems from setting a very big and very public goal.  Before the BMO Mesa-Phoenix Marathon, I was quite open that I was chasing a PR, but that wasn't a super challenging goal given how my fall 2016 marathons both has snafus that prevented me from performing my best, that I'd raced two break-through half marathons, and that the Phoenix course was faster than those I ran in 2016. I didn't share my big scary secret goal of 2:49 until after the race. Perhaps I should have taken that approach with CIM -- but I was just so excited I couldn't hide it and now I've told the world!  Live and learn, right?!

August 30, 2017
15 base pace miles before work this morning!  Beforehand I figured if I ran it in about 1:45, I could even be on time to work (it was a day I had a little flexibility and could roll in at 8:30 instead of 8:00 if I needed to) -- and I finished it off in 1:44:15, or 6:57 average pace.  Now I *just* need to run 1 hours longer 40 seconds/mile faster, bahaha!  I am feeling good about my long runs right now though...my speed, not so much!

August 31, 2017
I don't know why God has blessed me with running, but I am so thankful for it every day.  I recently saw the quote, "Happiness is based on happenings, but joy is based on Jesus."  I am guilty of letting disappointing performances put a damper on my mood, but at the end of the day I've got the joy of Jesus in my heart no matter what!  May I run and do everything else like a soul on fire!

September 7, 2017
I'd call this an un-confident week.  I'm tired from the weekend, swamped at work, and keep thinking that if 6:10 pace was all I had in the Run for a Child 10K, then working towards 6:17 pace for 20 miles farther in 12 weeks is impossible.  My coach told me that no one runs well when the dew point is in the 70s, and that my training wasn't targeted at a fast time in that race (it was supposed to be more of a tempo than a race, but the high end of my tempo range is 6:10 so it was barely that!).  I think I am really caught up in thinking that I have to hit a certain time for a 10K in order to hit a certain time for a half in order to hit a 2:45:00 for a full.  But obviously there are additional factors at play, including tapering or lack of tapering, peaking, weather, competition, course, etc. (I later mentioned the amazing effects of these things here).  I am just feeling discouraged and worn out this week!

September 11, 2017
Running the Plaza 10K was a really good call.  I didn't feel like I could mentally handle another race that felt like the Run for a Child 10K, and with the temperatures forecasted for Plaza I almost wondered if it would do me more harm than good to run it.  But I am so glad I gave it a go!  I was able to average 5:59 pace with temperatures in the 70s/85% humidity on a somewhat rolling course (170 ft of gain).  I like to think I could do 5:55 pace with ideal conditions, and this race made me more confident that I really could, or a tad faster if I tapered.  I also feel better about my half marathon goal on September 30; I will need ideal weather conditions to hit it, but with a taper I think it's reasonable to give it a go!  Now let's see if my 2 x 4 mile tempo workout tomorrow confirms that... (Follow-up:  the 2 x 4 mile tempo workout went well considering I was feeling the Plaza race/long run combo on my legs.  I averaged 6:02 for the first 4 mile tempo and 6:06 for the second, and all of my miles were within my goal range of 6:00-6:10, although I had to really fight for it in the final 2 mile, and clearly would have preferred a negative split!).

September 14, 2017
This morning after mentioning to one of my training partners that CIM is 11 weeks away, I started thinking about "life after marathon" and Plan B.  Right now, Plan A is to try for the OTQ B standard at CIM, but if I get to CIM and it's 75*, I won't try -- which would be disappointing, but I'm not that big of an idiot.  If I have nice weather and try, I could very well fail.  I didn't break 3:00 the first time I tried either, and if I were into setting easily achievable goals this would not have been one I selected.

No doubt that I will try again if I don't achieve my goal, but should I try another one off of the same training cycle?  I've had success running two marathons off of one training cycle before (Bass Pro + Dallas in 2015, Prairie Fire + Bass Pro in 2016, and even back with I was training myself pretty cluelessly with Heart of America + Bass Pro 2010).  With my Mesa-Phoenix training cycle I only ran one, but I was able to hold near my peak long enough to also run PRs in the half and 10K (plus a solid 12K and a second solid half), so I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility to give it a try.  I just hadn't thought about it until now because I've been so focused on CIM being IT, and on choosing no future races until after it.  I'm not sure if it's a good or bad approach to have a Plan B already, but since I'm a planner...

I looked up the Chevron Houston Marathon, because I knew it was in January, notoriously fast, and a USATF sanctioned event where several people net OTQ times.  I qualify for their Athlete Development Program (ADP), so I could get some perks, including a free entry.  It's 6 weeks after CIM, so close enough that I could probably hold peak or close, but far enough that I would have enough time to fully recover.  I like knowing it's there as an option, so I'm heavily considering submitting my application for the ADP, but I should probably discuss it with my husband and coach first...

Either way, there will be life after marathon, which is almost unbelievable! 

September 17, 2017
I had a really good long run today that made me think that maybe, just maybe, 6:17 pace for 26.2 at peak on a fast course in ideal weather with a group to run with is something I can do.  I feel like I really need a big half PR before I try it, though.

September 18, 2017
Well, I made this today...  There's a lot of 6:15s on there (insert freak out face here)!

September 22, 2017
I told Jon I wanted to take it easy over the weekend, "because I have to try to run 13.1 miles at 6:06 pace next weekend", and we both laughed at how crazy it is to run that pace for a half, and the irony that it is not a completely unrealistic goal.  Seeing it on paper terrifies me!  I am glad I will have another go at it in November.  Right now I feel ready to go for a PR (under 1:21:26), but not a 1:19 -- which is the same way I feel about my marathon (ready for a PR but not a 2:45).  I also made this, although I don't think I'm going to use it this time.

