Rock the Parkway Half Marathon: You can't always get what you want; but you get what you need!

The short:
I managed a course best, a 3rd overall female placing, and a new single age Missouri state road racing record at the Rock the Parkway half marathon with a 1:22:42 finish (1:22:43 gun time).  I also accomplished a goal I've had for about a year, which was to finish a half marathon with a sub-6:00 mile, when I ran my final mile in 5:52!  While the time isn't near my PR of 1:20:50, considering the course (508 ft of elevation gain), the weather (insane headwind for the final 5.5 miles), my lack of taper (including a 20 mile workout 6 days prior to this race), and all of the workouts I've bombed this year, I was elated with my performance in this race.  I also ran the whole way with smile on my face and thankfulness in my heart!  Based on this race, the Easter Sun Run "10K", and that 20 mile workout, I'm starting to re-gain some confidence and also a kernel of hope that, maybe, just maybe, I will be able to pull off a strong marathon in 9 weeks.

The long:
It's never easy to race a half in the heat of marathon training, and mustering the confidence to do so becomes even more difficult when the course is hilly and the weather windy!  I never expected to run a PR at Rock the Parkway; even in ideal weather conditions it would be unrealistic to think that I could improve my time from a nearly pancake flat course on the hills of Kansas City, and the 20+ mph winds assured me that they'd steal a lot of precious time from my final 5.5 miles.  I went into the race focused on placing as high as I could (hopefully in the prize money), and disregarding my watch.  There was a little part of me that kept thinking that maybe I could beat my Rock the Parkway 2017 time, though, since 2017 was similarly stupid windy.

Not flat

In the elite starting area, I knew one woman who would be miles ahead of me (she is a pro who runs for the Army and was 6th in the USATF National Cross-Country Championships), and she was with another woman who looked just as fast but was unknown to me.  After the gun, those two were out fast, along with a blond ponytail.  I settled into pace with three ladies I knew, Janell, Michelle, and Liz.  I follow Janell's training on Strava and hypothesized that her fitness and mine were very similar, I keep in touch with Michelle and did a training run with her on March 24 in Kansas, and I'd raced Liz in the Big 12 12K.  In my head I called us "the chase pack."  We got out nice and relaxed and chatting.  My split for mile 1 was the only time I looked at my watch during the race, because I felt like we went out very conservatively (we did, it was 6:34)...then I embraced effort-based/competition-based racing!

Janell started to speed up a bit as we eased into the race, and I went along with her, leaving Michelle and Liz.  A man around us asked Janell what she was aiming for pace-wise, and she said 6:15ish.  I told her I had about the same pace in mind and asked if she wanted to work together.  She did, and we fell into running side by side, and picked off the unknown fast looking girl around mile 3 and the blond ponytail around mile 4.  That put us in 2nd and 3rd female positions.

This pretty much summarizes the entire race - all smiles!

We chatted about training, racing, coaches, work, mutual running friends, etc. and the miles flew by.  The pace felt brisk but relaxed.  I felt cautiously confident, but racing a half on marathon training legs is always a little risky; you might go from good to the wheels coming off from cumulative fatigue in the blink of an eye.  Running with Janell was very enjoyable, we talked and encouraged each other, and countless people cheered "go girls!"/"2nd and 3rd women"/"you're beating most of the men", etc.  As we passed the 10K mark and continued onto a loop around a park, I reveled in how much better I felt than at that point in the race last year.  I also was very thankful to work together with Janell after a bad experience last year in this race where a female competitor sat on me and would not work with me or go around me until mile 12.  I knew that in the end, we would each be gunning for 2nd place, but I also knew that by working together we were going to both come away with faster times, and I'd take a faster time over moving up a place any day.

When you run a race with someone 6 inches
shorter than you & probably 40 lbs lighter,
you look like a giant in all of your photos!

As the course turned around mile 7.5, we were hit by the brutal southwest wind.  To add insult to injury, that point on the course has a hill that I've always struggled with in this race (in addition to 2017, I also ran it in 2015, pre-blog).  Janell was pushing the pace so we could catch up to some men to potentially draft off of, and I was hanging onto her but starting to doubt myself.  We flew by the men so they were of no drafting help.  For the next several miles, we battled the wind mostly side by side.  At some points she'd pull a little ahead of me, and at others I'd pull a little away from her.  I think we both went through tough patches at different points, and kept pulling each other through.  We continued to pick off man after the man as we ran 5.5 miles into the brutal wind.  No one passed us the entire race!

Into the wind during the final 5K

I knew that Janell has more speed than I do, so the competitor in me knew if I wanted to grab 2nd overall I was going to have to go sooner rather than later.  During the last 5K our talking had slowed down as we fought the headwind, and I vacillated between trying to surge ahead and not wanting to disrupt working with her.  The wind made it difficult to make a move, and although I'd pull a little ahead at times, she was always right with me.  At the mile 12 sign, I knew I had to go then to have a chance.  I started pushing with all I had, telling myself "just 1 mile", willing my legs to turn over.  I pulled away somewhat, but with about a half mile left she really turned it on, pulling me back in and passing me, and I couldn't hang onto her.  She pulled me along through a 5:52 final mile and a 5:18 pace final 0.1, something I'd have never done on my own (Strava said the GAP for the final mile was 6:00 exactly with the downhill, but I'm still counting the sub-6:00!).  She grabbed 2nd overall (and a new PR!), I claimed 3rd, and we hugged in the finish chute.  Runners really are the greatest people.  I then watched Michelle come in in 4th overall position!

Double chin finishing shots are my specialty

As I was changing my shoes for my cool down in a parking lot, two ladies walked by laughing (albeit painfully, as it had started to lightly rain at 41 degrees with 20+ mph winds!) about how they couldn't find their car.  One was in running gear and looked cold, so I offered her my space blanket.  She accepted and exclaimed, "Runners are the greatest people!"

