CIM Training Journal #7: What's a taper without a crisis?!

This continues CIM Training Journals #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, and #6 -- and will be my final one!

November 15, 2017

I forgot about taper emotions!  I tend to stress more at the beginning of the taper.  It's not even mileage withdrawal at this point, since the only thing different right now (3 days in) is that I did not run a double yesterday.  I'm generally good about being calm, relaxed, and mostly confident on race day, but I think when the 3-week taper first starts I'm hit with the realization that the work is mostly done -- and the looming question of, "what if I didn't do enough?!"  There's not time to do more or to make many more gains!  There are no more really long runs left, there are no more weeks of mileage in the 70s, there are no more doubles.  But I'm not yet feeling good from the taper (in fact, I'm feeling really fatigued), so I don't feel ready AT ALL.

I heard the song lyrics "You are the one thing in my way" on the first day of my taper, and found it very fitting...I am the thing that's in my way right now!

Taper emotions feel like this

 November 16, 2017
How about the USATF Marathon Championship start list for CIM?!  It took a 2:46:00 full or 1:18:00 half to get into this field; I am in the sub-elite field so not on this list.  One thing is for sure -- I will have many women in front of and around me, and that can only help me.

Later note:  This list has since been updated, as a handful of these women have withdrawn, and I learned via Instagram that Sarah Hall has been added!  I also found out that I will be in the elite corral with these ladies (they do not have a separate sub-elite corral, we go right in the elite one!).

November 20, 2017
Taper week 2 started with a measly 3 mile run, so now I feel like I'm tapering, but I am still quite fatigued.  I almost always feel crappy during my taper -- it's both a physical and mental trip -- so I don't necessarily get discouraged by feeling crappy, but I don't look forward to it either!  I am also doing a caffeine taper; I haven't had coffee since Nov. 10.  I'm doing 2 weeks with only 1 cup of caffeinated tea each morning (after my run, which is always when I had coffee, because I only have caffeine before races and key workouts) and I'm still having 1-2 tabs of caffeinated nuun energy prior to workouts.  Beginning Nov. 26, I'll be off it completely!  It actually hasn't been difficult at all, which surprised me.  I've been drinking more decaf tea during the day and that seems to have a placebo effect, or maybe what I actually crave is warm drinks and not caffeine.  Caffeine is a performance enhancer, and this strategy is purported to make it even more effective come race day.  This is also one reason why I don't have it before most runs (the other is that I'm too lazy to get up any earlier) - because it can reduce effectiveness if over-used.

November 21, 2017
I've been floored by the support I've received from my friends and family recently, as I've been wallowing in self-doubt and revising my CIM goal to be slower.  I am so thankful that people believe in me.  I'm not to the point of believing in myself, but this is completely normal for me being 2 weeks out from a marathon...the next time I really truly believe I can do it will probably occur during the race.  In Phoenix I wore a pace band for 2:52 (after a couple of months of thinking maybe just maybe 2:49), and really didn't believe I could run a 2:49 until the 20 mile mark (at half way I felt good about a 2:51).  I've also made my CIM pace band targeting 2:46:55, because 6:22 pace seems reasonable but 6:17 too scary!

November 22, 2017
I've been training for this since June 20...June 19 was my last day off running; although I was already in good shape in June so was not starting from scratch or anything.  This is both confidence-inspiring (the most consistent mileage I've done, by far, week after week after week) and absolutely terrifying (week after week after week of training for one single race).  I have faith that God will bring me to where He wants me to be, so I'm working on trusting that, but it's been a lot of weeks!

In a timely fashion, this was my daily Bible verse email today:  "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by pray and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." - Philippians 4:6.  This applies to the marathon, the taper, and everything else in life!

November 23, 2017
There are disadvantages to tapering on Thanksgiving, that's for sure!  I am super routine-oriented, so being off every daily routine in addition to my normal running routines is a little crazy.  We are out of town, I'm off work, eating and sleeping are different, etc.  Not a great time for second-guessing!

November 24, 2017
I woke up very nauseous and dizzy several times overnight.  Did Thanksgiving dinner disagree with me?  Did I get minor food poisoning (after all, we ate dinner from food that had been sitting out for hours -- I should have known better!)?  Am I getting sick?

November 25, 2017
My last "long" run was horrible!  When I saw it on my schedule, I didn't think I'd want to stop at 11 miles, but when I ran it I wanted to stop at 3.  I am currently Googling, "feeling bad during marathon taper"...apparently this is normal.  I think it's happened to me before, but I tried to forget it.  I am also still feeling very nauseous and dizzy, which is not helping matters and was probably actually 100% of the problem.  Is this tapering?!

November 26, 2017
Well, in true taper nightmare fashion, I had my medical scare of this taper.  It wasn't as bad as this one, but I guess this is becoming another tapering tradition, much like bombing my Yasso workout.  I need to find some different traditions!

As I mentioned, starting on Thanksgiving night, I became very dizzy when laying down in bed, and was overcome with nausea.  I thought maybe I was just tired and had eaten foods I wasn't used to, but I kept waking up dizzy and on Friday it wasn't any better.  I had a dull nausea most of the time, and the dizziness was brought on by certain movements.  I had a horrible run on Saturday, along with continued symptoms, and ended up self-diagnosing myself Saturday night with benign paroxysmal positional vertigo (BPPV).  It has a pretty clear diagnostic test (involuntary eye twitching when you quickly lay back with your head tilted towards the affected side), so once I did that and it was positive I was 100% convinced that was my problem.

On Sunday my awesome neuro-PT friend (who is also an awesome runner!) confirmed my self-diagnosis and treated me using the Epley Manuver, and then I had some relief.  The nausea hasn't completely subsided, but it has improved.  I have to sleep upright for a few nights, not sleep on my right side, and avoid certain movements, but the prognosis is that I'll be fine.  It's pretty much a random ailment -- not brought on by anything -- but the timing was tough!