I've been thinking about how God puts dreams in our hearts for a reason, and this concept is going to be a complete blog in itself, but I hope I am using things that happen along the way to serve Him and to serve others.  Building each other up is what it's all about, and I've been so blessed to have so many amazing people come into my life through running.  I hope I help them as much as they help me.  I try to be encouraging of others, in running and in non-running life.  Sometimes running feels like a selfish pursuit (especially in regards to pursuing big goals like these), but I pray I am using it as I am supposed to!

September 23, 2017
I'm wrapping up this training journal following my first 20 miler of this training cycle!  It felt great at a 6:49 average pace, and in general my long runs have made me feel good about my goal because I'm averaging over 20 sec/mile faster than I was running them at before BMO Mesa-Phoenix.  With my marathon goal pace being 10 sec/mile faster than I ran at Phoenix, it appears the math is in my favor.  After my run today, I thought, "Now I *just* have to run 10K farther at 32 sec/mile faster"...and I then laughed out loud.

Plaza 10K: That's more like it!

The short:
When I put this race on my schedule, my goal was to hit 36:59, but as go-time neared and the forecast refused to cooperate, I revised my time goal to 37:30ish.  I believe I'm in shape to break 37:00, but I'm going to need 45* to do it; a temperature in the 70s with high humidity isn't going to cut it!  I finished in exactly 37:30.  This is a new road PR for me, and while it is not as fast as my track PR of 37:09, I believe it was a stronger performance due to the weather (it was in the 40s for my track PR), the course (this one had 170 ft of elevation gain), and running this during a 64 mile week (also it was kind of my third race in 8 days).  The field was deep, and I was 8th overall female and 1st in the 35-39 age group.  I ran smart and strategically with my competition, and could really only be happier with this one if I could have found 5 seconds more in the last mile and/or it had actually been 45*!  It was a huge relief after not feeling like my fitness showed at the Run for a Child 10K on Labor Day, and I am now ready to tackle my half marathon goal (which I get a taper for!) on September 30, weather permitting.

Clock shots are my husband's specialty

The long:
I was oh-so-hopeful for cool weather for this one, because we saw morning lows of 45-50* during the week preceding the race, but Mother Nature wasn't ready to hand me those conditions yet.  I contemplated pulling out of the race because I wasn't pre-registered, I was coming off of a fatiguing week at work (hello, 10-11 hour days!), and the main reason I put this one on my schedule was for a PR attempt, which would not be happening in the 70s (my Labor Day race had sure reminded me of that!).  I decided it would still be good for me to run it in order to race in a competitive field, and with the pressure of a PR attempt lifted I got pretty excited to just get out there and compete!

Race morning I did all of my usual routines and lined up at the starting line ready to roll.  There were a lot of very fast women on the starting line; some who I knew, others I knew of, and a few who just looked super speedy.  I knew pretty quickly that I wouldn't place in the money (top 4), but I also welcomed the competition because I always run best in races I do not win.

10Ks make Albani yawn

I got off the starting line behind a large group of Kansas City Smoke girls.  I knew there were several in the group who would likely be right around my pace (deja vu of the Big 12 12K).  In the first bit I was behind them all, but I felt like I was pacing well, so I looked down at my watch for confirmation and it read a big fat 0:00.  I'd pressed start at the gun, but clearly I hadn't gotten it started, and I hadn't noticed with thousands of other Garmins beeping.  I started it at that point, and then lapped it at the mile marker so I would have my real course splits from then on.  That was also the last point in the race I looked at my Garmin.

Start -- Can you find me?

The whole race was a "spot a ponytail, work to reel her in" endeavor for me, so with that strategy and the elevation variations I ran by feel.  I always seem to race better this way, but I'm always afraid to do it when I'm gunning for a certain time goal.  The race was large (5,000+), but it was still pretty thin out front so I really never ran with anyone, but there were always others in view.

If you look good in your race photos, you're not running hard enough!

There was a huge clock at the 5K, which I came through at about 18:38, feeling so much better than I had at halfway in Monday's race!  I knew ahead of time that the course would be difficult to negative split due to the elevation (chart below).  Mile 4 had a lot of decline, which I simultaneously enjoyed and worried about, because I knew we would go back up it on a road a few blocks over in mile 5!  Mile 5 was tough and I was surprised my split wasn't slower than it was, but I think it's what took a strong finish out my legs for the final mile (plus the final mile also had a lot of up!).  I'd been working on pulling a gal in front of me in, and I gave it my all to pull up on her at the end, but I ran out of real estate and she finished 2 seconds ahead of me.  Although I wished I'd have had a stronger 6th mile and moved up a place, I was still happy because I gained about 30 seconds on her in the final 2 miles.

I went pretty deep into the pain cave in the final 2 miles.  Dropping to 10K pace is challenging during marathon training, and doing so without being rested even more-so.  However, it is amazing what a difference small variables and a different day can make.  There was no difference in my fitness on September 4 vs. September 10, but there was a huge difference in my performance and how paces felt, and about a minute difference in my 10K time.  6:10ish felt like death on September 4, and 5:59ish felt maximal but do-able on September 10.  This further illustrates the need for ideal conditions for any of us to run our best, and also shows the benefits of being rested.  The Plaza course and weather were slightly better than the Run for a Child course and weather (85% humidity vs. 100%; 170 ft of gain vs. 240 ft), and I was a tad more rested for this one, but I sure can't wait to see how an actual taper feels!  This was a great check-point in my training cycle that showed my training is working; I'm so thankful I had the opportunity to find that out and I am ready to push forward to my next step.  I also still believe I have a 36:50 in me, but it's going to take 45* and a taper to find it (and perhaps also not running 3 races in 8 days!)!

Official results are here (the 5K splits are about 15 seconds fast for everyone, though).  Look at those smokin' top 4 ladies (33:57-35:15!).