Michelle and I after our cool down together

Official results can be found here.  My state record for age 37 can be seen here.  I'd completely forgotten that the state record was attainable for me (it was 1:23:11); I'd unsuccessfully tried for it when I first turned 37 at the Bass Pro Half Marathon, which ended up not being a certified course that year anyway.  I was running with Jessi the day after the race, also the day after after she set the Missouri State University school record in the 3000 m (9:41 - so fast!!), and she humbly said it was a weaker record because it was a less common distance.  I said, "That's why I broke the 12K state record when I ran only about the same pace as the half marathon state record..." Then I realized, "I broke the half marathon state record yesterday!"  I am glad I didn't remember it beforehand, because I probably would have put pressure on myself to get it, and that mindset rarely goes well for me.

Just keeping up my pre-race tradition when I go
to an event solo

God knew I needed someone to run this race with to keep me out of my own head, and he gave me that.  While I've spent the past 4 months desperate to run as well as I was running leading up to CIM, I've also learned to accept that I'm not going to nail every run, I'm not going to PR every workout and race, and I'm not guaranteed another solid marathon (or even another marathon finish) this season, or ever.  But, I am getting what I need, whether I understand it or not.  I'll continue to do my best and let Him handle the rest!

Now to run 1 second/mile faster for twice the distance...

Believe you can and you're halfway there

I've heard the claim that distance running is 90% mental and 10% physical, and although I'm not sure those percentages are exactly accurate, I think we can all agree that the mental aspect of training and racing is huge.  I have yet to figure out how to strike a balance between being realistic but not pessimistic, and being confident but not over-confident.  Running beyond your capabilities early in a race or workout is nearly always a recipe for disaster, especially with long races.  No one ever says, "I'm sure glad I believed I could go out 45 seconds faster per mile than I'd trained for in that marathon!"  But, on the other hand, believing you can accomplish something is typically a prerequisite for actually accomplishing it.

My running in 2018 has had it's ups and downs, but overall it simply has not been as fast, strong, or consistent as I ran during my CIM build up.  While I believe that the mileage I'm putting in is going to help me pursue my big marathon goals, I also can't force paces that currently aren't there.  I had a couple of good races in March, and also some workouts that have reassured me that I haven't lost everything, but those have been the exception rather than the norm.  Realistically I know that it's unlikely I will match or better my marathon PR this build, and I'm okay with that.  I enjoy the training process, and even if I knew I'd never run faster than 2:47:14 I would still keep racing marathons.

I had a big key somewhat scary marathon workout over the weekend.  Workouts like this are extremely important because they are few and far between.  If you nail them they are very confidence-boosting; if you fail them you may have to re-evaluate your marathon goals.  I thrive on these long workouts and I was so excited for this one that I didn't consider that everything was stacked against me until after the workout.

The workout was 3.5 mile warm up, 2 x 4 mile tempo + 2 x 2 mile tempo with 0.5 recovery jogs between the tempos, 3.5 miles cool down.  That's 12 miles of work within a 20 mile long run (the 20.5 was me over-achieving on the warm up that only had to be 3 miles).  My tempo range was broad:  6:03-6:26, aiming to start at the top of the range and work down.  When I saw the workout on paper, I knew I could do it.  I kept coming back to one of my favorite verses before and during the workout, "God is within her; she will not fall." - Psalms 46:5

In retrospect, really nothing I've run lately indicated that I could actually do it, so I have no real explanation for why I believed I could (especially because I've looked at most other workouts on my schedule lately and known that I couldn't do them).  In all of my past training cycles, before running a workout like this I've run an easy 20 miler, but due to how my half marathon races lined up this season, I hadn't done that this time around.  In fact, the farthest I'd run was 17 miles, and it wasn't even a good 17 (I was supposed to fast finish it but it was all I could do to hold onto 7:15 pace through the end)!  This workout also came earlier in the cycle than it typically does, being 10 weeks before the marathon compared to it usually being about 6 weeks out.  I've failed more workouts than I've hit this season.  Really the only indication that I might be able to pull this off was my solid 6.5 mile 10K the previous weekend.

Here is what I did for the split tempos and recoveries (I split off the warm up and cool down miles):

All of my splits were in my target range, starting at 6:25 and finishing at 6:04.  As with every split tempo I ever run, the hardest miles were the ones after the recovery jogs (the split is really more for your mind than your body, and my body sure doesn't like slowing down then re-starting, but it does help me run the final mile of each portion a little faster).  I averaged 6:18 pace for the tempo miles, and even with having 1.5 miles of recovery jogging in there I came through the half marathon point at 1:24:50ish.  This was significant to me since I have only run under 1:25 in 5 halves - one time each at 1:20, 1:21, 1:22, 1:23, and 1:24 (although I have done it 4 other times in one or both halves of a full marathon).  Edit:  I forgot to count the 2017 Kansas City Half Marathon, although I'm not exactly sure what time to count that one as due to the course snafu (probably 1:23), so this should be 6 halves...but as of 4/28/17, update that to 8 halves (plus 4 times in fulls).  So many disclaimers here now and this statistic no longer seems impressive, but 1:25 was a big deal for me for a long time!

I've run similar workouts in all of my recent marathon builds, and typically my average on the work portions is quite close to what I end up running in the marathon.  Before CIM, I averaged 6:20 on the work miles (then went on to average 6:22 in the race); before Phoenix I averaged 6:27 on the work miles (then went on to average 6:27 in the race); before Prairie Fire/Bass Pro I averaged something like 6:45 for the work miles (then averaged 6:42-6:47 in those races).  In all fairness, this time around the weather was the best I've ever had for this workout at about 30* and only 6 mph wind, so that sure didn't hurt.

I don't think this one workout means I'm out of the woods as far as running hot and cold this build, but it sure made me happy!  I've been desperately searching for a pattern of what results in good runs vs. bad runs for me this year, and I can't really find any reliable one.  I do know, though, that believing I could run this workout, as unrealistic as that probably was, didn't hurt.  When Grandma's gets closer, I'll know realistically what pace to target, whether it's 6:17 or 6:40, and I will believe I can run it.