I went through some time of thinking that I wouldn't even be able to start the marathon.  As with my last taper nightmare, I think this serves as a reminder to be thankful for my health, and thankful for the ability to run a marathon whether it takes me 2:45, 2:47, 3:15, or 4:00!  It is probably also God reminding me not to take this all too seriously, and not to judge myself by my ability to hit an arbitrary time standard -- and to remember that it's all in His hands.  It's hard to let go of what I want and what I've worked for, but I trust that His plans are better than anything I could dream up!

November 27, 2017
I'm not sure I'm out of the woods yet with the BPPV.  My dizziness has improved but it's not completely gone.  I felt it when I stretched my piriformis and IT bands this morning in a laying position after my little 20 minute shake-out run.  I'm questioning whether to wait it out, to try to get in to the doctor, or what.  It doesn't help that my doctor moved to South America to do mission work, and I have a physical with a new doctor in April (first available), so I actually don't have a PCP right now.  I'll just pray for guidance and wisdom on all of it.  It's hard to know if I'm being taper crazy or if something is really wrong...or both.  I have never been so glad to have Houston as a back-up, though.

November 28, 2017
I woke up this morning feeling very nauseous after waking up feeling dizzy throughout the night despite sleeping with my head elevated at a 45* angle.  I was unreasonably terrified to try my last little workout; what if I got out there and could only muster 6:30 pace?  But I decided to try because I wanted to gauge how this would effect my performance, in case it's still happening on race day.  And I am so glad I got out there and did it, because in spite of the symptoms I felt fresh and strong.  It was hard to hold back and I ran my tempos faster than prescribed (2 miles in 6:12/5:54; 0.5 in 2:51).  I wasn't supposed to dip under 6:00, but this morning there was nothing I needed more than to run sub-6:00 pace and have it feel relatively easy.  I kept telling myself that there is nothing physically wrong with me; it's just my inner ear playing tricks on me.

If I wasn't obsessing about the BPPV I'd be surely be obsessing about something else, so perhaps that's the gift in this.  I feel at peace and that whatever happens, it's going to be okay.  I think I can run a strong marathon on Sunday, but if I can't my worth is no less.  No matter what happens, this training cycle will help my next.

November 29, 2017
My legs and body are coming around!  I'm feeling fresh now, which typically happens a little sooner than this in my taper, but I suspect the higher mileage made it take a bit longer this time.  My BPPV symptoms are also lessening each day, today being more of a minor annoyance as opposed to a constant discomfort, so I am optimistic.  The Sacramento race day forecast looks perfect, and the work is done.  My worth is no more nor no less based on a good/bad marathon, and I am blessed to have a chance to give it a go either way!

November 30, 2017
And tomorrow, I'm flying to California!

You can sign up to track me here.  There are timing mats at the 10K, half, and 20 mile marks - if not more spots.  I've learned that you can't always trust timing mat placements and live results, but I'm hopeful this one will be accurate since it is the USATF Marathon Championships!

I am ready to go do my best and let God handle the rest!  Few things match the thrill of the marathon, and I am ready for this one!

Dreams & goals for a reason

I believe that God lays dreams and goals on our hearts for reasons.  The reasons are not always that we will accomplish the goals, but regardless of the outcome we will do things we are meant to do and learn things we are supposed to learn along the way.

It can be hard to reconcile working towards dreams that may seem like selfish pursuits, such as running goals, but I believe that if you can't get something out of your head or off of your heart, there is a reason for it, and that we should use the talents and passions we've been given.

I believe we can work towards our goals for His glory.  That certainly doesn't mean we are perfect and unselfish along the way, but we can try our best and receive forgiveness when we fail to be selfless -- and let's face it, that is probably daily when pursuing big personal goals; it is a hard balance.

Sometimes running feels like a selfish pursuit, and it also seems like if we really were truly doing everything for His glory, we wouldn't pursue hobbies or employment, or really much of the things in our current daily world.  I don't know exactly how to reconcile this, but we are also told we are given gifts and strengths for a reason, and we should refine what we've been given and use the gifts to serve others.  

With goals and everything else, He doesn't always give us what we want; he always gives us what we need.

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize?  Run in such a way as to get the prize." - 1 Corinthians 9:24 

"For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill His good purpose." - Philippians 2:13

"But thanks be to God!  He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." - 1 Corinthians 15:57

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I was honored to be interviewed recently about my goals and dreams by Running Liz for the Minneapolis Running website; you can read the article here.  Liz is not only a talented runner and writer, but also a fantastic musician and one of the kindest people you'll ever meet.

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Finally, happy Thanksgiving Eve and I hope everyone has a blessed holiday.  I don't plan on posting tomorrow, so wanted to share this website with great verses about thankfulness (still excellent even if you're reading this way after Thanksgiving!).

The look of someone focused on a goal!

Couldn't have said it better myself!

Fill in the blank: "I was so tired at one point during marathon training that I ________."

I think my best answers are:

...worked late, completed my second run of the day, then helped my daughter with homework, prepared and ate dinner, and did other random things at home, then quickly it was 9:00 p.m.  I went to bed wearing the clothes I'd run in, and then the next morning I woke up and ran in them again!

...almost ran 3 times in a day.  I had a double, and ran my second run at lunch, but all of my days were running together and I forgot I'd run it.  I got dressed to run after work, and then saw my lunch run laundry and double checked Strava to ensure that I was in fact done for the day!  But in the end this was winning, because I just slept in my running clothing and ran in it the next morning (clean this time!).

Clearly I am most likely to make tired errors on double days that result in sleeping in running clothing!

What's your fill in the blank?

Disclaimer:  I actually felt really great throughout this marathon training cycle.  If you constantly feel fatigued and beat down, you're over-training -- which is something I've done many times.  Pride yourself in both training well and recovering well; don't pride yourself on constant dead legs from hard work.  It took me many years to learn that!

However, I was NEVER as tired during marathon training as I was on
this Disney vacation!  Legs up the wall at the Animal Kingdom bus stop.

Never Satisfied Syndrome

Do you, or does someone you love, suffer from Never Satisfied Syndrome?  The primary symptom is always wanting more.  This is often shown by accomplishing a goal and immediately setting a new one, and also by always finding at least one thing that could have been better about any performance.  It is quite common in Type A endurance athletes, and I definitely have a case of it.