"Anything is possible if a person believes." - Mark 9:23

Awards

Splits shown one way (missing first 0.4)

Splits shown another way (also missing first 0.4)

Elevation chart

It pays to be old

One thing Albani and Jon did during my 7 mile cool-down...

This trip to Kansas City also included our first trip to IKEA, a hotel pool, and fantastic family time with my sister's family!

IKEA

Cousins

Cuteness

Also in our hotel, hah

Cousin love

Labor of Love: Double Race Weekend

The Short:

2017 was my 3rd annual KLife Stars & Stripes 5K + Run for a Child 10K Labor Day weekend combo.

I pulled off an overall person win in the 5K, despite the lead bike taking me on a detour that cost me about 0:20.  I ran my first mile at about goal marathon pace (6:15) and miles 2-3 at about goal half pace (6:05 and 6:07) for a 6:08 average (official time 19:26) -- I was pleased with how controlled the paces felt during the race, but it's hard to judge much from running such a short distance at those long race paces.  Results are here.

I netted an overall female win in the 10K; my first overall win in this competitive race in my three times running it.  In the heat and humidity, 6:10 average pace did NOT feel controlled in this one (it felt HARD!), especially running the entire race solo.  I'd hoped to break into the 37s on this challenging course, but had to settle for 38:18.  It was still a course PR (and actually a road PR, although I've run about this during the final 10K of half marathons), bettering my 38:43 from this race in 2016, but I wanted more from myself.  I'll chalk it up to a good effort on tired legs and look forward to better racing weather!  Race results are here.

Action shot that I do not hate!

The Long:
These races and associated travel have become a Labor Day tradition for my family, and this was the third consecutive year we made the short treks to both (both 2016 races are described here, and Run for a Child is detailed further here).  It's a pretty easy combination, with the 5K on Saturday and the 10K on Monday.  We usually do several other family activities along with the races, including spending Sunday night in a hotel with a pool, so the child loves this tradition too!

My goals going into the races were to run the "5K" (which has ranged from 2.95 to 3.3 miles) at marathon goal pace, to beat my 2016 time in the 10K, and to net some cash at both (this was my husband's biggest goal).  I have a goal 10K next weekend, and my coach kind of nicely asked what I was thinking with scheduling 3 races in 8 days (and really, what WAS I thinking?!).  Since CIM training trumps everything, it made sense to train through all of these races, and running the 5K at goal marathon pace gave it a purpose that I was content with while saving my legs for the two 10Ks.  My coach mentioned that this first 10K would be more like a tempo run than a race also.

KLife Stars & Stripes 5K

I started off Saturday's 5K at a pace that felt about like marathon effort.  I looked at my watch less than a half mile in to see that I was averaging 6:10, so backed off a bit.  Marathon goal pace is always such an awkward pace - not fast but not slow, but always work - and right now mentally it's really weird to me because when I think about running 6:17 I think I'm going to be huffing/puffing/dying, but on this day I was not.  I passed a few men to move into first overall a bit before the mile, which I came through in 6:15.  The lead cyclist led me a bit off course around that point, and if he had not I think the course would have been exactly accurate this year (my Garmin had 3.17 with the course error; usually I get 3.08-3.11 in certified 5Ks).

I had a hard time staying at marathon goal pace, in part due to having a lead cyclist pushing me, and in part due to feeling like I was running way too easy for a 5K.  I ended up speeding up a touch and came through mile 2 in 6:05, which is about my half goal pace.  I did the same for mile 3 (6:07), and then the lead cyclist was giving me a hard time about chatting with him and told me he was going to pull off to the side and let me kick in.  So I kicked the final bit, with a Garmin reading of 5:36.  I always enjoy an overall overall win, and the race organizers of this one are very kind.

Being heckled (in a nice way) by the lead cyclist

I was encouraged by how comfortable my pace felt.  I felt that I could have sustained the pace for a half that day (my average was 6:08, and I want to average 6:06 for my next half).  The weather was great -- about 60* (not sure on humidity, it's always humid here but when it's that cool it's not bothersome) and no wind -- so that certainly helped.  I finished off my mileage for the day with a 4 mile cool-down at 6:50-7:00 pace, and felt good about that too (my warm-up was 3 miles).  After the race we played around Branson Landing and took a train ride on the Branson Scenic Railway.

Celebrating at the awards

They had free Chick-Fil-A, & I won coupons for 3 free meals & desserts

Kicking back & relaxing on our train ride

Monday's weather was not nearly as nice as Saturday's.  It was 78* with 95% humidity at race start, and based on how this weather has affected my performances this summer in training and racing, I knew I was not in for the greatest race, but everyone has to deal with it so I hoped to get out there and compete.  This race offers prize money to the top 3, and in both 2015 and 2016 I placed 3rd overall in it.  My parents surprised me and showed up at the starting line, so I was pleasantly distracted from thinking too much before the race!  My dad's video of the race start is here.

Surprise!  Best cheer crew ever (photo by my mom so she isn't in it though)!

I started with a 6:15 mile, according to plan.  This put me in 1st female position, which was a welcome surprise.  This course's elevation is challenging, with the first mile being nearly all uphill before rolling ups and downs the rest of the way, so I'd hoped to start around 6:15 and then drop to 6:00ish, but it's really one you have to pace by feel because your pace will vary throughout each mile.  Mile 2 was 6:09, and in sharp contrast to Saturday, the pace sure did not feel comfortable!  I also heard people cheering "Go Aubrey", and I could tell the second female was right on my heels.  This made me even more uncomfortable, because I hate leading in a close race and I didn't feel like I was going to be able to speed up if she challenged me.  I was also running completely alone, with the men in front of me too distant to be beneficial to me.  I kept telling myself that I needed to catch the one closest to me to be in the 37s (which turned out to be accurate), but that didn't seem to help; my body was more for trying to hang on than to speed ahead in this race (again, in contrast to Saturday).