Embracing effort-based racing: Easter Sun Run "10K"

Easter Sun Run Races

Post-race pose

As with the Big 12 12K, I changed my mind about running this race about 500 times, due to lacking consistency in training and confidence.  I went into the race un-rested and expecting very little out of myself, but my coach suggested using it as tempo effort and I figured I would aim to enjoy myself and try for an overall placing.  I decided before the race that I would run by effort and with my competition, without looking at my splits, because I imagined myself getting discouraged when my times weren't what I'd like to see, which has happened in several recent workouts.

My mom said my ponytail was on fire on the starting line

I went out conservatively, and quickly found myself in second place female, behind last year's female winner who I knew would again dominate.  Being in second early surprised me, especially because I felt like I went out pretty slow.  Around a half mile into the race, Curt, a man I've raced and trained with when in Wichita before, pulled up beside me.  I could feel my effort level increase as I fell into running with him, but it still felt sustainable and I was able to talk, so I decided to pace with him.

Trying to hang on to Curt

When the course had an out-and-back section around mile 4, I saw that I had almost as much ground on the third woman as the first woman had on me (e.g., a lot!), so baring disaster there was not going to be any female place changing.  Curt and I passed a couple of men, moving him into 5th male, which I'd been encouraging him to go get since the top 5 places received prize money.  He then left me in the dust in the final mile, but I maintained my effort and felt good about giving what I had.  When I neared the end and saw the finishing clock still in the 38s, I was surprised, because the course measures closer to 6.5 miles (some 10K, right?!), and last year I barely broke 40:00 on it.  My official gun time was 39:11 (official results are here), but I would have run in the mid-37s on an accurate course, rivaling my 10K road PR of 37:30.  I was also happy to take second overall female, even though it was a very distant second (first ran around 5:30 pace).

Great scenery near the finishing chute

This makes me 2 for 2 on March races that ended up a lot better for me than I thought my training indicated I'd run.  The Tuesday and Thursday before this race I could barely run 400 m. and 1:00, respectively, at 6:02 pace, and on this race day I ran 6.5 miles at that pace with almost completely even pacing (my Garmin splits were all within 6 seconds of each other, which I was extremely pumped about).  The weather was far better for the race than for either of those workouts, and latching onto Curt certainly helped, but I am starting to feel like I just need to get out of my own head and ditch my watch.  I also do truly believe that racing by effort and feel is the best way to race, but I am just not brave enough to do it in a goal race!

Albani's favorite part of the event

Creepy Easter bunny

An octopus may be an uncommon face paiting request

After my race and cool-down, I watched Albani run her first 2 mile race.  She'd been really optimistic about it since she'd run a 5K without walking in January.  My parents were spectating, we were all excited to see her run, and she was insistent that she didn't want me to run with her.  For whatever reason (possibly Easter candy, since she did an egg hunt during my race!), she didn't have as enjoyable of an experience this time around and had to walk.  She told me next year that she wanted to just watch me run and do the egg hunt at this race.  I think she was also disappointed that she didn't win an award, so I gave her my medal, which cheered her up some.  I always leave it up to her whether or not she wants to run races, because I want her to enjoy running and not feel like she ever has to do it, but I hope this experience doesn't dampen her outlook on running.

I also hope she is not paying attention when I change my mind 500 times about running races!

Pre-race excitement

I wouldn't let her go farther up than the 8 minute mile sign

Just look at those big blue eyes!

My dad's videos from the race:
Start
Around mile 5
Awards Ceremony

Books in 2018 - First Quarter

I decided to keep a list of my 2018 reads.  I read every night; I have a difficult time falling asleep if I don't.  Some of my friends kept lists of the number of books they read in 2017, and imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, right?  I was going to publish my book list at the end of the year, but I guess I read more than I realize, especially during cold weather, so I decided to break it up into quarters so my posts didn't become excessively long.

January:

• Finding Noel by Richard Paul Evans - I actually finished reading this on New Years Eve 2017, but I'm counting it anyhow!  I picked up this one after reading The Gift by the same author.  I recommend both.
• Evergreen by Susan May Warren - A quick touching winter read.
• The Last Word by Lisa Lutz - This is the 6th book in the Spellman Files series. I read books 1-3 in the series in 2017 and ideally would have continued on in order, but 4-5 seemed to never be in at my library so I jumped ahead.  This is a series that you can read out of order and still understand, although the OCD in me hated doing this (the impatience in me won out though!).  These books are set in San Franciso, which I enjoyed after visiting there in December.
• Catching Moondrops by Jennifer Erin Valent - Nice story that I read on my trip to the Houston Marathon.
• A Winter Dream by Richard Paul Evans - Another great read from this author, and another one I read on the Houston Marathon trip.
• Finding Stefanie by Susan May Warren - I didn't realize this was the third book in a 3-book series until I finished it and read blurbs on the other two books in the appendix.  Oops!  But it was fine to read as a stand alone, because each book focuses on a different character in a sibling set of three.
• Grace by Richard Paul Evans - I'm going to read all of his books.  They are well-written, moving, and thought-provoking.  They also have Christian undertones, some obvious but more subtle.