I once read an article that said runners like this are hard to coach, so sometimes I feel bad when I send an email to my coach describing that I am thrilled with a PR, and then in subsequent paragraphs tell him what could have been better and what bigger thing I want to work towards next ("I'm so happy, BUT...").  The day after the BMO Mesa-Phoenix Marathon, I was celebrating my PR, but I was also planning bigger goals.  I rode the high of that race for weeks, but at the same time I was very clear on my next big dream goal of 2:44:59 even at the post-race celebration.  Before Phoenix, 2:49 was a pipe dream, but afterward, it wasn't good enough; I decided I could do better.

I know I'm not the only one who operates this way, so how can we strike a balance?!  I think I'm pretty good with being thankful and content, but never satisfied.  I'm pleased with how my training is going, but I know I can do more.  I'm happy with my current PRs, but I think I can go faster.  On one hand, this outlook can diminish accomplishments ("It's never enough!"), but on the other hand I think it's part of what keeps me approaching training with abandon day after day (the other part of that is simply because I love running).

I put 2:45 as the label on my morning alarm some time ago, so it was the first thing I saw when I woke up to run every morning (during my Phoenix build, I had 2:49:59 as the label, but never told anyone).  After showing the alarm to Jon, I changed it to 2:44:59, saying, "Who wants to run 2:45:00 when you could run just 1 second faster so you can say you've run a 2:44 marathon?"  Then we both laughed and he said, "I think you'll take a 2:45:00", followed by more laughter and "Yes, I will, but then I'll spend the subsequent months wondering why I couldn't have found just 1 more second."

It's a slippery slope!  Don't get me wrong -- I will be elated if I hit 2:45:00 on the nose at any point, because that's what it takes; I will also be proud even if 2:49 stand as my forever marathon PR.  But I want to try to do better!  When I started this "work my marathon time down" journey, I genuinely oh-so-naively believed that if I broke 3:00 I would be completely satisfied and wouldn't even need to run another marathon.  We all know how that turned out -- I was ecstatic, but I knew I had a faster one in me.  I became obsessed with 2:49, and was very blessed for that one to work out.  Then in true form, it's been onto the next obsession with 2:44:59!

I told Jon that if I get a qualifying time then I won't run another marathon between running it and the 2020 Trials.  Then we had another good laugh about that; he acknowledged, "If you run a 2:44, you'll then want a 2:42."  At least he knows what he could be in for!  I like to think at some point I will acknowledge I'm at my max, and right now I really do think I would feel that way about 2:44:59.

Thankful and content, but never satisfied -- it's not the worst way to operate, right?  Dream big and then dream bigger!

CIM Training Journal #6: Hello self-doubt my old friend

This continues CIM Training Journals #1, #2, #3, #4, and #5.

October 24, 2017
My friend Amy ran with me on my second run at lunch today.  When she was waiting by the door at work someone asked her who she was looking for, and when she replied "Sara", that person asked, "Marathon runner Sara?"  I work for a huge organization, and found it humorous and awesome that the person knew I was a marathon runner but didn't know my last name (I am sure it helped that Amy was dressed in running attire).

I'm still on a bit of a trip from the Kansas City half marathon, but I'm trying to remind myself that what it all boils down to is that I ran 12.9ish miles at an average pace of somewhere between 6:15-6:20 (which is marathon goal pace), with uneven workout pacing, on a course with nearly 800 ft of elevation gain, when it was 68* with 25+ mph wind, during a 71 mile week.  I think in the big picture this is promising, and prior to other marathons I'm not sure I could have done the equivalent (prior to Phoenix I averaged 6:35ish pace for the comparable part of a similar workout on a much easier course in cooler temps, then went on to average 6:27 pace for that marathon). Even though I don't have my workout splits I know the effort was there, but I'm just still upset about how it all played out.  In comparison, though, I ran a little faster than I did at Rock the Parkway in April, and at RtP the wind was comparable, the temperature better, the course easier (280ish ft of gain), I was a more rested, and I was racing all-out...so I have made progress.  I just going to keep rationalizing away until I get over it!

Also, at least it wasn't a goal race and a situation in which I thought I broke 1:20 only to find out I ran 1:21!

October 25, 2017
Right now I'm stuck on 2:47 for CIM.  This feels like a realistic goal.  I just don't think I'm quite ready for 2:45 unless this course is just ridiculously fast and being at sea level makes a dramatic difference.  I'll see how my half goes at Bass Pro on November 5, but I also don't anticipate great things there because I expect to have no one around me and the course has a million turns (also I do not expect to be rested for it).  The upside is that Bass Pro nearly always has perfect weather, and I get to sleep in my own bed and eat at home pre-race!

October 26, 2017 (my birthday)
The most exciting thing about turning a year older is that the Missouri state half marathon record for age 37 is currently 1:23:11.  I told my husband that all I wanted to for our anniversary and my birthday this year was a trip to CIM, so guess what, I'm going to CIM!  :-)

October 28, 2017
During every long run I think about CIM, and today's 22.4 miler was no different.  I continue to feel really good about going for a 2:46-2:47, but to not feel so good about trying for a 2:45:00 or better!  I don't know why those extra couple of minutes feel so insurmountable, but I think it is because maintaining 6:20-6:24 pace seems do-able, but maintaining 6:17 pace or faster doesn't!  Those 3-7 seconds/mile make a huge difference in my head.  I wish the standard was 2:51:16 like it was in 1984, 2:50 like 1988 and 2000, 2:48 like 2004, or 2:47 like 2008 - but I am also thankful it is not 2:42 like in 1996!! What was going on in 1996?!

October 30, 2017
I did some math on my mileage today.  Details are coming, but what I found is that in the 24 weeks leading up to CIM, my average weekly mileage will be about 14 miles per week (mpw) more than I averaged in the 24 weeks leading up to Phoenix (65 mpw vs. 51 mpw).  I've done the math on the 12 week lead-ups and the 20 week lead-ups to marathons before, but I wanted to look at 24 weeks this time since the week of June 19 was really when I started running more mileage to prepare for this focused marathon build.  I feel like this is a substantial increase, while at the same time not being too risky.  But 65 still seems awfully low (how perspective changes!), so this math simultaneously made me feel like I am ready for a marathon PR and like this is not good enough.  Surprise!