It would be nice to run the first 1.5 miles in the opposite direction

My third mile was also 6:09, and I was becoming even more sure that I was not going to be able to speed up.  I thought about the irony that I was running almost exactly the same pace I'd done on Saturday, when I'd felt like I could run for 10 more miles at end of that 5K, but at that point on Monday I wasn't sure I was going to make it another 3 miles (my breathing was much more labored on Labor Day)!  I told myself to just lock into that pace and reminded myself that the gal behind me probably felt just as bad as I did.  I made it through miles 4-5 in 6:08 and 6:13, but it was tough!  I dumped water on myself at 3 aid stations, which seems pretty excessive for a 10K, but I just wanted something to cool me off (not sure it actually helped).  I even turned and looked at how much lead I had on turns around mile 4 and 5.5, because I was not sure I could hold off any advances by #2.  She was not far back at mile 4 (probably the only reason I did not run mile 4 in 6:30!), but at 5.5 I knew I had the win and was able to breathe a sigh of relief.  The final mile has a lot more downhill than up, and going into the race I thought I'd be able to hit a 5:45 on that mile (nope -- about 20 seconds slower!).  I was able to close at 5:23 for the final 0.22, mainly because I just wanted it to be over.

My dad's video of my finish is here, and one of the awards ceremony here.

Despite my disappointment about how hard this effort felt, I enjoyed the overall female win, with a time of 38:18.  The second female ended up running 38:53.  I ran 38:43 in this race last year, and I thought I would be able to run at least 10 seconds/mile faster than that this year, but I did not have that!  It's hot and humid every year at this race, but since we've had such nice morning temperatures recently, I felt like this year I wasn't as adapted for it.  I also seem to be more affected by this weather than I used to be for some reason - or at least I notice and complain about it more!  Last year I spent much of the race chasing down the female who ultimately placed 4th, while this year I was in no man's land the whole race.  Last year I had a fantastic day and this year was average.  Final excuse, last year I had a little rest for this race, and this year I was coming off a 62 mile week (I also ran 14 miles total on race day).  My coach said this would be more of a tempo than a race, but my tempo range is 5:57-6:10 so it was barely that!  I guess I am just trying to rationalize why I didn't run faster than I did, because I thought I could get into the 37s.  This is my second best 10K ever and best road 10K...just quite a far cry off my track PR of 37:09, and mainly a testament that I don't run many goal 10Ks.  I didn't expect to rival my track PR that I ran at 45* in a deep field, even though I think I'm in a little better shape right now; I would not tell anyone to go for a PR on this race's course.  My coach reminded me that we separate road and track PRs for a reason; I just think I have a much faster road 10K in me than this!

I was NOT encouraged by how uncomfortable my pace felt.  What a difference a different day makes, eh?!  6:10 pace did not feel maintainable, and I certainly could not have run a half at that pace on this day (I barely made it a 10K!)!  But I'm working on being thankful for the win and moving on! Admittedly it is shaking my confidence for my next races...and how can I even think about 26.2 at 6:17 pace when all I had for 6.2 was 6:10?!

My expression here is hilarious

I love an oversize check!

Dr. Bob is a local running legend & this was his birthday!

After the race, we went to Crystal Bridges in Bentonville, which is something I've wanted to do every year after this race but have usually been too tired to handle!  My friend Mary and her daughter Ro joined Jon, Albani, my parents, and me.

Crystal Bridges

My sweet husband with the girls

Best mom and grandma

Crystal Bridges cuteness

At the end of the day, I feel extremely grateful and blessed with this weekend for many reasons.  I treasure the family and running memories, and the step in the journey.  Nothing is always easy or perfect in this world, but it's exactly where God wants us to be, and we can give glory to Him for the comfortable and the uncomfortable!  Clearly 6:10 pace falls into both categories for me!

Winnings

Professional photo (late addition)

CIM Training Journal #2: Hills and Valleys

This continues CIM Training Journal #1.

This training block is a step in my journey, regardless of the outcome, and I am enjoying it.  I have big goals for CIM, but it's not the be-all end-all of my running.  Whether or not I hit my goal, I will still love running, and this build will help me with future builds.  God-willing, there will be future builds!

A day in the life (Meet the Teacher Night)

August 8, 2017
I had a tired break-down last night where life, including training, just got overwhelming. Sleep has improved my perspective on things (as it always does), but I sometimes feel like I am doing so many things that I'm not doing my best at any of them.  These include working, Mom-ing, training, maintaining a home, weekend activities/memory making, etc.

After a power-packed weekend during which we hosted 5 family members (including 3 children age 5 and under), I awoke sleep deprived on Monday morning to run and strength train.  Then I worked my usual 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. workday, and while I was working my husband took my daughter to buy school supplies since we hadn't had time to go over the weekend.  They also bought her an early birthday present of fish tank and accessories.  I felt like I missed out by not being a part of any of this (I was also mad that he didn't ask me about the fish tank first), and then after I spent an hour that evening catching up on cleaning and laundry, I started noticing that my house's baseboards needed cleaning, the cabinets needed wiped down, the blinds were dusty, etc.  I waited until too late to eat dinner and got hangry, then stayed up until 10:00 p.m. (too late for my 4:50 a.m. alarm).  I was also coming off a sub-par training weekend, and it all suddenly just became too much.  I felt like I had too many balls in the area and I was dropping them all.  I don't feel like I'm doing a lot of things I can "give up" (the irony of writing that on a blog; I could give up blogging obviously!), but for that evening I felt like pursuing a 2:45:00 was just too much.

Today I'm feeling back on track, and I had two solid runs; both were just base runs, but my 8.1 miles this morning was 6:58 average pace while keeping it easy, and I am always pumped when my relaxed pace dips under 7:00 (some days it is closer to 8:00; I really try to go by feel).  Strava also informed me that the route I did on my second run (4.2 miles) on was "trending faster", so I looked to find out that run was the fastest I'd ever run that route, which I've only ever run on second easy runs.