February:

• The Spellmans Strike Again by Lisa Lutz - The 4th book in the Spellman Files series (mentioned in January).  I had to put this one on hold at the library to finally get it; I was inspired to do this by Albani placing a couple of books on hold there.
• The Letter by Richard Paul Evans - Like I said, I'm reading every book he has written!
• Trail of the Spellmans by Lisa Lutz - Finishing off the Spellman Files series with "Document #5", which like the fourth book in the series I had to put a hold on to get from our library.  I highly recommend the series.
• Lost December by Richard Paul Evans - A good read even in February!  It's all part of winter...
• One Perfect Lie by Lisa Scottoline - She is another of my favorite authors, and I couldn't put this one down.  She is good at actions and unexpected twists.
• Why Not Me? by Mindy Kaling -  I thought The Mindy Project TV show was hilarious, so gave this one a go.  It was funny but I've read better memoirs.
• The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd - Guess I'll have to watch the movie now (I am sure it is not nearly as good as the book!). 
• The Locket by Richard Paul Evans - All of his books are winners, and I'm sorry if I'm being redundant about that.
• Last Meal by Paul Ibbetson - Paul is my brother-in-law and has published several books!  I thought I'd read all of them, but my husband pulled this one out after Paul was approached about making it into a movie, and I'd missed it somehow so picked it up.  It's set in Southeast Kansas, where I used to live, and fiction based on a true story.  Buy it on Amazon!
• You'll Grow Out of It by Jessi Kline - This one was recommended to me somewhere, but I can't remember where...I also recommend it because it was pretty humorous.
• Promise Me by Richard Paul Evans - Another great story by this author!  I continue to enjoy his style of writing and themes.

March:

• The Mistletoe Secret by Richard Paul Evans - Clearly a Christmas read, but I think I've already demonstrated that I am not waiting to finish these amazing books.
• The Looking Glass by Richard Paul Evans - This is the second book in a trilogy, with The Locket being the first book.
• Corrupted by Lisa Scottoline - Another twist-filled story by this great author.
• A Perfect Day by Richard Paul Evans - I think it's become clear I'm going to read everything of his that my library has.
• The Grownup by Gillian Flynn - This is the author of Gone Girl, and that is clear form her story-telling style.  It was a little vulgar for my taste, as was Gone Girl.
•  Haddassah The Girl Who Became Queen Ester by Tommy Tenney - Historical fiction, which I enjoyed for the most part, but some inaccurate additions from the biblical story made me cringe.
• The Orange House by Paul Griffin -  I finished this one because it was short, but I didn't love it.  Normally if I don't love a book I don't force myself to finish it just for the sake of completing it, because there are so many great ones out there I could be reading instead!  10 years ago I always made myself finish books I started, so I like to think I've evolved.
• The Sunshine Sisters by Jane Green - I recommend everything by Jane Green and was happy to find one I hadn't read yet!

Part 2 coming at the end of June!

Nevertheless, she persisted: March in review

March 2018 Re-Cap

Total mileage for the month:  297.8 (in comparison:  January - 207, February - 254).  Your body doesn't really know the difference between 297 and 300 miles, but your mind sure does!  Same for 68ish and 70 miles in a week...

• Feb. 26-March 4:  66.7
• March 5-11:  67.9
• March 12-17:  72
• March 19-25:  68.2
• March 26-April 1:  71.1

Races:

• March 10:  I broke my racing hiatus by competing in The Big 12 12K in 47:02, which, despite the very challenging race course, was good enough for a Missouri single age state record for age 37 (only because there are very few certified 12Ks in Missouri, because it's not a great time).  I placed 3rd overall female (the best I could have in the field), and I was glad I made the last-minute decision to compete.
• March 31:  The Easter Sun Run "10K" as a tempo.  This course is off on distance, so my goal for it is always to run it as a workout while visiting my parents for Easter and try to place overall.  I accomplished both, keeping all of my splits within 6 seconds of each other without ever looking at my watch (I'm probably most proud of that part!) and placing 2nd overall female with 39:09 (Garmin 10K split in the 37s).  Albani ran the 2 mile race at the event and I got many great photos of her!

Start of the Big 12 12K (I definitely beat the man with the
headphones, and that is my friend Michelle's arm)

How the end of a 12K feels when mile 7
has 140 feet of elevation gain

Workouts:

• March 7:  Fartlek of 3' on/3' off (2.2 warm up, 1.2 cool down for 7.5 miles on the run).  My push paces were 5:46, 5:48, 5:47, 5:49, 5:46.  I was happy with the consistency in pacing and to keep them all sub-6:00.
• March 14:  5 x 1K in 3:39, 3:39, 3:41, 3:41, 3:39 with 0.25 recoveries (3.1 warm up, 3 cool down).  My goal was 3:30 for these, so I was off that, but I ran consistent splits and with all I had that day.  I was disappointed about being nowhere near 3:30 on them, but then I looked back at my training logs to see what I'd done previously, and this was the first time I've ever run under 3:40 on 1K repeats (and I did it 3 times!)!  While it's still a relatively weak performance for me, considering that I've run mile repeats and even the final mile of tempo runs at a faster pace, it was still a PR workout and my coach was perhaps overly ambitious with the 3:30 goal.  It was kind of like when he told me to run 10 x 800 m in 2:45 and I averaged 2:56!  I did remind him after CIM that it was, in fact, possible to run 2:56 Yassos and a 2:47 marathon, so I'm filing this workout in that same category (see also:  my marathon pace and 5K pace are nearly the same).  This is also a lesson on why keeping a training log is valuable; I was thinking that I'd run them in 3:25 before, but it was really 3:45 previously, which is obviously a huge difference.
• March 20:  4 x 1 mile at tempo in 6:01, 6:00, 6:03, 6:05 with 0.5 recoveries (3.1 warm up, 2 cool down).  I'm 99% sure I'd have pushed this workout back a day had my friend Amy not been coming to run what we call "hot loops" for her workout too (we run a relatively flat 0.83 road loop for a lot of speed and tempo work since our normal routes have so much elevation variation).  It was 40*, feels like 33*, with light rain.  I have no problem running in the rain, but running in the rain with a windchill of 33* is pretty much the worst!  Nothing about this workout felt good, aside from checking it off the list.
• March 27:  10 x 400 with 200 recoveries (2.1 warm up, 2.2 cool down).  I ran this in a monsoon, on a track with standing water in lanes 1-4 in several places, e.g., how to run interval effort but only hit tempo pace (I averaged 1:31, all between 1:30-1:32).  My shoes and clothes felt like they were holding 20 lbs of water.  In a normal week I'd have bumped this a day, but it was supposed to rain pretty much non-stop all week, so I just did it.  The body knows effort, not pace, but this sure didn't help my confidence (after the Easter Sun Run I pointed out the irony that I ran pretty much the same pace for over 6 miles that I could only hold for 400 m a few days previously!).  That evening I ran a second run also in the rain.  It was like Mother Nature called my bluff on saying the weather for my previous workout was the worst!  At least it was 52 degrees...
• March 29:  10.4 miles with 1:00 pick-ups at the beginning of each mile, in more cold rain.  I didn't have this workout programmed into my watch because it was a last minute addition, so I don't know my exact paces on the pick-ups.  But, when I looked at my watch during the run my paces were basically along the lines of the March 27 workout as far as providing the opposite of a confidence boost (6:30+)!  Again, it flummoxed me that I was able to run 6.4-6.5 miles at a much faster pace on March 31 than I could run for 1:00 during this workout.
• Doubles on March 7, 14, 20, 22, and 27 (the 3 days I had both doubles and strength workouts were tricky because they were also work days!).
• Strides on March 1, 15, 22, and 28, and at least a few before all workouts and races. 
• Full body strength workouts on March 3, 7, 11, 14, 17, 20, 24, 28, and 31, and 5-10 minutes of core work nearly every day.  I do either core work or foam rolling while microwaving my lunch at work, and my microwave there takes forever to heat up food!
• Favorite workout:  If I can count the Easter Sun Run race/tempo (and this is my blog, so I can make the rules, right?), then it wins.