November 1, 2017
Marathon training can feel like a silly pursuit of believing, doubting, wondering, and hungering.

November 3, 2017
The weather is forecasted to be horrible for the Bass Pro half on Sunday, so I am not going to better my half PR before CIM (I am actually not sure I can even hit my marathon goal pace in the conditions we are supposed to get).  This kind of terrifies me, because I definitely don't feel like I should try for a 2:45 having not yet run under 1:20, but I also believe I am in 1:18-1:19 shape under ideal conditions on a fast course.  I'm trying not to worry too much about those comparisons; after all, the time I ran for the second half of the BMO Phoenix marathon was also my third fastest lifetime half at that time, so trying for a similar result at CIM (given ideal conditions and peak) isn't completely unreasonable.  I just want to whine a little bit about Bass Pro's weather (more whining coming post-race) and then I'll move on!

Follow-up:  I did 6:20 pace at Bass Pro in the awful weather, which is about or slightly under realistic marathon goal pace, but not quite big dream goal pace of 6:17.  At this time I remain stuck on around 6:22 pace as my most likely target for CIM.

November 12, 2017
I was too busy running 80.7 miles (!!!) this week to add to this journal, but Lemony Snicket said it well below!  I'm not ready for a 2:45 attempt, but I probably never will be.  I'm going to go to California and begin the race aiming for a 2:47.  A 2:47 would be a great PR and a fantastic step for me.  Maybe I can get hit with the same magic I was in the marathons where I tried for a 2:52 and ran a 2:49, when I tried for a 3:05 and ran a 3:03, or when I tried for a 3:10 and ran 3:08.  The extra time is always in the second half and especially in the final 10K!  If I can't run a given time going out conservatively and then picking it up later, then I can't run that time that day.  No one ever says, "Man, I lost that marathon goal time by running too slow in the first 10K" (MANY lose it running too fast in the first 10K, whether they admit it or not).  All I know for sure is that even if I DNF CIM, this training cycle was great for my development and even in the worst case scenario would not be for naught...not to mention it's been a fun training cycle!

Also, I ran 24.5 miles today!  I did 21 relaxed (these were pretty much all 6:5X, except for a few 7:0X at the beginning and a couple 6:4X), then 3 progressive fast finish in 6:35, 6:16, 6:10 (grade adjusted paces were 6:27, 6:14, 6:08; I did not pick the easiest route, especially for the first of those 3 miles).  Then I ran to 2:48 so that ideally I will not be running for a longer duration this season!  Just need to fit 1.7 more miles into that duration, or in a perfect dream world 1.7 more miles into 3 minutes faster.  My average pace for the whole pop was 6:50, which I felt really good about.  I averaged 7:11 for this same run before my last marathon, so I hoped to be sub-7:00 to show that I'm possibly ready to take 10 seconds/mile off of my PR pace on race day.  I have only run 24.5 miles faster 3 times, in my 3 best marathons, and in 2 of those it wasn't much faster than this run but I was working much harder during those races (although I was working very hard in the last 2 miles today!).  The course I ran had 725 ft elevation gain, i.e. waaaay more than CIM (CIM has 350+ ft net elevation loss, also).

The miles went by really quickly and I'm not sure it could have gone any better really.  I did not stop my watch at any point during the run, meaning that I grabbed my fluid bottles from various random places, including the ditch, without stopping -- so I lost a little time each time I did that, but the clock doesn't stop on race day (however, I also do not plan to be bending down in a ditch to collect my race day fluids; if I am we have bigger problems!).  I didn't have to stop to pee, a change from my other 20+s but something I've always worked out for race day, and the key to that seems to be getting up earlier, because I got up an hour before starting this run instead of my usual 30 minutes.

I drank 4 tabs worth of nuun energy before and during the run, and took 2 gels (I will take 3-4 during the marathon), and also drank Ucan before the run.  On race day I will also eat a solid breakfast 3 hours before the race, but I didn't want to get up at 3:00 a.m. to do that for this one, but this just basically means I'll be better fueled on race day.  If you are trying a new pre-race meal or running a marathon for the first time, I highly recommend you don't be lazy like me and practice it beforehand, but this will be my fourth marathon with exactly the same pre-race and during-race nutrition so I feel really good about the combination that's worked for me previously.

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I was going to post this in a separate post, but decided to include it here and get this puppy posted:

I did the math on my mileage this marathon build, because I knew it was more than I'd ever done before but I wasn't sure how much more...and as per usual, I have been feeling like I'm not doing enough!  Here it is:

24 weeks pre-race CIM:

1. June 19 - 56.8
2. June 26 - 58.2
3. July 3 - 60.8
4. July 10 - 62.4
5. July 17 - 64
6. July 24 - 65
7. July 31 - 64.7
8. Aug. 7 - 62.4
9. Aug. 14 - 66.4
10. Aug. 21 - 68.4 (should've gone the extra 1.6!)
11. Aug. 28 - 62.5
12. Sep. 4 - 63.7 (Plaza 10K race week + Run for a Child 10K tempo)
13. Sep. 11 - 71.5
14. Sep. 18 - 71.3
15. Sep. 25 - 51.6 (Indy Half race week)
16. Oct. 2 - 70.1
17. Oct. 9 - 77.1
18. Oct. 16 - 71.6
19. Oct. 23 - 76.7
20. Oct. 30 - 70.2 (Bass Pro Half race week)
21. Nov. 6 -  80.7
22. Nov. 13 - 64
23. Nov. 20 - 53.3
24. Nov. 27 - estimated at 50

• Total miles run:  1563.2
• Average miles per week:  65.1
• Weeks in the 80s:  1
• Weeks in the 70s: 7
• Weeks in the 60s: 11

24 weeks pre-race BMO Mesa-Phoenix (I forgot to write down the dates when I went through Strava for this data and I was too lazy to go back and get them):