So, another hill and valley.  I once read a quote about running hills that made me laugh:  A hill is like a break-up; eventually, you'll get over it.  Marathon training is not the top priority in my life, but it is my top leisure pursuit and undeniably a major personal goal.  I can't do it all, in training or in life, so I guess I will just wait until they add more hours to the day and I'll be able to come closer.

August 10, 2017
The joy is in the journey, and I am very much enJOYing my miles with friends this week!

August 14, 2017
Last week was my 6th consecutive week of mileage in the 60s!  I looked back at my training logs from my Phoenix build, and I had 5 weeks total that were in the 60s, so I have already surpassed that.  Provided I can stay healthy, this is very confidence-boosting since I am still 16 weeks out from CIM. This mileage is the highest I've done, although I often have whomp whomp moments when I realize that others who are marathon training are running triple digit mileage!  But don't let comparison steal your joy, right?!

August 16, 2017
Today's tempo was a grind, and felt far too much like the Dam to Dam half marathon for my liking!  I probably should have adjusted my expectations for the workout based on the weather (71*, dew point of 70*/96% humidity, breezy, storms in the area), but I didn't.  I wanted 8 miles at 5:59 or better, but I got 8 miles at 6:07 via 6:09, 6:07, 6:00, 6:05, 6:09, 6:08, 6:15, 6:08 (also no pretty negative split!), and I had to fight for it the whole way.  Although it wasn't what I wanted, I was glad to just hang on and to keep all of the miles except for mile 7 within my goal pace range of 5:57-6:10; it was good practice gutting it out when I wasn't feeling it.  I was ready to stop the workout at the beginning of mile 4, and at mile 6 I was really done, but I'm not going to quit if I go through rough patches or can't maintain goal pace during races, so this was practice at doing the best I could with what my body had to give today.

I also reminisced on an 8 mile tempo I did in 2010; I remember it well because I could not even hit my goal marathon pace for really any of the miles that day, but a month later I ran a marathon faster than that goal pace. Compared to that workout, this 8 mile tempo at 1 second/mile slower than goal half pace was not that bad (although mile 7 was bordering on marathon goal pace!)!  I think my confidence is in a much better place now than it was a couple of months ago, because in spite of this off day I still feel good about my overall trajectory.  For awhile, I was fragile enough that one sub-par performance made me feel like I would never run anything good again!  I know I have more to give on a long tempo, and when I run my 10 mile tempo I'll get the chance to show it!  I am also aiming to appreciate what I got out of this one, which was practice hanging on when not feeling good; lucky for me I hadn't practiced this in my previous 3 tempo workouts.

August 19, 2017
Well, this week contained the previously described non-stellar tempo, then a fantastic long run.  I had an 18 miler, which was my first long long run of this training cycle -- I consider 13-16 milers long runs, but not long long runs.  It was a base pace long run across the board (no workout or fast finish), with the goal of having most of my miles between 6:57-7:07, or goal marathon pace + 40-50 seconds. My coach told me to think in terms of mode vs. mean on pace, because my first 1-3 miles will probably be slower as I warm up, but then I should try to keep the others miles in that pace range. My go-to easy pace isn't quite that fast (at least not in 70* and 98% humidity), but I knew I could run it, particularly running with Zach, who is faster than me.

I ended up with 18 at 6:57 average (even though I was instructed not to worry about the mean, hah)! My splits were:  7:39, 7:27, 7:10, 7:09, 7:15, 7:07, 6:59, 6:57, 6:53, 6:57, 6:55, 6:49, 6:51, 6:48, 6:39, 6:40, 6:36, 6:30.  Although I could feel that the final 4 miles were faster, they were still conversational, and being able to carry on a conversation at 6:30-6:40 is a relatively new thing for me.

I felt very strong, and afterward I realized that if I'd have run 8.2 more miles at an average of 6:38 pace, I could have run a sub-3:00 marathon in training.  I got really excited about this, because I believe if I'd fueled I could have done that (this was an intentionally fasted run; I did not fuel before or during aside from nuun in water, which is hydration/electrolytes but not calories). Last summer, I was training for a sub-3:00 marathon as my goal race; currently, I could do it in training on a rolling course.  On the other hand, since I'm currently training to run 15 minutes faster, I suppose a sub-3:00 should be fairly easy.  Whomp whomp.  #neversatisfiedsyndrome  Nonetheless, this made me very happy.  I also had a 66 mile week (week 7 in the 60s)!

I'm looking forward to testing my fitness in a couple of 10Ks in early September (one will be run un-rested, but the other will be slightly tapered).

August 26, 2017
I had another solid long run today! 17.2 miles at 7:01 average per my watch/6:59 average per Zach's (so clearly I am going with his).  My splits were a little more even than last week; after 2 slow beginning miles almost all were 6:50-7:06 (the final mile was 6:47, so we did not fast finish, which is good since I was not supposed to).  It was really confidence-boosting because it felt relaxed the whole way and it flew by.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, I failed at my track workout on Tuesday - basically I ran one good 1600 m. (5:42) and then quit.  I got the chance to re-do it on Thursday, but on tired legs (13 miles with a double on Tuesday, 12 miles in a single on Wednesday).  I couldn't hit my goal range of 5:35-5:40 (I did 5:48, 5:44, 5:46 for full miles on the road because I couldn't mentally get myself back to the track either; 3:00 jog recoveries between), but considered it a success that I got back out there and tried.