Long Runs/Medium Long Runs:

• March 4: 15.3 miles (7:45).  I wasn't feeling well on Saturday (sore throat and congestion) so I bumped this one to Sunday, and I still wasn't feeling well but I got the miles in.  I typically try to run easy mileage through about anything.  This was scheduled with 4 miles progressive fast finish, which I still accomplished with 7:30, 7:22, 7:14, 6:48 (after running 11 miles at 7:44-8:10), but every mile of this run was about 40 seconds slower than I'd have liked.
• March 6:  10.5 miles (7:41).  This week my schedule was atypical and I had two double digit easy long runs, with a workout day between them.  I run double digit mileage on Tuesdays and Thursdays often, but it's usually split into two runs (e.g., 8 and 4 milers).  I felt somewhat sickly for this run, but was okay with getting in the miles at a somewhat slower pace, much like March 4.
• March 8: 11.1 miles (7:11).  See March 6 note on two easy double digit singles this week.  I felt over being sick on this run!
• March 10:  15.3 miles, via 2.3 warm-up, 7.5 race, and 5.5 cool-down.  All of this was terribly hilly, and I was about to die of starvation during the cool-down.  I know I need to take a gel between the race and cool-down when I make races like this into long runs, but I didn't actually think I was going to run this race when I packed for the work trip it occurred in conjunction with, so I didn't have a gel, and the banana piece I ate did not cut it (clearly it needed peanut butter smeared on it).
• March 15:  12.1 miles (7:11).  This came the day after a workout + double + full strength workout.  If you're keeping track (and I am!), that's about 2.5 hours of working out on a work day, so I was a bit concerned that I'd be exhausted for this run, but I surprisingly felt great!  So much of marathon training is just continuing to run on tired legs, so...
• March 17:  17.2 miles (7:19).  "Average" is the best adjective for this one.  It wasn't bad, it wasn't great.  The mileage wasn't an issue but I didn't have much pep.  It was a day I would have struggled with getting out the door on my own, so I was thankful that Rebecca ran the first 10 miles with me.  I practiced drinking mid-run with no watch-stopping - grabbed a bottle off my car trunk, ran a short out and back with it, then dropped it back off.
• March 24:  16.2 miles (7:10) with 3 warm-up, 10 at my friend Michelle's marathon goal pace (6:45), 3.2 cool-down.  This run produced so many inside jokes, because it all started with her texting me that she had 6:45 pace miles within her long run and she wished I could run the workout with her (we live nearly 4 hours apart).  I jokingly asked back how far she was from Southeast Kansas, because we were visiting my in-laws there over the weekend and I knew it would be quite a bit closer.  We figured out she lives just over 2 hours from my in-laws' house, and I told her I'd drive an hour to meet her if we could find some place in the middle to run.  She found a little town for us to meet in and mapped out a route for us, starting at a hair salon called "Bob's Hair."  This ended up being one of those runs where the miles just flew by, and the 10 faster miles were 6:46, 6:46, 6:41, 6:46, 6:44, 6:37, 6:38, 6:45, 6:44, 6:47 so our pacing was on point even in the 20 mph wind (she is so ready to break 3:00!).  I'm not sure they see too many runners in Burlington, Kansas, and after the run when we were stretching a guy asked us if Bob's Hair was open on Saturdays (spoiler: it is not).  I was happy with this run because I thought in my current state the 6:45 miles would be hard, and although I wouldn't have settled into them for an easy pace, they were conversational the whole way and much easier than tempo effort.
• March 29:  10.4 miles (7:22).  This put me at running 4 out of 5 runs in cold rain for the week (fortunately at the end of the week the record was 4 out of 8).  This may have been related to the stat that I was also at 4 out of 5 runs solo for the week at that point.
• April 1 will be my next - a Sunday long run due to Saturday's race.  I'd like to point out that if I'd had a Saturday long run as usual instead, I'd have been over 300 miles for the month...but I guess I will have some extra mileage in April now!
• Favorite long run:  I felt good about the March 24 one and I loved helping Michelle crush her workout (although I also have no doubt she'd have done it without me there, just not from Bob's Hair)!

Highlights/thoughts/randomness:

• Strava and I are on break.
• I'm currently not running the best I have, but I'm not running the worst either.  I keep meaning to write a post about it, but I have been insanely busy at work and have just barely kept up with updating my monthly posts, which I do a little at a time as I go.  I have similar intentions to start a Grandma's Training Journal series here, but file this all under "things I neglect when I have a BCBA out for 6-12 weeks and am covering her caseload."  It's amazing what difference getting home 1-1.5 hours later on a weeknight makes, because I feel behind on everything.  I've been super overwhelmed and stressed at work, which I am sure isn't helping my training either, but this too shall pass!