1. 61.3 (Prairie Fire peak mileage week)
2. 53.9
3. 41.5 
4. 45.7 (Prairie Fire Marathon race week)
5. 33 (Prairie Fire recovery)
6. 51.5
7. 50
8. 45.7 (Bass Pro Marathon race week)
9. 29.1 (Bass Pro recovery)
10. 43.5 (White River Half race week)
11. 45.1
12. 50.6
13. 55.7
14. 65
15. 60.3
16. 57.1
17. 62
18. 54.7 (Rock 'n' Roll Arizona race week)
19. 64.2
20. 61.3
21. 67.6 (Phoenix peak mileage week)
22. 56.7
23. 48.2
24. 48.2 (BMO Phoenix Marathon race week)

• Total miles run: 1242.9
• Average miles per week:  51.8
• Weeks in the 60s: 7

I'm happy with my increase and I think it will pay off.  My CIM build was longer, since Phoenix was also my third marathon within 20 weeks.  The tapers and recoveries from Prairie Fire and Bass Pro reduced my pre-Phoenix average mileage some, but I also felt like I'd recently run a marathon, whereas now I feel like it's been ages since I've run one!

I am prepared to up to week after week of mileage into the 80s for the next one, provided I'm staying healthy.  Whatever it takes!  I'm not confident that CIM 2017 is going to earn me a spot on the Trials starting line in 2020, but I am going to keep pursuing a performance that does before the qualifying window closes in January 2020.

Bass Pro Half Marathon: Call it heat training!

The Short:
Based on the crap weather (72*, dew point of 70*, 15-25 mph south wind), my goal for this race shifted from aiming for a solid time to running it at goal marathon pace (6:17).  I also cut out the small taper for it, running 70 miles for the week instead of the planned 61, because there wasn't any reason to sacrifice marathon training volume when there was no chance at a fast half.  My goal that stayed constant was to get the overall female win, and I accomplished that one despite not being able to quite hit goal marathon pace (I averaged 6:20 pace...but let me tell you, 6:20 sure felt like 6:05 pace!).  However, I loved the hometown event and ran with a smile on my face the entire race!  God doesn't always give us what we want (such as nice race weather), but He always gives us what we need (perhaps the way things turned out will be more beneficial for The Big Goal).  The best part about the race was that two of the ladies I train with took the 2nd and 3rd overall spots, effectively giving our group the 1-2-3 sweep!  Oh, and Albani's shirt was also a hit, and she couldn't have worn it in cooler temperatures.

But her dad gives her junk food while her mom races!

All done = all smiles

The Long:
I included this half in my race schedule because it's local, the organizers do a fantastic job, and it was 4 weeks out from my goal marathon so I thought it would be a good checkpoint -- also because my coach recommended that I not run the Bass Pro full marathon as a B race like I usually do.  The course isn't fast because it has one million turns, the final 2 miles up inclines, and the field at my pace is always very thin/nonexistent, but those cons are usually balanced out by nearly perfect weather and by it being a hometown race (typical routines, no travel, sleeping in my own bed, eating at home).  But, alas, the 40*/sunny/light wind combination we usually get for this race was not to be in 2017!  Instead, it was 72* with a dew point of 70* (i.e., painfully humid) with 15-25 mph south winds.  Midwest weather is predictably unpredictable, but our high of 83* on this day set an all-time record, so it's usually not quite this extreme in November.

I knew I couldn't run a PR or anywhere near it in those conditions, because anytime the dew point is in the 70s my performance nosedives.  I've read that humidity that high reduces your VO2 max, and based on how my races go in those conditions I fully believe it (not where I originally read it, but it is mentioned here and here so I did not make this up!).  Pre-race my goals shifted from gunning for a fast time to mainly working for the win and running around goal marathon pace.  I also ran 70 miles during race week, so I figured to some degree this could simulate the second half of a marathon.

Race morning I woke up in my own bed after the time change (meaning an extra hour in bed!), headed to the race with my husband and daughter, and warmed up with my dear friend Missy.  It felt more like a workout day than a race, and I felt no pressure.  I hoped to keep my pace between 6:15-6:20, and I knew I shouldn't bank on a negative split because the course started off working its way north (tailwind) and finished working back south (headwind), plus the beginning has more decline and the end has more incline.

Ariel of the starting line

Ponytail flying at the start

About 100-200 m in

After the gun I found myself in first female position for the half (the first female in the full was just ahead of me, but I know her and knew she was running the full...she is also my coach's wife and he was running with her!).  This seemed like a great sign for me, because I was running around 6:20 pace.  There were a handful of men around too.  The half and full courses split just after the 1 mile mark, and I saw 3 men in front of me.  I also got a female lead cyclist at that point, and despite my experience with having a lead female cyclist without actually leading in Kansas City two weeks prior, I trusted that I was leading this time since it was a much easier gauge in less of a crowd and complete daylight.

Around 2.5

The race itself was pretty uneventful, while at the same time very enjoyable -- the awesome local race feeling!  I locked into the effort that felt sustainable for 13.1 and ran familiar streets.  I drove the course twice the week before this race to prevent any re-occurrences of The Bass Pro Wrong Turn Incident of 2016.  I thought driving the course beforehand helped me run the course tangents, but sometimes I couldn't run the tangents due to cars parked on the side of the road, aid stations, or huge mile marker signs blocking the path; however, I thought I did a much better job than my watch indicated.

I later learned that the current half course isn't certified anyway, so perhaps I did do a better job with tangents than my watch showed. There are two certifications on the USATF website for the event, but neither is the course we ran (see here and here for the certified ones), also making me not feel so bad about missing the Missouri State road racing record for age 37 (1:23:11), since it wouldn't have counted anyway.  Nor would a PR have really counted had I run one, so maybe I can even say I dodged a bullet there (just being optimistic)!

Excuse the tangent - pun intended.  My pacing was very consistent when considered with the elevation and headwind/tailwind situation, so even though I wasn't running my fastest I thought I did really well at zeroing in on the effort I could sustain for a half in these conditions.  I got to see my husband and daughter around 2.5 and 9.5, something that I don't get to do in non-local halves.