I need to write a complete post about this, probably titled "If you don't believe you can do something, you're probably right," because I really mentally defeated myself over this workout, twice.  A friend told me that it's only failure if you don't learn anything, and I suppose what I learned is that I am not ready for a sub-18 5K - at least not un-rested!  I could not have run 3 miles straight at the pace I did these repeats.  Otherwise the day confirmed what I already knew:  I'm stronger at tempos and long runs than at speed work and 5:4X pace is HARD!  5:55 is fairly sustainable for me, but when I have to drop 10 seconds off of that I am DYING.  Whew.  I tried not to let this workout get me down too much, and in the end I don't need to be able to run good mile repeats to run a good marathon, but it worries me for my upcoming 10Ks.  Luckily I am not trying to run 5:45 pace in them (I need 5:57 to break 37:00 and PR), but it is hard to believe in myself when I can't hit my workout times.

On to the next - still trying to dream big, even on days my legs are sloshed!

This was how I felt about the mile repeat workout

CIM Training Journal #1: One way or another

Embarking on what's going to be a lengthy build to the California International Marathon on December 3, I decided to keep a little journal about my thoughts.  I keep a detailed running log with my precise mileage, workouts, paces, and little relevant notes about the weather, my health, etc., so I'm surprised I've never done anything like this; my monthly or weekly training recaps on here are the closest I've come.  So much about accomplishing big goals is believing you can, so this is me working on that component.  I'm not exactly sure how often I'll publish these or what direction they will take, but here goes nothing!

Tuesday, June 20, 2017
This felt like my first official day of the training block since June 19 was a non-running day (although I did bootcamp, as typical for Mondays).  I ran an easy 8.6 miles in the morning and 3.4 miles in the evening.  I didn't feel too chipper starting out in the morning, as I was suffering from a "vacation hangover" and fighting off catching my husband's post-vacation sickness, but every mile got better.  About halfway through the run, which was solo, the song One way or another came on the radio, and I realized what a perfect theme song it was for my 2:45 pursuit.  "One way or another, I'm going to get you, 2:45!"  It may not be at CIM, but I will try and try again -- either until I get it or until the qualifying window closes in January 2020.  If this goal is not accomplished, it is not going to be for lack of trying; it will be because it is outside of my ability and/or I get injured trying.

I'm not feeling very fit or fast right now, and the reasons for this are:  1)  summer is here, 2) I recently ran 6+ minutes slower than what I thought I was in shape for at Dam to Dam, 3)  I haven't done any real workouts since May 30, 4)  I just had 2 weeks of relatively low mileage (e.g., a recovery phase).  I'm working on accepting that I simply won't run as fast in hot and humid weather, but it's sure not as fun to go this direction as it is when paces start dropping in the cool weather of the fall! I feel like I am so grossly far off of the fitness I'll need to run a 2:45, and I'm feeling like I'll never get there -- but I'm trying to focus on doing what's scheduled day to day and trusting that the results will come in time...easier said than done.

Wednesday, June 21, 2017
It's a lot easier to perceive a 2:45 marathon in the realm of possibility soon after running a 2:49:20 than 4 months later at the beginning of summer...

Sunday, June 25, 2017
I read a quote from Arthur Lydiard about big training cycles, and it was something I needed to hear! "You will be running in last when others are running in first.  But, when it matters most, you will be passing them."  You can't be in PR form all of the time; peaking at one time usually comes at the expense of something else.  You have to pick the right time to be 100% and accept that the times when you're not are part of the process.

Tuesday, June 27, 2017
It's impossible not to play the comparison game, so I am trying to play it in ways that are optimistic; comparing where my fitness is at now to where it was in June 2016.  I may not be PR-sharp right now, but I'm way ahead of where I was in June 2016 and I'm farther from my goal marathon (then I was under 4 months out from an early October race, and now I'm over 5 months out from a December 3 race).

Monday, July 3, 2017
Training to break 3:00 last summer was less stressful, and I think that's because I'd come close (3:01:45) in a race that I classified as so-so.  For a 2:45:00, I need to find 4:20 (260 seconds) more than I had in a race that was pretty much perfect (Phoenix and CIM courses are supposed to be similarly fast, which is a very good thing).  I'm doubting myself every day and kind of wondering if I shouldn't try.  It feels like too much pressure and like I'm not good enough.

Tuesday, July 11, 2017
The 2:45:00 B standard is official and I ran a 5:53 average on my 4 mile tempo!  It was a very promising running day!  It sounds crazy or pathetic, but I almost cried when I got the news that the standard was set at 2:45:00 officially and not any faster -- a blessing for sure!  I've had 2:45 in my mind for so long, even a standard of 2:44:00 would have shaken me, and something like 2:42:00 probably would have stopped my dream in its tracks.

Monday, July 24, 2017
Balancing being happy about improvements with striving for more is hard!  I ran the Access to Health 5K 15 seconds/mile faster than in 2016 (5:57 vs 6:12), which I was stoked about.  However, I also think I *ought* to be able to run a lot faster than that for 3.1 miles if I want any chance at running 6:05 pace for 13.1 and 6:17 pace for 26.2.  Oy!  But then I felt super strong on my long run the day after the 5K, running "out" around 7:20 pace and coming back around 7:00 pace, and feeling effortless the whole run.  I told my coach that I always feel much stronger on long runs than on 5Ks, which I suppose is a really good thing!

Tuesday, July 25, 2017
My 6 mile tempo today has me feeling like building up to running 13.1 at 6:00 pace is a real possibility!  Still a terrifying possibility, but if your pace goals don't scare you, they aren't fast enough, right?

Friday, July 28, 2017
I set a fast finish long run final mile PR today with a 6:05 at the end of a 15 miler.  Now, to replicate that at the end of a 24 miler and at the end of CIM!

Tuesday, August 1, 2017
My coach told me NOT to try to PR every workout after I sent him last week's runs, which included a workout PR 6 mile tempo and a PR fast finish mile in my long run (both mentioned above as big confidence-boosters for me).  My first thought was, "But I should be running workout PRs since I am trying to run a marathon faster than I ever have before (not to mention a 5K, 10K, and half marathon along the way!)", but I have since acquiesced that I will stick precisely to the pace ranges he gives me and not try to dip under.  We all know that I am a pro at over-training, and he doesn't want me to do too much too hard too early.  I also have some fear about peaking too early, so I will listen to his expertise.