Non-running life events:

• Albani had spring school photos on a terribly windy day.
• Albani participated in Awana Games, where her team placed 2nd.  I learned a lot about Awana Games by watching this competition.  I highly recommend the Awana program for kids - it starts with pre-K and goes through high school, so all ages are welcome!  Albani has done amazing things in it, such as memorizing all of the books of the Bible in order.
• Albani had spring break from March 12-16, which was the week after Daylight Savings Time began...whoever made that scheduling call sure knew what they were doing!  I suffered the whole week as per usual with this time change. 
• St. Patrick's Day, although we didn't do anything aside from wear green.
• We had a lot of Easter fun 1 week early at my in-laws'.

Picture day pre-photo

Professional photo

Awana Games

I wear these year-round, but this month they are actually
seasonably appropriate!

Opening the chicken tractor at Grandpa's farm

Pre-Easter egg hunt #1

This was an intense search with some Fear
Factor-esque components thanks to Aunt Amy

Big 12 12K: Nothing to lose but the entry fee!

The short:
I changed my mind about running this race approximately 500 times, but I'm thankful I decided to get out there and compete.  It is one to run strategically for place, and also to run without looking at your watch due to the crazy elevation variations.  I finished 3rd overall female in 47:02 (6:15 pace), which was also good for a new Missouri single age state road racing record for age 37, since there are very few 12Ks.  Throughout the past couple of months I've encountered some health and personal challenges, during which I've questioned if I should just cancel this entire season many times, but for this race I felt like racing and found joy in the experience, which would have been a victory even if I had run terribly!  This performance wasn't my best, but it also wasn't my worst, and I was probably more thankful for it than any other mediocre performance of my life.

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." - Isaiah 43:2

The long:
I included the Big 12 12K in my spring racing schedule, after the event went well for me last year.  I travel to my agency's Kansas City division for work about once a month, and typically I can schedule when the trip occurs, so I planned March's trip for the Thursday and Friday prior to this race.  The past couple of months have been up and down for me, running-wise and otherwise, and a couple of times after I had bad runs in February I told my coach, "Just take my March races off my schedule."  Then I had a good 5 mile tempo run on February 26, and said, "Maybe leave those March races on my schedule."   

Then, I got sick on March 3, bumped my long run to March 4, and said with certainty, "I am not going to run Big 12 next weekend", and my coach made the adjustment.  I recovered faster than I expected from the illness and had great runs on March 14-15, but my mileage was heavier than it would have been leading up to a race, so I was still not planning to race, but I guess I wasn't completely ready to rule it out because Thursday morning I added a singlet, shorts, arm warmers, compression socks, and racing shoes to my packed bag before I headed out of town (related note:  this was not an adequate amount of race gear and I had to warm up in pants I'd been sleeping in and the long sleeves and ear-warmer I wore to run in on Friday morning, and also wore the sports bra I'd run in on Friday morning...don't even ask what dry clothing I changed into after the race!).

Friday morning after a night of poor sleep, I was dragging and exhausted on my short morning run, so I have no logical explanation for why I started to feel like I wanted to race after all.  I wavered back and forth, but when the time came that I had to decide for logistical reasons (around 2:00 p.m., because if I wasn't staying to race I'd start my drive back to Springfield), I suddenly thought, "Well, I have nothing to lose but the entry fee!" and committed.  I registered at the race expo and stayed Friday night in Kansas City.

Race-ready

Race morning I woke up excited to compete, so I knew I'd made the right decision.  I wasn't sure what my body would have to give, but I knew I'd lay 100% of whatever I had out there and that would be enough.  I drove to the race site, started my normal warm up, and found my parents, who'd been planning to watch the race if I decided to run it and to visit my sister's family, who lives in Kansas City.  It was in the low 30's with a very brisk wind, but didn't feel too cold in the sunshine.  I of course did not pack running sunglasses...

With my sweet dad pre-race

I knew I would have a lot of competition in the race, and that the course was not conducive to even pacing, so although I wore my Garmin, I didn't look at it at all during the race.  My goal was simply to place as high as I could in the female field.  The 12K and 5K started together (my dad's video of the start is here), and I didn't know which women were in which race, but I started off with a pack that included the woman I narrowly out-kicked for 2nd place at the event last year, Tara, along with some of her Kansas City Smoke teammates (the KC Smoke girls are pretty much all smokin' fast!).  The pace felt right, and I had a feeling that the women ahead of us, aside from Kim (who I expected to win the 12K), were mostly or all in the 5K.

Laughing on the starting line

A little after the 1 mile mark, the courses split, with the 12K going left and 5K going right.  All of the women who were a bit ahead of our pack went right.  I could see Kim far up ahead going left, but the only reason I could tell it was her was because I'd talked with her before the race and knew what she was wearing.  I could see a couple of other runners near her but couldn't tell if they were men or women, although for some reason I had a feeling one was a woman.  However, I knew that even on my best day I could not run at the pace they were doing, so my race for position was with the female pack I was with.  I was hoping that at some point during the race someone would tell us what overall position we were in, but no one ever did, so I did not know if I was racing for 2nd or for 3rd.

Our pack gradually thinned, and for a few miles I ran side by side with Tara.  We chatted some and I mentioned that it was deja vu to last year.  We follow each other on Strava so had some idea what the other had been up to since then, and I knew she was training for the Boston Marathon next month.  The distance clipped by, and at one point after I mentioned that running together was really helpful, she told me that if I needed to go ahead to feel free, as the pace felt hard to her.  I was hesitant to go, but I saw a male ahead who we'd been slowly reeling in, and I could feel our effort slowing so after awhile decided I would take off after him.