Elevation

I really enjoyed all of the amazing spectators and volunteers out on the course.  Many took the time to shout "First female!", "Girl power!", etc. as I passed.  I am so thankful for our amazing running community!  Around the 15K, I heard one spectator say to another, "Wow, she looks so strong and fast", and that made my day.  I ran with a smile plastered on my face the whole race.  It's such a fun race to win.  Even though I never felt stellar, I loved being out there and having the opportunity to race locally and see so many people I knew.  My lead cyclist was awesome, and I asked him to let me draft off him going south, but we could never quite work it out -- I think it's difficult to maintain consistent 6:20 pace on a bike, because that's very slow cycling.

Around 9.5 - running into the wind & trying to draft

I have often struggled with the last 2 miles on this course, but I got a boost from my friend Danielle cheering around mile 11 and a man passing me a bit before mile 12 (he went on to beat me but I hung with him until the last half mile or so).  It felt great to hear the race announcer mispronouncing my name as the overall female winner for the half

Running happy around 11.5!

I look like I'm haulin' here (although I was not!)

Sweet finish stretch

Clock shot

Finish line shot, but no tape to break

Finishing close up

The photographer grabbed me for this
one right after I crossed the line

 I then got to see two amazing ladies I train with come in 2nd and 3rd overall females!  I was so proud of them and that our group dominated this one.  I will also add that I know they are both in 1:25-1:26 shape and that this race did not show anyone's true fitness level (the overall male has run 1:12 recently).  Official results can be found here, and a news article about the race here.  After the race (and an I'm-dehydrated-and-starving cool down to make it an 18 mile day), I enjoyed socializing with our amazing running community.  Albani and I also volunteered at the expo the day before the race and enjoyed plenty of that there too.  Runners really are the best people!

Future marathon pacer

Missy's daughter Emma ran a 5K PR with Danielle's help!

Awards

Results

Splits that reflect the headwind/tailwind miles well (7-10 headwind)

Although it would have been nice to have a confidence-boosting speedy half going into CIM, maybe I got more benefits from skipping tapering for this race and the heat training adaptations that I hope occurred from it (in a timely coincidence, I read this blog post regarding the benefits of heat training the day before the race).  On one hand, I think if I want to run a marathon at 6:17 pace, I ought to be able to hit a half at that pace under any circumstances, but on the other hand I averaged 6:10 pace for a 10K on Labor Day in similar weather, and then managed 6:07 pace for half a few weeks later with decent weather, so I haven't lost faith.  And, I ran far better at Bass Pro than I did at Dam to Dam, so I guess I can call this my 70* dew point PR!

Hopefully this also means that I'm due some really, really nice weather in 4 weeks!  I know that God will give me what I need, even if it isn't what I want, then too.

Professional picture of the awards

Prairie Fire & Bass Pro Marathon Thoughts 1 Year Later

Facebook has been reminding me recently that on October 9, 2016, I ran and PRed at the Prairie Fire Marathon.  It was the first time I broke the 3:00 barrier.  I ran the Bass Pro Marathon 4 weeks after that and managed my second sub-3:00.  I figured by the time I finished and proofread this post it would likely be the Bass Pro 1 year anniversary, so I decided to tackle reflections back on both races with this post.  (Note:  Bass Pro 2017 is coming up on Sunday, so I was correct!  I will be running the half this year).

First rewind to summer 2015.  I had a marathon PR of 3:03:47 (set in 2010), and had strung together nearly a year of uninterrupted running.  This was big for me, because I'd had many injuries before that time.  I was working on improving my half marathon PR, and decided that I wanted to try to break 3:00 in the marathon, because, really, who is content to let their marathon PR stay at 3:03?!  I fully believed it when I told my husband that once I broke 3:00 I would retire from marathoning.  I think I'd forgotten exactly how much I loved marathons and marathon training, since in at that time in 2015 I hadn't run once since 2011 (and not one competitively since my 3:03 in 2010).

Through a random chain of events that I'm thankful for, I ended up working with my current coach for my 2015 marathon build.  I told him that I wanted to break 3:00 and that I wanted to peak at 50 miles a week; God bless him for not laughing in my face at that oxymoron request!  I ended that cycle with a 3:01 marathon in Dallas in December 2015, a PR that sure left me wanting more (and who is content to let their marathon PR stay at 3:01?!).  I then tried to train myself for the Phoenix marathon in February 2016, and low and behold I injured myself and missed the race.  After that, it was back to my coach for another sub-3:00 attempt at Prairie Fire in October 2016.  I still truly believed that I would be satisfied if I hit 2:59:59 and wouldn't feel the need to keep chasing marathon PRs, but I was also already registered for Bass Pro in November 2016 and Phoenix in February 2017 when I toed the line at Prairie Fire, so it was certainly not to be my last marathon!

Going into Prairie Fire, I felt very unsure of myself, mainly because I'd tried to break 3:00 and failed at Dallas.  Before Dallas, I'd felt sure that I was going to hit my goal time, but before Prairie Fire I did not feel confident and was probably the most nervous I'd been before any marathon.  Although neither my taper nor the race went off without a hitch, I broke 3:00 for the first time with a 2:58:53.  I was elated with the blessings of the day and with hitting this major goal, but I also had a very unexpected thought:  "I can do better."

Post-marathon emotion at Prairie Fire

I'd decided to run Bass Pro 2016 as a B race, mainly because it's my local marathon and I love it, but also because I like to get two marathons out of one training cycle.  It was 4 weeks after Prairie Fire, and I didn't intend to go for another sub-3:00 at it until my coach told me he thought I could try it.  So, I went for it and succeeded, actually running a bit faster pace and a stronger negative split than I had at Prairie Fire.  However, the difference wasn't reflected in my official finishing time of 2:59:04, because I took a wrong turn during the race and ran about 1:30 extra.  While I was extremely hard on myself about this error, it ended up again boiling down to the thought, "I can do better."  I would have run a 2:57 at Bass Pro without the wrong turn, so it was clear to me that I could hit at least a 2:57, and probably a 2:53-2:55 on a course without a million turns (Bass Pro is not a fast course).