Wednesday, August 2, 2017
I came close to staying exactly in my pace range on my 3 x 2 mile split tempo workout today with tempos in 11:53 (5:57, 5:56), 11:47 (5:51, 5:56), and 11:43 (5:52, 5:50), only a tiny bit under my range on 3 of the mile splits.  I finished feeling like I had another repeat in the tank.  That is technically how you are supposed to finish workouts, to maximize training gains while minimizing stress on the body, but it's easier said than done because I love pushing.  This was still a workout PR, within following coach's orders, so yay!

I just read back over the beginning of this log, and what a difference 6 weeks can make!  I'm now feeling much better about my fitness and progress towards my goal than I was on June 20, and I'm also feeling fully adapted to sticky summer weather conditions (although I've had some pretty nice weather for my past couple of workouts).  I know I'll wax and wane, have bad workouts when I don't feel fit, and have many days where a marathon PR seems impossible, but I'm happy with my progress and also believe the recovery phase in June did me good.  Regardless of the outcome, I believe that God places dreams in our hearts and goals in our heads for a reason, so however CIM goes, there is a reason for this build.

Saturday, August 4, 2017
Today I got my "bad" long run of the training cycle out of the way, cutting a 16 miler at 13 due to serious stomach issues (the first time in my life I have ever thrown up during a run).  Since this was a novel occurrence, I've chalked it up to something I ate while traveling for work on Thursday and Friday disagreeing with me, and am moving on.  I've actually surprised myself with how non-upset I've been about it, but since it wasn't a key long run or workout, it was good timing to have a bad day.  I was supposed to have a shorter long run next week, but now I'll call this my cut-back one and do the 16 next week, provided my coach is good with that.  I was torn between going back out this afternoon for the extra 3 miles or adding it on tomorrow in order to keep my weekly planned mileage, and I decided on the latter since I only had 6 scheduled for tomorrow (now 9).  I'm feeling depleted but mostly okay now, I think.

I've decided this one is long enough that it's time to hit "publish"!  Until part 2...

Facing my Fear: Access to Health 5K

The short:
I came very close to skipping this race; I had a terrible run at the event last year and kept stressing about repeating that.  I'm glad I sucked it up and got out there; I managed sub-6:00 pace (5:57) on a hilly course in a heat advisory, plus I won some cash for second overall female.  I'm doubtful that I will ever love the 5K race distance, but I enjoyed this event; maybe some day I will even stop beginning every 5K race report with, "I came very close to skipping this race", bahaha!

Beautiful scenery, eh?

The long: 
I put this race on my schedule because it's a local event that offers prize money, and I had no other July races planned.  My coach included it within a 64 mile week -- and since my "long" run during this 64 mile week was only 12 miles, it was the biggest week I've ever done as far as day after day mileage.  Training through the event was fine (in the name of bigger goals), but last year I'd also trained through it and had an awful race.  Those details are on Saturday here, but I'll just note that it included a 6:31 final mile, which is slower than my PR marathon pace!  Because of that experience, I got scared of this race and decided I wasn't going to run it after all (a local 5K is not worth the worrying I was doing about it!)...then the day before the race I decided I needed to (wo)man up and do it, mainly to help myself in a 5K I'm targeting in August (I use the term "targeting" quite loosely, because I am actually doing absolutely zero focused 5K training).

From running the race twice before, I knew the course was hilly and a bit long, plus we were in a heat advisory on race day, so I was also concerned that my streak of 5Ks in the 18's was in jeopardy.  I knew to keep my time at 18:59 on this course, I'd need to run about 6:00 pace.  I recently ran a 4 mile tempo at 5:53 pace, so I thought I should have it in me, but my tempo course is much easier than this race's course and I ran it at 5:30 a.m., which is much cooler than 7:30 a.m.!  My warm-up did nothing to make me feel better about the whole pursuit; doing short strides at 5:50 pace was far harder than it should have been!

My fast friend Jamie was racing as well, and I'd asked her if I could try to hang onto her.  She agreed, and then on the starting line she said, "I think I'm going to go out at 5:40 pace for the first mile; what do you think?"  I laughed and told her I would not be starting with her after all, as I planned for a first mile of around 6:00.  There were cash prizes for the top two men and women overall, so I hoped to slide in behind Jamie for 2nd.

Start

I was dripping sweat on the starting line even though I shortened my typical 5K warm-up to 2 miles (instead of the whole race course) in the name of staying a bit cooler.  The race starts up a hill, so I didn't feel fantastic from the gate, but I didn't feel awful.  Jamie was out ahead of me from the gun, but I was in a solid second female for the entire race, with some high school and college-aged boys in my vicinity, but mostly I ran alone.  After the first uphill, the course rolls until a decline from around 1.5-1.9+, and I told myself to soak it up, because then it loops around 1 block west and goes back up the corresponding incline for 0.4+.  Last year that incline nearly killed me, and this year it was not easy by any means, but it was easy in comparison.  Then the course rolls again before finishing down the hill we had to climb at the beginning of the race, making for a fast final quarter mile.  I never felt amazing during the race, but I never felt horrible either.  That was a relief after last year's debacle!

Coming down the final overpass hill that we started up

I ended up finishing in 18:48 officially, so even with the course being 20-30 seconds long I kept my 18:XX 5K streak going!  My conservative Garmin had my average pace at 5:57, and for that course and the weather I was pleased with that average.  Afterwards, pessimistic Jon told me that he felt confident that I could run 10 seconds/mile faster on a flat course with a little rest before, and I hope he is correct (I think I also need 50* though).  I am 100% satisfied with this one, though.  I ran very consistent splits (5:56-5:59) and conquered the fear that I had all week leading up to it!  My average pace was 1 second/mile faster than in the Sertoma Duck Waddle last month, but that course was far easier and that day far cooler, so I feel this performance was stronger, regardless of what my official times say - official results are here.  Jamie really rocked it, averaging 5:40 pace or a touch under!