When I caught the male, I noticed he was a young teenager, so I encouraged him to latch onto me.  I told him we were coming up on a huge downhill that would feel great, but also that mile 7 was all uphill so to save some for that.  He stayed close as we accelerated down the hill.  We then had a bit of flat stretch before tackling the final uphill.

To add insult to injury, in addition to climbing around 140 feet in mile 7, you also have to weave around 5K walkers coming into the finish.  To my relief, both the hill and blockage of 5K masses were much easier than last year.  I'd been fearing the hill the entire race, but it really didn't seem that bad this time!  As for the walkers, aside from the one who hit me with his hand when turning and pointing something out to his friend (he did apologize), it wasn't terrible but I did have to run wide.  In the final 1.5 miles, I could tell that I was a bit weak from being sick, but I felt like I had my position locked in and that if another woman came up to challenge for the place, I could kick it up a gear and keep my lead.

I kicked in the final half mile into the wind, and saw the clock ticking just over 47:00 (my official gun time was 47:03 and chip time 47:02, so the big clock was slightly off).  The announcer said my name (my dad's video of my finish is here), but not my place, so I still didn't know how I'd fared for overall placing.  As I walked through the chute I saw a fast-looking woman wearing buns to the side, and then I knew I'd been 3rd, which my parents soon confirmed.  Kim won with more strength than the woman in buns in the uphill mile.  Tara came in 4th after me, and my friend Michelle was 5th.  I was satisfied with my place because it was the best I could have done in that field (1st and 2nd ran 5:45-5:48 pace, and results can be found here).  Michelle and I then took off for a 5.5 mile cool-down, giving me 15.3 hilly miles for the day.

The elevation chart has to be shown with my splits for this one!  Miles 4 and 7 have a lot of climbing, mile 6 has a lot of downhill, and the others kind of even out as far as ups and downs.  This is not an easy course and I expected erratic splits!  My pleasant surprise of the day was that my final 2.5 miles were about the same pace as I ran last year, with my uphill mile 7 being faster this year.  I worked much harder in this race last year due to the competition situation, and my overall time was about 45 seconds slower this time around, but I had a strong finish without having to kill myself this time.

I'm happy with how it all panned out, and glad I decided to race this.  I have been struggling in various ways lately, and I was so thankful to be able to get out there and run, and to want to get out there and race!  Right now I don't think that this training cycle is going to be my best, but I will do what I can, and God-willing there will be another in the fall that builds off of this one.  Any day I passionately want to get out there and compete is a blessing, no matter how I finish.

It's a marathon not a sprint anyway, right?

On Marathon Recovery & Running vs. Not Running

Many people look forward to some down time after marathons, but I have never been one of those people.  If a marathon goes well, I'm on a runners high and anxious to jump back into training (also always thankful/never satisfied).  If a marathon doesn't go well, I'm ready to avenge it and put in work for the next one (big goals require big commitment).  I am very routine-oriented and running is part of my daily routine.  I also have quite the running endorphin addiction, which I am pretty sure means I am much less pleasant to be around if I'm not running (please tell me I'm not the only one with this issue!)!

Prior to Houston, I decided that I needed to take a week completely off running after the race.  I was feeling hot and cold about my running, and my performance between CIM and Houston was also up and down (the brutal winter did not help!).  I basically did a 30 week marathon training block, with a 24 week build for CIM then a 6 week addendum for Houston, which is a lot now that I think about it (perhaps part of the Houston problem was this being too long!).  My experience at Houston further confirmed that I needed some time off.  Plus, a week off is what you're "supposed" to do, right?

I'd inadvertently started a running streak on June 20, not because I ever planned to streak but because I was running 7 days a week for marathon training.  After CIM I continued the streak by running for 10 minutes and 20 minutes in the two days after the race, then I rolled into Houston training, making for almost 7 months with no days off.  This is nothing compared to most streakers out there, but I used to take a day off every week and had never come near this kind of running streak in my life!

Although I knew my body needed some down time, I had a hard time convincing myself not to run a mile the day after Houston.  My mind kept saying, "Keep the streak!" while my body said, "Break it!"  The snow on the ground and bitter wind chills on top of my post-marathon exhaustion (exacerbated by 11 hours in the car, an 11:00 p.m. return home, and minimal sleep after the race) helped me accomplish my streak-breaking goal!  After I didn't run that first day I suspected it would be easy to take off several more days.  I thought it would feel really good not to run and to eat all of the desserts that I'd avoided for months for the sake of best fueling my training.

On day 2 (Tuesday), I wanted to run, which surprised me!  I didn't, because I didn't want to badly enough to run on the treadmill (the roads were bad enough that schools were closed for 3 days), but the desire was back much sooner than I expected.  I made myself take a few more days off and continued to eat 7 months worth of sweets (eating crap food also helps you take more days off).  I figured I would run again on the weekend after 5 solid days of not running - but on Friday I was jumping out of my skin, the roads were clear enough, and it was warm out, so went out for 4 miles in a t-shirt and shorts at lunch.  I then ran with joy over the weekend.

When I'd asked my coach for no training schedule for 2 weeks after Houston, I fully believed that I wouldn't run at all for the first week and maybe not even for the whole 2 weeks.  I resumed running because I missed it and I wanted to, not because I felt like I had to train for something; in fact, I know that time off right now would certainly help me more than hurt me.  During my second week of "whatever", I've been running easy every day.  It's definitely a "want to" vs. a "have to".

It's also a good reminder that I simply love to run; even if I wasn't training for anything or racing, I would still run.  When I quit collegiate running due to repeated stress fractures, I didn't race again for nearly 3 years, but I consistently ran 4-5 days a week and even ran hard workouts when I felt like it.  The joy truly is in the process, but sometimes you need some time away - whether that is 4 days, 4 weeks, 4 months, of 4 years.  The thing about running is that it will always be there when you are ready to come back.