In addition to the links above, I wrote even more about Prairie Fire here, here, and here, and about Bass Pro here.

I now find it pretty humorous that I actually said and believed that I'd be through with my marathon time goal pursuits once I broke 3:00!  At that time, I really thought that was my maximum potential, but once I did it I knew I had faster ones in me.  I am floored by what God has done with my running in the span of a year.  Last year, 6:51.9 pace for 26.2 miles was my major goal; this year, my 18-22 mile easy paced long runs have consistently been 6:49-6:52, and I've generally finished them feeling like I could continue for several more miles.  The amount of thankfulness I need to have for this is never lost on me; each time I cannot believe that I could go on to run a sub-3:00 in training on my hilly training routes (although I admittedly also tell myself, "well, that had better be easy since you're trying to run 15 minutes under 3:00!".  I feel so blessed to have made these gains, but I still think, "I can do better."

I will always treasure the experiences I had at these two races, and they were very important steps towards my 2:49:20 performance (and current PR) in Phoenix.  I love remembering all of the training miles I shared with friends, and I am so thankful for my family supporting me during my training endeavors and during the races themselves.  I think God uses those times during races to bring us closer to him; something about pushing through the long races and training runs simply makes me feel more alive and more faithful.  Something about it makes me better, even if I still think, "I can do better."  Perhaps He makes me think that so that He can make me better, in non-running ways too.

I think the take-away is that we should all challenge our limits and not accept that a big accomplishment is our max, even if at one point that accomplishment was a far-reaching dream.  Maybe it is our max, but why not try to shoot higher?  What's the saying -- if you shoot for the stars and fail, you may still land on the moon.

Maybe I can't do better; maybe my PR will always be 2:49.  But I think that not trying to improve it would be a greater failure than trying and not succeeding.  No matter what happens, I am never going to wonder what would have happened if I'd tried, because I am going to try and try again until I either hit that 2:45:00 or the qualifying window closes.

I am thankful, but not satisfied; I can do better.  I felt that way after Prairie Fire, I felt that way after Bass Pro, and honestly no matter how CIM goes I suspect that I will feel that way.  That may make me annoying, but it also keeps me hungry and striving, and isn't that what our passions are all about?

"Run in such a way as to get the prize." - 1 Corinthians 9:24

Well, that was a let-down: Kansas City Half Marathon

The Short:
The biggest lesson I learned from this one is that achieving your goal becomes a let-down if you first think you've exceeded that goal.  I ran this race as a progressive split tempo workout, and expected to finish in 1:23:40 if I executed the workout as written (yes, I did the exact math).  The weather was craptastic (68* and 25 mpw wind), the course is hilly (around 750 ft gain), and my Garmin freaked out, but I ran the workout the best I could under the conditions I had, and I finished the race in 1:21:36.  I later learned that the female lead cyclist guided me though a wrong turn that cut 0.28 off the course, meaning that I should have run a 1:23:16 (I did the exact math on this too).  Oh, and despite having that female lead cyclist with me from mile 2 through the end, and having her and multiple spectators tell me that I was winning the race, I actually placed 2nd overall female.  I would have been thrilled with hitting the challenging workout on the challenging course, and perfectly happy with 2nd overall when running it as a workout had I not thought I ran a 1:21 and won for hours (and posted it on social media).  Oy!

The smile of someone who *thought* she was about to win, hah

The Long:
I love the Kansas City Half Marathon and have run it 7 times now:  2010, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, and 2017 (I ran the full marathon with the event in 2005, 2007, and 2011).  In what was perhaps the luckiest win of my life, I won a free entry for life into the race in a 2011 photo contest, so I will obviously keep running it every year!  I highly recommend the event and would run it most years even without the free entry too -- even after what happened this time, though it's going to take me a bit to get over it.

2017 was a year that this event didn't work as a goal race for me.  It's a challenging hilly course, but I've PRed on it twice in the past (with a 1:24 in 2015 and a 1:28:36 in 2010), and wouldn't be against trying that again, but the timing for that wasn't right this year. With the way the weather panned out I am so glad I did not make it a goal race.  When I sent my coach my list of races for this season, I noted "can be done as a workout" by several of them, including this one.  I expected to perhaps run this unrested at marathon goal pace, but I didn't exactly expect the workout I got, which was a split tempo workout of 4, 3, 2, 1 miles with 0.5 mile recoveries (and the last 1.1 with "all you've got left").  Essentially this meant the race was supposed to be 10 miles at tempo, 2 miles at recovery, and 1.1 of hammering.  The tempo goal paces were challenging (6:15-6:20 for the 4 mile, 6:10-6:15 for the 3, 6:05-6:10 for the 2, sub-6:00 for the 1), and I knew if I hit them I would end up with a pretty solid half time.  I had some pretty big concerns about being able to hit them in the wind and on the Kansas City course though!  I was still glad I was running the workout during the race, because I didn't exactly have any training partners jumping up and down to run this one with me, and I was also able to combine it with my once a month-ish work trip to Kansas City.

Getting ready to roll to the race solo

I treated the race like a workout day, but it's also hard not to get extra pumped in a race environment.  I tried to time my warm-up jog to go straight into the race, and ended up with 2.5 miles total plus some drills and strides.  Then we were off!  The 10K, half, and full marathon all started together, it's a huge race, and it's still mostly dark at the 7:05 a.m. start, so I saw a handful of women out ahead of me but I didn't know which event most of them were in, and then it was difficult to track as the masses spread out.  I was fully invested to sticking to my pace plan, but I also knew that 1:29 won the half in 2016 (the first year the race stopping giving prize money), so I thought I'd have a chance at a top spot.

I hit mile 1 in exactly 6:20, right where I wanted to be.  During mile 2, I looked at my Garmin to check my pace and it was reading 4:33 average pace for that mile, which I was definitely not running.  Just before the 2 mile mark the 10K course split off from the half and full, and a cyclist started riding just behind me.  I checked my Garmin again and it read 8-something pace, which I was also definitely not running.  I ended up using the course miles for mile splits 2, 3, and 4, because my Garmin was being funky.  I knew I was right around my range of 6:15-6:20 for those miles, because math was work-able off the course markers at this point.