Impeded clock shot

I also looked back to see how long my 5Ks in the 18s streak is, and this race last year was my last one in the 19s (and would have been in the 19s even if the course wasn't long since I ran 19:36)!  That surprised me because I struggled to break 19 forever.  Also file this one under the prize money exception in my Certified in '17 pledge!  All but one of my remaining planned races for the year are certified (and the uncertified one is a 3.35ish mile "5K" with prize money; I'm not counting it against the 5Ks in the 18s streak and last year I ran it in the 20s!).

Onto the next!

Swag/awards (the card is a free pasta meal!)

Follow the rules: Don't take outside aid during a race

I read a lot of running blogs, and my favorites to read are those written by women who run around my same paces, women who have run or are training for OTQ marathons, and women who balance working and/or Mom-ing with running.  I love reading training week re-caps to see what others are doing, and race re-caps to learn about how others pace, strategize, etc.  I'm not a big fan of running blogs with a bunch of involved recipes (because I'm a lazy cook), and I also don't enjoy running blogs by men nearly as much as those by women.  I could go on, but that isn't the purpose of this post!

I love reading race reports, and recently I've noticed that several runners don't know that per USATF rules, competitors aren't allowed to accept nutrition that doesn't come from official aid stations during races.  The pertinent competition rule is:  "A competitor who collects refreshment from a place other than a refreshment station is liable to disqualification by the Referee."  See item (g) on page 132 in this document (which is actually page 140 of the PDF viewer pages).

It certainly doesn't hurt to be familiar with all of the USATF rules on road racing, and they make up a very small portion of the cited rule document, plus many rules are more related to race organizers' duties, making the whole thing much quicker reading than you'd think at first glance!

I've read a number of race reports in which runners have described taking nutrition from their families on the course, from friends who "jumped in" to run a few miles with them, from their significant others on bikes (having someone run or bike with you during a race is an additional issue for several reasons), etc. -- and I genuinely think that most people just don't know that this isn't okay.  I did not always know either.  If you are competing for overall or age group awards in any USATF certified and sanctioned event, you should be vigilant about taking only the nutrition offered on the course and what you carry yourself.  Of course, everyone participating should follow all of the race rules, but those competing for top placings have more to lose. 

Wouldn't it suck to win prize money in a race only to be disqualified because you took a gel from a spectating friend?  Wouldn't your win feel like cheating if you had extra fluids provided by a family member on a hot day, and went on to win by a tiny margin over someone who didn't get those extra fluids?  Don't we all dislike dopers and course cutters?  Just don't break the rules! 

And honestly, I wouldn't be too happy if someone beat me after being paced by her husband on a bike with him carrying fluids for some or all of the race when I didn't have a bike escort.  Luckily I've never been in this situation, as it would be tricky to navigate.  But, I do have plenty of tips for preparing to use the available course nutrition and for carrying your own during marathons -- I do a combination of the two.

Follow up questions:
Do you personally disregard this rule?
Have you seen people break this rule?
Would you report someone violating this rule?

I got you that time, sub-6:00 tempo -- and the 2:45:00 standard is official!

July 11 gave me news to celebrate -- USATF announced the official 2020 Olympic Trials Marathon Qualifying Standards!  It's been presumed that the women's B standard would be 2:45:00, but it wasn't official until it was official -- and today it became official!  This is great news for me, because there was always the possibility that the standard could be faster, like 2:42.  A 2:45:00 will be a strrrrrrreeeeetch, because everything went awfully well for me to run a 2:49:20, but I am ready to give it a go.  If the standard was 2:42:00, I would more likely be ready to give up.  So not feeling the need to give up something I've been dreaming about is fantastic news!

Whoop whoop!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I've recently had a little beef with 6:00 pace on my tempo runs.  In May 2017, my 4 mile tempo ended up being 6:01 pace and my 6 mile tempo was 6:00 pace.  Back in December 2016, I did a 4 mile tempo at 6:01 pace as well.  Last week, I did a progression 10 mile run in which I ran the last mile in 6:01.  I kept saying, "I'll get you next time, 5:59!" 

Last night as I was mentally preparing for today's tempo, I starting wondering if I was ever going to stop saying, "I'll get you next time" to 5:59.  I haven't been unhappy with 6:00-6:01 tempo averages, because they were PR tempos and towards the lower end of my goal pace range from my coach, which is currently 5:57-6:10 (and on the progression run, my last mile was scheduled at 6:10, so I was under my goal).  But who wants to run 6:00-6:01 when one can run 5:59!?

Well, today I didn't get my 5:59 average; I got a 5:53 average (splits below)!  This was at 72* with 88% humidity (dew point 70*), so I am also officially heat/humidity adapted.  I felt smooth and strong throughout, and it just clicked.  I had company for the first time in over a year on a tempo; Jessi, Missouri State's top distance runner, who I am doing some training with over the summer, did this workout with me, and having her along was extremely helpful and probably the complete reason for the success.  When we came through mile 1 in 5:57, that pretty much sealed the deal on aiming to be sub-6:00 for every split (my initial aim was to start at more like 6:05 for the first mile), and I ended up with a beautiful negative split, which is the only way to run tempos after all.  I finished feeling like I'd run hard, but with some left in the tank -- again, a perfect tempo.

It took me a few tries to get that sub-6:00 average, but I didn't give up.  I am going to try for that 2:45 with the same abandon.  I hope I can get to that 2020 starting line, God-willing, and that my friends with this goal can too!