Everyone recovers in their own way, and I think it's smart to take time off after marathons.  A wise runner told me, "You never get that time back", which has me planning to be more strategic about this next time.  I don't think I did bad this round, but I can do better.  I've been reminded that I never want as much time off after a marathon as I think I will! 

I think it's healthy to want a break.  But I don't think it's unhealthy to not want one.  I realized that from following so many runners on social media, I was getting these thoughts planted in my head: that I should want a week to a month off, that I should be burned out on running, that I should be run down and sore, that I should want to eat crap food, etc., but those things weren't necessarily what I felt or wanted.  I need to recover but I always like to remember why I love to run and train in the first place!

Not really!

You never know your limits until you push yourself to them: More from Houston

I don't know if I can ever write only one post about any marathon I run!  My full Houston race report is here.

• I liked the Houston course; it is certainly flat as advertised.  I'm so used to running on rolling terrain that flat terrain almost feels like decline!  I thought that after this race I'd know which type of course was best for me between a point-to-point net downhill with rolling terrain like CIM or a pancake flat loop like Houston, but because of how Houston went overall I am not sure.
• Houston makes you earn the good shirt.  We received an average cotton t-shirt at packet pick up, followed by a tech shirt (along with a mug and finishers medal) after finishing.

• Houston served a hot breakfast (eggs on an English muffin, with sausage also available) for runners after the race inside the convention center, which I really liked.  Eggs are my favorite post-long run meal!  There were also drinks available (water, coffee, chocolate milk), bananas, and ice cream.
• The race was large but very well-organized, and you could tell they've done this before.  The expo overwhelmed me, as large ones always do, but it was well done.
• I placed 30th female and 22nd American female, which I was happy about in this big of an event.
• The elite field in the race was crazy inspiring; Molly Huddle set a new US record in the half!
• My experience as a sub-elite was a little interesting.  We were given a specific location (intersection listed and marked on a map) to load into our corral, but we weren't let in at that spot.  I, along with several other ADP athletes, had to run around a bit frantically to get in the corral at a different location.  We were also told we could warm up in our corral, and while that was a little bit true, it required a lot of running back and forth over the same 50 meters.  A girl told me that the year before they had a few blocks to warm up, which is what it looked like on the map too.  Perhaps they forgot to update the map from the year before!  This all made me thankful I was running the full and not the half, because for a half I need a much better warm up. 
• I learned that my strategy of always carrying one more gel than I plan to take is a good one, because I dropped half a gel during the race and it wasn't a problem.  In the end I ended up taking only 2.5ish gels instead of my usual 3 though:  one around the 10K, part of the dropped one around the 20K, and then the final one around 16.  I usually take my third around the 30K but took it early since I'd missed part of the second one.  I was planning to take the fourth, making it 3.5 total, around mile 20 but then I just forgot.  I don't think it would have made any difference.
• Speaking of things I forgot, I made a pace band for the race but forgot it at the hotel!  I knew where I should be at given points well enough that I would have been fine without it even if I'd had a good race, and with how my race went I would not have used it.  I realized that I'd forgotten it during the first mile of the race.
• Whenever I used to see people run huge positive splits in marathons, I used to wonder how that could possibly happen.  Now after splitting 1:23:27/1:30:39, I know it can happen even if you don't go out too fast -- clearly, I did go out too fast for what I had that day, but I ran my first half a touch slower than I did at CIM on a flatter course, so it was not beyond my capacity.  I also used to see splits like I ran and think, "that second half must have been so painful", but for some reason it wasn't for me; my body just wouldn't move any faster, but I was okay with continuing running.  I am not sure I'd have believed any of this had it not happened to me!
• I have a difficult time running tangents on a curvy road.  My Gamin beeped right at the course mile markers through about mile 16.  As you can see on the course map below, the road became winding at about that point and then the final long stretch going east back to the finish was curvier.  After 16 my Garmin got farther off the course markers every mile.  If I run another marathon with a road like this I need to practice running the shortest route better!  In my post-race survey I noted that they should put a tangent line on the ground like I've seen on the marathon majors.

• I learned that if I am really back and forth during the weeks leading up to a "maybe" race like this, it's possible I shouldn't run it even if I feel good about it at the last minute.  I second guessed this one a lot, and clearly my body wasn't ready for it.  I also already knew this, but the really good long runs I had kept me hanging on!
• I also learned that the CIM + Houston double is not for me.  I will double dip off of a single marathon training cycle again, but one of the marathons will be a close to home race, and I will also not have a million life events between them.  Although I loved Houston, I don't know if I will run it again because of the timing with the holidays -- or if I did I would plan an easier holiday season, if that is even possible.  If I do run it again, I would probably fly instead of drive (it was a loooong car ride!), but the uncertainty of if we were going or not this year prohibited that.
• However, I stand by being very glad and thankful I ran this race.  I learned some more about my limits, and with the fantastic race day weather I know if I hadn't gone I would have regretted it.  This was my sixth time running two marathons off of one cycle (I did multiple marathons close together on several other occasions too, but that was when I was just running a bunch of marathons while doing no actual structured training cycles, and was not surprisingly much slower -- stories for another post!).  It was the first time I haven't run faster in the second marathon.  I think it's clear that I had to chance it!
• Sometimes you need a step back to fully appreciate how far you've come.  In retrospect, I didn't appreciate my 2:47:14 at CIM as much as I appreciated my 2:49:20 at Phoenix -- and I know that is because at CIM I did not accomplish my "big dream barely a possibility goal" of 2:44:59 for the race, but at Phoenix I exceeded my "big dream barely a possibility goal" of 2:49:59 for the race.  To steal a phrase I read here, I think the ignorant bliss of Phoenix was part of the magic!  Houston taught me to appreciate and be thankful for CIM more than I had been.  Instead of wondering why I couldn't have been one of 50 Olympic Trials Qualifiers at CIM, I'm going to be thankful that I have the opportunity to keep chasing a goal that sets my soul on fire.  Onto the next!