I had my workout programmed into my watch, but since my watch was screwing up pace and distance, it made my half mile recoveries not fall when they should on my watch, and I started getting stressed out about not having my workout splits.  I thought about starting to manually lap by the course miles and just using my watch distance for the half mile recoveries, but since I was running the pre-programmed workout I thought I'd really screw it up by starting to manually lap, advancing it and making it end early, so I ended up just doing the best I could with doing the math on the course markers when I could (which is not easy when running hard!).  Because of all of this the splits my Garmin took were often a mix of hard running and recovery running (and also not even correct -- I think my Strava data were close to accurate but were also a mix of hard running and recoveries).  I don't have my actual workout splits at all, aside from knowing my first 4 miles were right on.

When I was on my first recovery, I asked the cyclist with me if she was for me, and she told me she was the lead female half cyclist.  I then got excited that I was leading, but worried that someone was going to pass me on my recovery jog.  But I stuck with the workout plan and did the recovery jogs!  The factors that really helped me stick to this was that I knew it wouldn't be a good day to race fast due to the temperature and wind speed, and no one (men or women) passed me on my recoveries, but since CIM is the big goal I think I'd have stuck to the workout regardless.

The miles went by pretty quickly, I think partially because I was focused on each segment of my workout and not 13.1 as a whole -- and probably also because I panicking about screwing up the workout due to my watch issues and trying to do math on my splits.  Several people on the course told me "first female", which spurred me along, and the cyclist complimented me several times, which was quite helpful.  I was also very ready to get out of the crazy wind, so anytime we were running into it I was pushing to get to the next turn for some relief.

The face of someone trying to do mental math on splits

 In the final 2.5 miles or so, the half course met back up with the 10K course, and then I was pushing to get to the finish and out of the 10K masses!  For the final quarter mile or so, the road was divided with the half finishing to the left and the 10K finishing to the right, so that was helpful.  The announcer said my name as I was coming in, and I kind of expected a finishing tape and a "first overall female" announcement, but there was none of that.  I was, however, pleasantly surprised to see a 1:21 finishing time; when I was a bit farther away I thought the clock was on 1:24 instead of 1:21!

Happy finishing stretch shot, with 10Kers on the left

I specialize in ruining finishing photos by stopping my watch

Forced smile for this one

My friend Michelle, who ran an awesome 10K, was at the finish waiting for me, as we had planned to meet there and cool down together (she had a 10 mile cool down and had already started it).  She told me that she got to break the finishing tape, although she actually placed 2nd (perhaps they thought the winner was in the 5K), and I commented that I didn't get the tape for winning either.  She told me that I was 2nd, with 1st female coming in at 1:18.  I then explained that I'd had the lead cyclist for the whole race!  I feel bad for the 1st girl, but I guess the cyclist missed her coming by.  It just pretty much sucked to think that I was leading for 11 miles only to find out that, nope, I did not win.

Michelle made it in my picture here!

Later, another friend who lives in Kansas City and who had been out on the race course told me that she saw me and many other runners make a wrong turn that cut some distance off the course.  From her description, the course map, and my Strava map, I was easily able to figure out where the error was made.  I used MapMyRun to determine how much we cut off the course, and we were 0.28 short or about 1:40.  I was extremely disappointed because the lead cyclist took me this route, several men around me also ran this way, and it meant that my 1:21:36 was incorrect.  I should have run about 1:23:16.

What I ran

What I should have run

Now, I would have been perfectly happy with hitting my workout and running a 1:23 as calculated, and with placing 2nd overall if I hadn't thought I'd run a 1:21 and won!  I felt like I got short-changed, because I would have been pleased with the actual outcome (especially considering the stupid wind), but with how it all played out I ended up unhappy with reality.  If I'd have known I was in 2nd (or at least just not thought I was winning) the whole race, I'd have felt fine about it.  I was coming in the final mile thinking, "I'm going to win the KC half!" and crossed the finish line thinking that, only to learn that, nope, I did not!  The race results initially had a bunch of 10K runners mixed in with the half, so for awhile I was listed as 11th, which I knew was wrong but I was wondering if there were others in front of me I didn't know about too.  I was also upset about not having my workout splits to know if I executed the workout well.  From my overall time, I know I had to have been close, but I also doubt I did the splits just like I was supposed to, especially not having the feedback.  I'd like to compare this to the similar workouts I've done before others marathons.  And the 1:23 that pre-race I thought would mean a super solid workout now feels sub-par since I thought "Wow, I had a really good day to run 1:21 in a workout on this crazy course in this crazy wind; maybe I can actually run a 2:45."  Nope!!!

For a couple of days I was also worried about posting anything publicly about this and made my activity view-able by only me on Strava, because I was worried I would get disqualified (I've since changed it back).  The cyclist provided by the race took me the wrong way, so I don't think I should be penalized, but if I'm out a plaque after writing this then so be it.  It did not affect my placing, as the third female ran a 1:29, and I was among many runners who made the same error.

Perhaps this is my race karma for running about the same distance too far in the Bass Pro Marathon last year. The universe owed me that 0.28 in my forever race results, hahaha!

The run really tired me out; I suspect it was a combination of running this during a 71 mile week, the wind, and the elevation, but I was much more tired in the 2 days after than I was after the Indy Half.  I'm thankful for another solid week in the books, and I'm thankful for this run (give me a few weeks and I will be more thankful).  I will definitely wear a pace band at CIM, which is helpful for many reasons but also really nice in the case of Garmin error.

This is not an easy course

Official results can be found here.

A fun article on the race, particularly the women's full marathon winner, can be found here (I'm listed at the end).

Results

Well, the placing is correct

A few things Jon and Albani did while I was away for work in KC plus this race (I was jealous and sad I missed them):

Halloween cupcakes (I was there for the pumpkin decorating the week before)

A survival shelter

She's been watching some survival TV programs!